Sky & Ollie’s Crappy New Year! (2016) Sky & Ollie’s Crappy New Year! (2016)
    Sky: Ello, you sorry sods, this is your pal Sky with ya and on my left side is the always annoying and... Sky & Ollie’s Crappy New Year! (2016)

 

 

Sky: Ello, you sorry sods, this is your pal Sky with ya and on my left side is the always annoying and verbose Ollie. And as you can see “We are still here“….in 2016….at The Supernaughts!

Ollie: A site that as Mr. Scott Colbert said, many had hoped it would it would fail and yet 2 years later, here we are! We even outlasted our original spot.

Sky: Oh, the one that rhymes with “Hawkcracker”?

Ollie: Yes, that one as well as PE and by that definition, I’m not referring to the exceptional Rap band-Public Enemy….then again, they kinda died decades ago. Not as relevant as the eighties.

Sky: And speaking of “death”, oh what a bloody horrible year 2016 has been. Everyone started out being very optimistic during the arrival of this Year, and on January 10th, the first shot was fired by the Grim Reaper. Legendary Performer, Songwriter and the man who inspired both Punk and Glam, David Bowie had died of Liver Cancer of all things!

Ollie: I guess that means I better cut back on drinking….oh, fuck that noise, I got 8 Lives left!
*Gurgle, glug*

Sky: And they’ll be all used up by the time 2017 rolls around. Bowie’s passing was only the start of uncanny events to come as many had eventually found out. Celebs have been dying off faster than the Autobots in Transformers The Movie! What the bloody ‘ell?!?

It seems in the “land of the free”, there has been a spike of Police shootings, with the Police doing all the shooting. One would think that its “Black Season” instead of “Wabbit Season”! These yanks are either poorly trained or….

Ollie: …woke up saying “y’know, I think I’m gonna kill me a n*993r today”…

Yup, its the latter. There are plenty of good officers who do their best to serve the community but unfortunately, the bad blue apples along with mainstream media (Who profits off sensationalism and misery.) are partly to blame for the retaliatory acts committed against those who were innocent while enforcing the law.
*Ahem*

Sky: Aaww, was that coming from the heart, or are you afraid of any saying anything negative out of fear of repercussions? BUAHUAUH!

Ollie: *Facepalm* Um, er, how about that Muslim who shot a bunch of patrons at a Gay Nightclub? And here’s the twist, the shooter is, or rather, was a closeted self-hating Homosexual! “Who knew”?

Sky: Then there’s other shit like “Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, All lives matter but in the end, it’s Cats, who lives really matter because at the end of the day- at least you don’t see us fucking each other over some goddamn percentage!

Ollie: Preach it ! Beware of the beast called man!

Sky: Okay, let’s not be a pair of cynical shits and focus on the good things from this year…….

………

Watched any good movies lately?

Ollie: Not really, most of them sucked!

Sky: With the exception of one, according to our Boss and Producer of the Sky & Ollie show, Mr. S absolutely,  loved Captain America: Civil War!

Ollie: Heh, that’s a real “shocking revelation”!
I bet he even owns the expensive Sideshow Collectibles action figures! Fucking Fanboi!
I prefer Deadpool, because his persona is in sync with mines. Okay, I lied, I’m not that vulgar or am I?

Speaking of “Civil War”, I noticed that there has been a Civil War happening since Donald J (As in “Jerkoff”) Trump ran for and WON as the new President of the United States!! This country has never been this divisive since the 2009 Super Bowl! Or if The Force Awakens and Batman Vs Superman are actually great films!!

Sky: Oh if ever there were a need to distribute Prozac without costs or prescription, it would most certainly go to the United States, especially when it comes to most of Trump’s supporters and the Alt-Right or shall I say the Alt-Reich? What a bunch of Nutbags who think he’s the Great Messiah.

I have seen friendships come to a dramatic end and to top it all off, there were even” death threats”!!  Well, mostly from teh “Trumpettes”.
Oh, I forgot, people can say ANYTHING just as long as they’re behind a screen, phone or a laptop. Someone must’ve had a Blue Christmas.

“All the lonely people”, indeed. *wink*

*Audience laughs*

Ollie: According to Mr. S, there have been a few good things that came from 2016 and he’s gonna tell us why!

Sky: Great stuff, as always Mr. S, !

Ollie: Why is he called “Mr. S”?

Sky: Because some dude already took “Mr. X”.

Ollie: Ah, our ol buddy Kesh! Whatever happened to that guy?

Sky: Nerdbong (RIP) He will surely be missed.

Ollie: And speaking of the dead, it’s time for that segment where we pay our respects to those who made the transition in a year that stinks of death and decay like certain talkbackers. Too soon?

ROLL ‘EM!

 

Sky: How touching and I loved what he did with Bowie’s “Life on Mars”…..Hold it!! He forgot to add Gene Wilder!! That bloody knobber!

Ollie : It seems that Antonin Scalia received a dubious “Honorable Mention” at least.

scalia

Sky: Be careful because Trump may appoint the next supreme court judge who could really fuck us over! Can you imagine David Duke taking Ruth Ginsburg’s place the minute she keels over??

Ollie: And speaking of “predictions” for 2017, what do think will happen during next year?

Sky: Other than rioting in the streets, the collapse of the economy and the stuff I read from your fictional best seller- :Days of Future Present”, I would say that there’s a new exercise fad that nearly everyone will try. It starts with sitting forward almost like a stomach crunch, then arch your head forward enough to the extent of your lips reaching your bum, so that you will be able to KISS YOUR ARSE, GOODBYE because that Orange idiot will get us all killed!

 

Ollie: I’ll try to remain cautiously optimistic and focus on the positives like my New Year’s Resolutions.

1. Respect for those whose political differences differ from your very own.

2. Never engage with the trolls no matter how desperate they try to goad or bait because they’re obviously miserable individuals in a lot of pain.

3. Learn to forgive your haters, because to hold onto a grudge can eat the bearer’s insides like Cancer. It’s an unhealthy outlook and you’ll be all the better for it.

Sky: That’s very mature coming from the likes of you, however you know what they say about Resolutions- No one really follows them!!

*Collective hysterical laughing between Sky and Ollie*

Sky: Happy New Year’s Day!

 

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Stalkeye

. Satirist, Gamer, Artist and Pop Culture commentator- Stalks offers his outspoken views on on most things Geek related as well as WTF is wrong with the world today!