GIJoe: The Movie (1987) GIJoe: The Movie (1987)
      Happy 4th of July! The time that many go on Summer vacations, Barbecues and lighting fireworks! Speaking of “fireworks”, I thought... GIJoe: The Movie (1987)

 

 

 

Happy 4th of July!

The time that many go on Summer vacations, Barbecues and lighting fireworks!

Speaking of “fireworks”, I thought I’d give a RETROspective of those real American Heroes; G.I.Joe in their first animated feature; G.I. Joe the Movie.

 

What happens when the most memorable scene from this animated feature is the opening, well that would be GI Joe the Movie of course. The Joe Team, led by Duke, take on a new mysterious enemy while attempting to recover a device capable of causing worldwide destruction of humankind. Despite the film having your typical MacGuffin scenario, the movie had themes of redemption, drama and even pathos! Well, not exactly since Hasbro decided to change Duke’s fate via the Optimus Prime death scene from Transformers the Movie.

"He's in a coma" my ass! In the Japanese release, Duke is as dead as the Ramones!

“He’s in a coma” my ass!
In the Japanese release, Duke is as dead as the Ramones!

This decision to allow Duke (Field Commander of the Joes) to survive, disappointed fans such as myself and of course the film’s writer and producer, Buzz Dixon. You can hear his reaction from the Blu Ray commentary track, and it’s not subtle at all. I never really cared for the introductions of the Rawhide recruits, especially Big Lob who was more of a Scottie Pippen throwback and said character reminded me of Police Academy’s Michael Winslow.

In my opinion, Battleforce 2000 although also far fetched, would’ve been a much better choice than Rawhides.

If I were Beachead, I would be pissed too for training lame ass Joes.

If I were Beachead, I would be pissed too for training lame ass Joes.

Lt Falcon (Don Johnson) although not a badass like Flint or Roadblock, was integral to the story’s arc and of course, Duke’s “demise”. There were a few questions left unanswered in the script by veteran TV writer Ron Friedman (Fantasy Island, Chico and the Man, Starsky and Hutch, Arise Serpentor Arise): Who actually perished during the destruction of Cobra La? Were some of the Joes part of the fatalities? Did Destro and the baroness survive? What the fuck happened to Zartan and Storm Shadow?

Before "Not the Bees" there was "Not the Spores"!

Before “Not the Bees” there was “Not the Spores”!

 

The animation courtesy of Japan’s Toei studio is organic and is very fluid. Just look at the scene in which the dog  called Order retrieves an explosive device thrown by Beachhead. Speaking of animation, the opening sequence is nothing short of spectacular! Thanks to storyboard artist Larry Houston I remember having “Geekgasms” when first seeing the scene whereas Cobra schemes to detonate a Bomb on the Statue of Liberty only to have their plans thwarted by a certain special missions force whose purpose is to defend Human Freedom.

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Besides the awesome aesthetics courtesy of storyboard artist there was the intro theme that was kicked into overdrive: “He never gives up, He’ll never say Die! Walking tall with Banners hiiiigh, the sound of Battlecry , Yo Joe! Yo Joe! GI Joe A Real American Hero, GI Joe is there.” I thought some scenarios were a bit far fetched such as the whole Cobra La concept, although Burgess Meredith was excellent as Golobulos I wasn’t too happy about Cobra Commander revealed as a deformed Nobleman who later on, mutated into a Snake.

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Then there’s Sgt. Slaughter being able to take on Nemesis Enforcer who was strong enough to lift a Tank…um ok.

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Also, I remember reading about an omitted scene where Zartan’s Sister Zarana, undresses near a swamp lake. I guess a bare breast would’ve jumped the film’s rating to PG-13. However, stake through the chest is just fine though. Ah, America! XD

Thulsa Doomed! Duke takes one for the team!

Thulsa Doomed! Duke takes one for the team!

Despite these critiques I still enjoyed the movie and not only is it a suitable swan song for the hugely popular toy tie in series but worthy of every animation lovers’ collection.

Yo, Joe!

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Stalkeye

Stalkeye= anagram of Stalker and Snake Eyes. Satirist, Gamer, Artist and Pop Culture commentator- Stalks offers his outspoken views on on most things Geek related as well as WTF is wrong with the world today!

  • Stalkeye

    Damn Marvel, punked out on that decision!!!

  • Honestly though , I don´t see how showing her BEWBS in that scene would be necessary ( even though I desperately want to see them of course )

    The film has a special place for me regardless. The whole Cobra La ( lalalalalalalalala ) deal is indeed a huge stretch. Globulus and co would have easily killed of the cavemen, but they just fuck off under the ice for some reason, and 60000 years later they send a laboratory fuckup to take on modern man ? Its weird…..

  • Bop

    So where can I see the Japanese version?

    I love Gi Joe The Movie, although that reptile shit sure pissed me off.
    Beach Head totally stole the show if you ask me.
    And Slaughter’s saying:”We all are going home or no one goes home” is a rule I still live by.

  • Toruk_Makto

    “Do as you’re told like an obedient lackey”

  • Toruk_Makto

    “Like my blind Ninja Master used to say: the keenest eye is that which looks…inward”

  • Toruk_Makto

    “There’s only two ways out of my command, on your feet like a man, or in a ditty bag. An itty-bitty ditty bag”

  • Toruk_Makto

    “Well, look what just dropped in, bruddahs. A hundred seventy pounds of air pollution!”

  • Toruk_Makto

    “I can the whites of their beady little eyes”

  • Toruk_Makto

    “Don’t dig that crazy sound, tell me man, what’s going down?”

  • Dee-abolik

    Nobody here knows that movie. Same goes for the Transformers cartoon.

  • I dig all of Roadblocks lines.

  • Stalkeye

    Yeah, tbh I dont recall seeing this movie after all. I was just makin shit up as I wrote this piece.😉

  • Stalkeye

    Jinx!

  • Stalkeye

    Serpentor!

  • Stalkeye

    Sgt. Slaughter!

  • Stalkeye

    Beachead has always been one of my favs.
    Chuckles was a total waste who didnt have any speaking lines whatsoever. Kind of like a dumb mute. He went full retard.😒

  • Dee-abolik

    I meant here n Austria, lol.

  • Stalkeye

    I was being a smartass who just couldnt resist the opportunity Bro. XD

  • Bop

    Chuckles was pretty cool in the comic. Did you read those new Gi Joe comics too? I think there was this comic in which Chuckles turned bad or something.

  • Stalkeye

    I have those comics loaded on my smartphone but never got around to it. Maybe I need to finally check those out.

  • Captain Genius

    man, i know you ain’t talking shit about tunnel rat

  • Stalkeye

    Not really but I liked him much better in GIJoe Renegades.Tunnel Rat was modeled after Larry Hama himself.