SUK’s Best of the Week: 2015-02 SUK’s Best of the Week: 2015-02
In this, the second week of 2015, Nick and Dan talk about Tom Hardy leaving Suicide Squad, a teacher getting in trouble for showing... SUK’s Best of the Week: 2015-02

In this, the second week of 2015, Nick and Dan talk about Tom Hardy leaving Suicide Squad, a teacher getting in trouble for showing students the ABCs, What the Fuck Florida, Asshole of the week, and much, much more!

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Mr. Nick Nightly

Co-host of the Shut Up Kids podcast and passionate defender of sleaze, nudity and free speech. Nick is a passionate man with an insane range of knowledge in music, film, literature and pornography. With a voice smoother than a waxed vulva, he dabbles in singing and songwriting, having been involved in projects ranging from hard rock, rap, folk, and goofball self-indulgence.

  • Nick’s feud against Bill Cosby continues.

  • in style

  • Geena Davis lol

  • WTFF segment is so funny so true and so sad. All at the same time.

  • She could play the joker

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    And she’s one of the few 60 year olds that can play with my cock.

  • I’m glad Hardys off SS. recasting like That doesn’t work for me. Evans as cap is the rare time it worked.

  • Yess. Holy shit, what a day. I sure can use a laugh or two about now.

  • She has the mouth for it.

    Duck it

    I loved cut throat island when it came out. And still love long kiss goodnight

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    With an ensemble like this, I don’t think it will matter. I’m a Hardy fan so its a bummer.

  • Last night for me. Shitty. I needed spiritual healing.

    SUK. BOTW > Church

  • WTF is that Spanish Fly song…? 😀

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    She’s done some good stuff

  • She still has it.

  • Hell get something better. He’s going to be a huge star. If they dont fumble thus movie could be extremely cool

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    That’s Bill Cosby joking about drugging women in a standup routine from 1969.

  • We should have known. All along

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    I chopped it up and put it with the perfect soundtrack

  • Good work

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Thank you!

  • Yes you did!

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Mad fucking Max.

  • “Workin’ on a Cheese Farm” – coming soon from Spinal Tap

  • I miss everyone seeing Satanic influences in everything. It makes me nostalgic for my childhood.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    She’s a beautiful woman.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Ahhhh the 80’s.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    At least we’re honest.

  • I’m going to have to listen to some Judas Priest backwards later.

  • And like I said, Liam Neeson is one of the most credible action heroes today.

  • I haven’t even seen ABC’s of Death. I guess I have to go back to school to watch it

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    It’s a fun watch. With 26 short films you get quite a few misses, but there are some gems in there.

  • 26? Holy shit

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    One for every letter!

  • We DID watch “Evil Dead 2” one time at junior high, lol

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    That’s a good one for debate. I think we can all agree it doesn’t belong in school, but I don’t think it’s too much for a kid 11+ to see if he’s into that kind of thing.

  • I think it was like 9th grade, end of the semester, when there was no exams anymore or anything. And in high school, a history teacher screened “The Name of the Rose” to us, I remember

  • I’m not a parent, nor will I ever be, but I’ve always thought it shouldn’t be about what movies a kid can handle. It should be what movies can a kid appreciate.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    I never saw that. I hear its good.

  • Pentagrams in tail-lights? Hah

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Yes. When my cousin was 11 I started noticing he was into offbeat stuff. My aunt let him watch Freddy Got Fingered which was his favorite movie, naturally. So one night I slipped him my VHS copy of Army of Darkness and he lost his mind for that movie. He was running around saying, “Hail to the King, baby.”

  • It’s a pentagram, on a christmas tree. Celebrating Satan Claus:
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/11/c3/2a/11c32a2e1297aa877c3799e02f3feb5b.jpg

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    I like that!

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    This is it:

  • “What the fuck, China?!!?”

  • Throw cans of soda/pop/coke whatever. It will injure and cause a distraction!

  • So, what should I tattoo over my body to overcome my fear of hghts…?

  • Parachute?

  • Roadrunner and Wile Coyote

  • But what if someone brings a can opener to school?

  • Outstanding show gentlemen. This show is my favorite tied with Imaginarium, Hey My Man, BOPX, SUK Wednesday, The Big Show and Point It At the Deck.

  • Oh yeah, that’s got Satan written all over it

  • The local police should start a cash for can openers exchange. Our streets are far too dangerous with all those can openers.

  • But the black-market importing of can openers would then skyrocket

  • So you say if we ban can openers it’s only going to take can openers away from law abiding citizens. Criminals will still use them. Interesting.

  • There’s no telling, what a devious criminal mind equipped with a quality can opener is capable of doing

  • ErnestRister

  • Now i feel a hankering for some spanish fly.

  • haha Perfect!

  • I see many sites are now claiming Tom Hardy indeed left suicide squad because of script issues. Not scheduling. They all claim it as an exclusive . Which is weird since i read it long before any of those sites wrote it. Where did i read it? I read it right after I WROTE IT !!!

    These others also all use anonymous sources . Me, I use no sources. And i still got it right.

  • That’s cause you’re the man Razz.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    More respect for Hardy for not taking the easy paycheck.

  • indeed.

  • This teacher business

  • maybe BSS is the source they are using 🙂

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    It’s absolute bullshit that she is facing pretty serious charges over it.

  • the world is going to shit….

  • I see stars. She sees a pentagram .

  • And haven’t molested me. Yet

  • Oh yea

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Yet.

  • summary

    Guy gets his dick chopped off and its a hilarious joke??

    If a guy had chopped off a girls tits and threw them in a blender, i don´t see people laughing their asses off …..

  • Im glad you guys talked about the award shows.

  • Don’t be Sweden. 😛

  • As Steve Wright said, “I’m getting a tattoo of myself over my entire body, only taller.

  • Nobody should be Sweden

  • School sucks. Teachers have always to act outraged.

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    That is awesome!

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Switzerland. Gold, nazis, mountains, neutrality.

    Sweden. Meatballs, ABBA, IKEA, COLD

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    For any of us waiting like giddy schoolchildren for the start of AICnwHK, I just read this in the old place. I just popped in the read the talkbacks regarding the announcement of the show finally starting. Very interesting read.

    Austinite understudyheroes • 10 hours ago

    According to the scuttlebut going around, the version of the show that will be aired was *completely* funded by a VSA Texas grant, in combination with the PBS affiliate deal for airing the show.

    Believe me, there are some people VERY unhappy about the whole thing. Including some at the VSA who were apparently completely unaware of the whole kickstarter thing until much later, after it was too late to do anything about.

    But don’t believe me, folks, anyone in Austin who knows anyone in those circles, please ask and then report back yourselves. This isn’t that big of a secret around town, a little digging in the right circles and you’ll hear it all easily enough. And the more of you that are able to do so, the better. Because this is a story that should be told, and it is no surprise at all that related talkbacks are being ‘disabled’ to avoid the chances of this getting out into the talkbacker community, so that people don’t start asking uncomfortable questions. Like just where did all that kickstarter money go to, exactly? And just why is Harry, who seems to have deliberately chosen to live with his ‘disability’ out of little more than laziness, now using it as an excuse to suck funds away from non able bodied artists who truly need the assistance, in order to fund his own little ego fest that was supposed to have been successfully funded already to begin with? Just for starters.

    I really wish we could get an actual investigative journalist to delve into this stuff, and uncover all this dirty laundry and print it up for the whole world to see. Because it seems that no low is too low for the self serving Harry Knowles, and the rest of the world, particularly those who still blind themselves to his transgressions, need to be made aware of just the kind of person that he truly is, in a way that is far more powerful, and indisputable, than someone just posting on a talkback forum like I am doing here.

  • Ohhhh the olde cheeto-stain just keeps on truckin’……

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    We all knew the whole thing was an underhanded way to get a backhander, but if this is true, then it’s pure blantent fraud. On either Kickstarter or this VMA Grant. I do hope this is true! lol

  • Too bad Nick already recorded the “asshole of the week”-segment…

  • Surprise that the talkback on the annoucement-article is disabled. I wonder why, lol

  • ErnestRister

    I already wrote the VSA chief executive yesterday.

    VSA Texas—The State Organization on Arts and Disability
    VSA Texas
    3710 Cedar Street #7
    Austin, Texas 78705
    Local phone: 512-454-9912
    Toll free: 1-866-489-8412
    Fax: 512-454-1944
    Celia Hughes, Executive Director

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Im glad you saw this. I thought you would be spitting feathers when you read it.

    Although sadly, I dont think KS wll have a problem with it. Hopefully the grant people will.

  • You are a champion, Ernest

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Mmmmmmmm….meatballs.

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Mmmmmm…..national stereotypes.

  • Found some more:

    understudyheroes 16 hours ago

    HOLY FUCK FUCK. Look at the invite for the “SPECIAL EVENT”

    HARRY GOT MORE MONEY FROM AUSTIN CITY.

    FACT
    1: The production team, VSA Texas and The Alamo Drafthouse are also
    pleased to announce a special event on Wednesday, February 11, 2015 at
    7:00 pm at their newly renovated location,

    FACT 2: Season One of
    Ain’t It Cool with Harry Knowles airing on KLRU-TV, Austin PBS on KLRU-Q
    on Saturday, February 7, 2015 is supported in part by the Cultural Arts
    Division of the City of Austin Economic Department as a sponsored
    project of VSA Texas, the state organization on arts and disabilities.

    I BELIEVE HE GOT A PRODUCTION DEAL DUE TO HIS DISABILITY IN HIS WHEELCHAIR.

    EITHER
    WAY SUPPORT IN PART MEANS MORE FUNDING CAME FROM PBS NO WONDER HE CANT
    TALK ABOUT SHIT. HIS SHIT IS OWNED BY VSA TEXAS WHAT EVER THAT IS…
    LET’S LOOK.

    MISSION
    VSA Texas challenges perceptions of how
    people contribute by creating an arts-inspired, inclusive community of
    individuals with diverse abilities.

    VISION
    VSA Texas is an
    expert resource on inclusive arts. We create and maintain an accessible
    and open community where everyone can participate. Our goal is to
    provide support and training to the public, enhance personal growth, and
    offer Texans access to the creative work of people with diverse
    abilities.

    PURPOSE
    VSA Texas, a 501(c) 3 not-for-profit,
    delivers excellent cultural, professional, educational and public
    awareness arts services to communities with diverse abilities.

    HOW MANY PEOPLE IS HARRY CONNING TO FUND A FUCKING VANITY PROJECT?

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Oh my, he’s playing the disability card now! Unreal lol

  • Basically all the credited funding is from PBS and VSA, so that Kickscammer money basically never existed now. If it’s not mentioned, it can’t surely exist…?

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    All this for 7!! single camera, studio set, 30 min episodes! Shit must be expensive in Austin!

  • comments are “disabled”, heh

  • Cars are. And tax debts

  • “Money laundering has never been so easy”

  • irony is so ironic sometimes

  • irony is so ironic sometimes

  • Any chance for a quick “Special asshole of the week”-segment in light of this new info, lol

  • ErnestRister

    “VSA Texas is supported in part by the Texas Commission on the Arts,
    National Endowment for the Arts/Artworks, and the City of Austin through
    the Economic Growth & Redevelopment Services Office/Cultural Arts
    Division.

    Financial Support for Opening Minds, Opening Doors is provided by the
    Texas Council for Developmental Disabilities, with Federal funds
    made available by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,
    Administration on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities.”

    Your tax dollars at work, friends.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    I’m not quite sure what you mean…

  • ErnestRister

    VSA also receives support from a host of prominent merchants such as
    Target, 3M, and JP Morgan Chase. Charities who donate to VSA include
    the Christopher and Diane Reeve Foundation.

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Just me reducing countries to national stereotypes in four words. The woolly liberal kept saying, but there’s more to those countries than that, and stereotypes don’t help anyone! lol

    I’m that sad and nice 😀

  • ErnestRister

    “Durbingle depends on me for sustenance and I upon him for companionship as I pass the long hours waiting for my big break to arrive.”

    “I think this cheese has turned. What do you think, Antoninus?”
    “That smells like Russ Tamblyn’s outerwear!”

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    *as spaceships crashes” Tell my wife…something.

  • I believe the correct term is the comments are “handi-capable.”

  • ErnestRister

    American Sniper projected to take in $105 million by Monday. Black Hat needs to gross $140-$150 million world wide to break even, only took in $4 million. Disaster for Legendary. Legendary exec complains they just didn’t see American Sniper coming and they got blindsided.

  • They got sniped

  • “neckbearded” works too

  • Yes, Switzerland. I had the Sw right.

  • Now i feel better for downloading the dvd screener.

  • ErnestRister

    Needs more firearms.

  • ErnestRister

    Bad, bad Michael!

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    He’s got a license to conceal.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Oh I know. I was joking back with an image you may not have seen. Or I just failed miserably.

  • ErnestRister

    Corey Feldman!

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Aha! The dreaded refresh was required. Yee Haww!

  • Abe

    4 million! Disaster doesn’t even describe it

  • ErnestRister

    Now call me crazy — but one would think it would be someone’s job to see something like American Sniper coming, and that person probably makes a good living and is responsible to reporting to someone whose job it is to take care to not have such an epic bomb like Black Hat. There’s an unnamed Legendary exec bitching right now that Warner Bros. intentionally downplayed their predictions for American Sniper. As if it was a conspiracy and they knew they had lightning in a bottle. Sometimes ego gets in the way, also — Disney didn’t move The Lone Ranger away from Despicable Me 2 when DM2 decided to go head to head with them, because they didn’t want to insult Verbinski and Depp, or send a signal the film was weak…families had to choose one or the other that weekend, and they went with the minions and Lone Ranger got slaughtered. I give credit for Warner Bros for moving Jupiter Ascending, giving it the best shot it can in the marketplace. People forget Titanic was delayed, also. It’s ok to change dates. Just ignore all the chattering and murmurs.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Admittedly, I love hamburgers.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

  • Stiv Bators aka Chuck Tatum

    Why isn’t the press covering this?
    I mentioned it to the Austin Chronicle, but no interest so far.

    So the kickstarter funds may have gone to Harry’s tax problems & his new car after all.

  • Stiv Bators aka Chuck Tatum

    So this is where you guys have been hiding out, it is me Chuck Tatum
    back from the dead.

  • Stiv Bators aka Chuck Tatum

    Big VSA logo on this press announcement for Harry’s vanity project premiere
    http://www.nowplayingaustin.com/event/detail/441893473

  • Stiv Bators aka Chuck Tatum

    Dick jokes always play to the base, no matter how violent.

  • Fate_Slistcrunch

    That’s what Wesley said to the IRS for years.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    WELCOME FRIEND!!!

  • Bop

    So your face invites people to talk to you, Dan, huh?
    At least you can kill the time when traveling. 🙂

  • Bop

    Write a book about your travel stories, Dan.

  • Bop

    So what happens when Channing Tatum gets the Rick Flag role?

  • Bop

    I had a female french teacher. She had a million dollar body, killer boobs, but a 10 cent face. When she came over to your table to explain some grammar she bend half over you and you could see her boobs without a bra right by your side. I never asked so many questions as during french lessons.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    I would have been jerking off like a madman.

  • Bop

    You say the States is pussified, Dan? Try Holland where anyone can terrorize you psychologically, but if you beat the shit out of such a person to teach him manners you go to jail.
    Or if someone gropes your lady and you tell him to knock it off,he continues. You beat him up and you go to jail.

  • Bop

    Not in her presence, I hope.

    But, mang, did that woman know how to strut her stuff.

  • Bop

    Dan and Nick. Do you know this documentary? Not good P.R. for religion.

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EEKJSOrctcY

  • Bop

    I know what is coming. Dick chopping.

  • Bop

    John Wayne Bobbit got nothing on that Chinese dude

  • SonOfSonOfSonOfMikePlow

    So, let me get this straight. Ater getting 128,000 dollars in donations, AICWHK then gets an organisation who funds disabled artists to contribute even more?????????
    Didnt Knowles make a grea song and dance aboyt how he was NOT part of the company or productio team and only ‘talent’??????

  • SonOfSonOfSonOfMikePlow

    VSA’s Facebookj page is at

    https://www.facebook.com/VSATexas

  • Tikkanen

    The Swedish bikini team
    The Swede (Burt Lancaster) in the film noir The Killers

  • Stalkeye

    Hah,hah! Only Nick would be the one who would have some Teacher play A Clockwork Orange in class. (Ya Cray!) “I’m sinnnging in the Rain..”

    Dan, Immediately thought of the Sleepaway camp reference, when Nick had mentioned the Curling Iron. Good Call, Sir! (Gawd, how I loathed that gimmick of a Film.)

    WTF was this episode? Batshit WImmen edition? Delirous Zealots? Dick Hackers? and Fucking Del monte Cans in Class? “Holy PMS, Batman”!!

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    We live in a world full of wonder!!

  • Stalkeye

    Sorry to hear that hardy dropped out of SS. I mean come one, this Bugger did 2 indie flicks last Year (Locke and The Drop) but can’t film his part as Flagg? WTF
    And yes, Nick Tommy’s Bane was one of the best villains of the Nolan Trilogy. A charismatic terrorist with that cool accent that was inspired from some Boxer and also part from his Caribbean roots? That’s a win, Man!

    Anyone who doubts Hardy’s acting should watch The Take. its a great British miniseries that demonstrates hardy at his most menacing but with a spark of humanity. Highly recommended.

  • Stalkeye

    it’s a Madworllllld!!

  • Stalkeye

    Oh, and if there’s one thing I can say about Christian Women, is that they are among the freakiest.

    Yes, I know this from personal experience. 😛

  • Stalkeye

    Gives a new meaning to “Chop Suey” dontcha think?

  • Stalkeye

    That’s fucked up! Bop, you need to get the hell outta there!

    They sound awfully familiar to these people;

  • Stalkeye

    He gets offed like in GIJoe Retaliation!

  • Stalkeye

    Oh, I thought it was some distorted Sid Vicious according to your Avatar.

  • Stalkeye

    Sounds like that Bitch needs an Exorcism.

  • Stalkeye

    As an agnostic, I agree with what Danny Boy said about some Christians who do a great amount of good while not promoting their belief system.

    There are plenty of good Christians out there and regardless if i question organized religion, they are doing whatever gets them through the day and that is Faith.

    Unfortunately, its always the Zealots and fanatics that get all the attention.

    That being said, here’s my favorite scene from The Mist. (0:<

  • Stalkeye

    Makes sense to me. I wished you guys could have went a bit longer with BoTW, but I’m content that you two packed so much content within 30+ mins.

    Maybe less is more after all?

  • Bop

    Good plan.

  • Bop

    It does. The dick flew out of the window chop chop

  • Bop

    I hope they praised your lord.

  • Stalkeye

    Lets just say, that some had took me closer to “Heaven”. (0:’

  • Stalkeye

    Was his name “Hung Lo” by any chance?

    Badumbumpsss

  • HEYMYDAVE

    Like the song. Worked well

  • HEYMYDAVE

    Children are most certainly the devil.

  • HEYMYDAVE

    Mike Brown, worst Super Villain of 2014.

  • A better example might be his spectacular work in BRONSON.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    “Who ordered the sum flung prik?”

  • Doesn’t Ohio have anything better to do with their judicial system? Like, you know, catching REAL criminals or something?

  • Sorry, it was not the North Star that lead the Three Wise Men to Baby Jesus (Trademark), it was a wandering star. But since ancient Hebrews were a people who had little understanding of astronomy, unlike their fellow Babylonians and Greeks, they called everything that was in the night sky as stars, even if they were planets. Which is why it has been difficult to access if the Bethlehem Star was a fictional story or based on some real natural event, and if so, if it was a comet or an alignment between Jupiter and Saturn (their combined lights can make them shine brighter and give the illusion of a new star appearing in the sky).

    Which is little importance in that the star at the top of the Christmas tree is indeed a representation of the celestial object that lead the three wise kings to the birth place of Jesus. And some idiot who sees the most common depiction of a star as an up-sided pentagram and sees in it the work of the devil??

    Actually, pentagrams as symbols of the devil is a recent myth, probably dating to the 19th century when the first mysticism craze occurred in the western countries.

  • Made even more awesome by the fact it’s Toby The Most Awesome Jones who does the deed.

  • I don’t think there is some good that comes out of religion. I’m with Richard Dawkins on that, religion is an artifact from more ignorant times which still endures for what can only be called cultural inertia. It’s past it’s validation date and it’s doing the world now just more harm and making it a worst place then it SHOULD be.

    There are good people who are religious, and on first sight one would think they validate their professed religion. However, i would rather say this people are good DESPITE being religious.

  • Dan, if you want to see the Bible in an historical and philologist prism, i strongly recommend the book Isaac Asimov’s Guide To The Bible. It’s still as relevant as when it was first published, and it’s a fantastic read. And in arts quite funny, Asimov had quite a gift for deadpan humour. I think you would love it. While it’s a big book, it’s a very easy fast read.

    http://www.asimovreviews.net/BookCoversFullSize/093omni.jpg

  • Tail-light-gate!!!

  • Chinese Love Story

    If the 21 years old girl is the mother of his five children, then if you do the maths, this guy married her while she was still a teenager when he was already an adult.

  • I don’t even know what to say about the canned goods story. As we foreigners always say: “Only in America”.

    I’d love to see Nick go Llama on his principal’s face.

  • Stiv Bators aka Chuck Tatum

    That’s Stiv….

  • Stalkeye

    Still, he looked a bit like SV. But I digress, I’m a Damned/Misfits fan anyway.

  • understudyheroes

    hey that is misattributed to me… that was Austinite … just want it for the record. Still believe it’s 100% correct.