Spinning Headlines(by Guest writer(s)) – Week 27: Cannibals, Marvel Gender-swapping, GoT S7 delayed longer for Snow(not Jon) – and more! Spinning Headlines(by Guest writer(s)) – Week 27: Cannibals, Marvel Gender-swapping, GoT S7 delayed longer for Snow(not Jon) – and more!
While the regular author continues his vacation, two furry fiends take over the Headlines column. Spinning Headlines(by Guest writer(s)) – Week 27: Cannibals, Marvel Gender-swapping, GoT S7 delayed longer for Snow(not Jon) – and more!
[Hi, this is IAB. I’m still enjoying my little R&R, but here are a couple of cool cats who stepped up to do a little guest column for the “Spinning Headlines”]
skyandollie

Satirical commentators and Trolls since 2013.

 

Sky: ‘ello you bloody sods. Now I know most of you were expecting Sir IAM Better, but unfortunately for you, he’s taking a leave of absence for the time being and filling in for “The Mighty Finn”, is The Supernaughts’ Satirical Social and Pop Culture commentators, Sky and my brother in name only, Ollie!

 

TrueBlood-6x10_Eric_Reading.w529.h529

“Somewhere in Finland…”

 

Ollie: We’re brothers alright. you’re the Loki to my Thor!

Sky: Be that as it may, but let’s cut the chit chat and get on with the recent headlines in Pop Culture, shall we?

RAW DAWG: RAW, A NEW CANNIBALISTIC THRILLER FROM CANNES HAS  CRITICS “EATING IT UP”!

4

Sky: So there’s this French Horror film called Raw (Originally titled, Grave) that has been shown at the Cannes film festival and became an instant hit to the extent of winning some prize known as the FIPRESCI International Federation of Film Critics (short for Fédération Internationale de la Presse Cinématographique)
The synopsis goes like this; “In Justine’s family everyone is a vet and a vegetarian. At 16, she’s a gifted teen ready to take on her first year in vet school, where her older sister also studies. There, she gets no time to settle: hazing starts right away. Justine is forced to eat raw meat for the first time in her life. Unexpected consequences emerge as her true self begins to emerge. “When a young vegetarian undergoes a carnivorous hazing ritual at vet school, an unbidden taste for meat begins to grow in her”.
Cannibalism at a vegetarian school? That’s rather unique for a horror film.
Ollie: Not only is the concept of cannibalism scary, but what’s even more terrifying is the idea of Human beings as some delicacy. Are you aware of how filthy they are? They can’t even naturally clean themselves!
Sky: Well, if our owners died and there was nothing left to eat in the house, what would you do Ols?
Ollie: Can’t really say. I don’t necessarily see the “Black Irish” served as “Corned beef” and you’re too damn skinny to consume!
Sky: Well look at it this way Ollie, at least you’ll finally shed those pounds while you starve to death.
20160707_065040

Ollie: I’m not fat you needledick, it’s all muscle!
Sky: Suuure…..anyway, onto the next topic
 
 
 BLACK METAL WOMAN
ironwoman

 Sky: Continuing the trend of Race Swapping Superheroes, there is speculation that Riri Williams, an African-American female may take over the role of Iron Man. Whoa, this sure to cause some controversy between the diehard fanbois and especially the home of Jim Crow and by that, I mean the bloody Red States.

Ollie: It’s either one or two things:
1.Marvel is celebrating diversity by having more Minorities and Women take on Superhero roles usually reserved for their White Male counterparts.

Or…..

2.Marvel is celebrating diversity by having more Minorities and Women take on Superhero roles usually reserved for their White Male counterparts so that they can make up for their sagging sales via pandering to other demographics. Typical bait and switch.

And speaking of “demographics”, why aren’t Cats being represented? Catwoman doesn’t really count. Sorry guys n gals.

Sky: That’s because we lack the purchasing power when compared to the “Hairless Monkeys”.

Ollie: That’s no excuse and I’m calling bullshit on Marvel’s discriminatory practices! If they can make a talking Raccoon, then why not have a Cat? I’m not only referring to a Raccoon, but a fucking Raccoon in space!! Fuck Marvel! #Cat Lives Matter, bitches!

Sky: Perhaps they’ll pander to us now that Disney has acquired the company. Just don’t hold your breath especially since you’re asthmatic. Ahem. And let’s not forget that Williams wouldn’t be the first person of colour.
IMG_7596 
Ollie: Yeah? But “he’s dead Jim”. (SPOILER ALERT!)

Sky: Next topic please…

 

WINTER AIN’T A COMING: Game of Thrones production for season 7 will be delayed.

iron-throne

Sky: So, it seems that the upcoming season of GOT will be delayed due to lack of “Gloomy weather” according to the showrunners; David Benioff and D.B. Weiss who had mentioned on a Podcast that they need to capture the aesthetics of the upcoming season which isn’t looking so “Wintery”.

Ollie: Aw, so sad. But hey, the fans can always re-watch the past seasons thanks to HBO NOW, I’m just skipping to the good parts.

Sky: Are you referring to the best battle scenes or most poignant moments?

Ollie: NO! I’m talking about the nude scenes. Cerci has a cute lil’ ass after all.

Sky: Must you always think with your Dick, you Wanker?

 
SULU IS NOW GAY, YAY OR NAY?
george-takei-not-happy-gay-sulu-star-trek-beyond

Sky: According to The Hollywood Reporter, the actor and LGBT activist George Takei, says the ‘Star Trek Beyond’ development for his character is out of step with what creator Gene Roddenberry would have wanted. Sulu is going where “no man has gone before” as in Uranus!

Ollie: Takei be like-“Oh why”? Well, I think it was a noble gesture on Actor and Screenwriter Simon Pegg’s part and…oh fuck that! It’s patronizing and like George said, “Honor him and create a new character”. Pegg hasn’t been relevant since Shaun of the Dead. (“Spaced”? What the fuck is that show all about?) and isn’t this the same guy who bitched about how too many Comicbook and Scifi Movies are ruining the industry ? After watching the trailer for “Beyond”, I’m positively certain that it’ll ruin the Star Trek franchise.

Sky: Time will tell, I guess. I know that Zachary Quinto- another openly gay actor who plays Spock in the Trek sequel, expressed disappointment with Takei taking umbrage with this revelation. Too much for him to swallow indeed. *Ahem*
Ollie: And speaking of which, here’s a little Trivia fo yo ass!

 
Now for what we would call the “Poop Scoop” of the week or as IAB would call the segments, “Spit take of the week”.
 litter box
 
NO ‘FLIX FOR YOU! SHARING YOUR NETFLIX PASSWORD IS NOW RULED AS A FEDERAL CRIME!


According to recent articles, three Supreme Court Judges ruled that sharing your password is a federal crime so in other words, if you sign in under my Netflix account to watch Daredevil, Orange is the new Black and other programs, I can be held accountable since it falls under the auspices of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.
Ollie: ………..DeathlokTearsFlag
 
Sky:  I guess that sums it all. Hah,hah you uptight Americans with all your greedy restrictions, oh well.
Ollie: So Sky, how’s that “Brexit” thing working for you limeys lately?
Sky: Oh, Fuck off you Wanker! Thanks for tuning in, for myself and the Irish drunkard, we’re out!
Ollie: But Before we we head out and because we love you fucktwits, here’s another “Poop Scoop” of the week! Pandering, be damned!!!

Author Image

Stalkeye

Stalkeye= anagram of Stalker and Snake Eyes. Satirist, Gamer, Artist and Pop Culture commentator- Stalks offers his outspoken views on on most things Geek related as well as WTF is wrong with the world today!

  • Dee-abolik

    hm, what happened to the pics…

  • I_am_better

    ???
    I see them

  • Dee-abolik

    weird, they are broken for me

  • I_am_better

    What the what?
    Can anyone else chime in? Tell us what you see.

  • I_am_better

    How about now?

  • Dee-abolik

    aaaaah now it works

  • Dee-abolik

    Agree about Pegg…he has been irrelevant for some time now. His nonsense rant about brainless infantile entertainment, followed by his ST-script featuring dirtbikes gave me the rest. He is pretty patronizing towards Takei to boot. Takei was ASKED for his opinion during production and they did not listen, by the way.

  • Dee-abolik

    That Netflix news is the same shit they tried to pull with videogames without physical copy which you can register and play on one console only.

  • Toruk_Makto

    I love George Takei. He was always hilarious and earnest when I heard him on the Stern show. He can take the raunchiest of jokes (Gay or Straight) and still be a serious and powerful advocate of the LGBT community.

    I tend to zone-out when I see anything about Star Trek these days so this whole Sulu business is actually news to me. But I’m not surprised that I whole-heartedly agree with Takei’s point. Simply because he has always shown me to have a solid degree of what is not so common any more…sense.

    “I told him, ‘Be imaginative and create a character who has a history of
    being gay, rather than Sulu, who had been straight all this time,
    suddenly being revealed as being closeted.'”

    “Be imaginative”

    A concept these pieces of shit can’t seem to get through their thick fucking skulls.
    Lazy. Disgusting. Fuck-wits.

    I said it before and I’ll say it again these people are nothing but Morlocks who would rather cannibalize the past than build a future.

    Simon Pegg…this FUCKS for you!

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Pegg is a clown. He and his buddies were going to make whatever changes they wanted, regardless – their reaching out to Takei was only a token gesture. No doubt they wanted his approval because it would have made a nice pull-quote to be used as publicity for the movie. I’m so glad he didn’t give it to them.

    Pegg’s rebuttal is also asinine. He claims that Rodenberry wanted to include homosexual characters but couldn’t because of the time Star Trek was made. So why does that justify turning an existing character – who Takei has said Rodenberry wrote as straight and whom he played straight – into a gay man or making any other arbitrary change the writers desire? Theoreticals shouldn’t come into it; Takei says Rodenberry had very precise ideas about the characters and their backgrounds. What Rodenberry would or could have done if he’d created them in another time is irrelevant.

    I guarantee that if Takei had not himself been gay and had objected to a character he’d played being made so, Pegg and his Bad Robot cronies would’ve called him out much more harshly. Perhaps even inferred he was a homophobe. Because Takei is a gay man, they have to gnash their teeth and feign “respect”.

    That’s the truth about SJWs: they don’t actually care about the minorities they claim to represent if said parties don’t agree with them. They’re intent on pursuing their agendas come hell or high water and no matter how unreasonable they may be; it’s an ego thing and a way for them to feel good about themselves. I spoke on AICN about how Zoe Saldana was attacked for downplaying her color, and how many of her attackers were white! One could also mention notorious feminist pop culture critic, Anita Sarkeesian, and her dictate that any woman who doesn’t agree with her is a traitor to the “sisterhood” and their collective mission. And Lord knows what Paul Feig and his Ghostbusters harlots think about the numerous female Vloggers on You Tube that have trashed the trailers to that movie as fervently as their male counterparts.

  • Ollie

    And here’s what Georgie did to Pegg and the producers, soon afterwards…

  • Ollie

    “Pegg is a clown. He and his buddies were going to make whatever changes they wanted, regardless – their reaching out to Takei was only a token gesture. “

    Preach it!

  • Ollie

    Yes, but with a few new tweaks added! Fucking Photoshop could not install correctly and to think I actually PAID for the license.

  • Ollie
  • Ollie

  • Dee-abolik

    Yep, that’s it. In the end, it’s also cultural appropriation, just of a different kind. Pegg seems to think he knows what Takei AND Roddenberry were thinking and he was pissed when he was wrong.

  • first time hearing about this sulu shit. I’d be mad but at this point its like
    https://media4.giphy.com/media/szoa39gBXpuEg/200_s.gif

  • Coupon: The Movie

    Nice going man. You kicked Griezmann’s ass real good.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I always thought Shaun of the Dead was overrated and I love, love, love much of Romero’s zombies. Fuck you, Pegg- boy!!!

  • Tarmac492.1

    belated congrats!!

  • Stalkeye

    As a satirical horror, I though SOTD worked great at the time.
    You have to look at it as paying homage to the legendary Romero.
    Never bothered to see the rest of Pegg’s films including Hot Fuzz since said film may be a repeat of SOTD, but giving fan service nods to Cop Buddy films as opposed to Zombies. Pegg is basically, a one trick p(h)ony. (;’