You there, peasant!
grab your buddy and toil in the mine
until she collapses.
Bring me lots of shiny jewels
to lure more unsuspecting dolts
and offer their flesh to crooked Orc blades.
Now for you,
the other uneducated twits
just loitering about in the open wilderness,
pick up those axes
and raze this vast forest of her wooden bounty!
Hey Sherman, or whatever
the fuck your name is,
go out and round up some more of your buddies.
Pay them what we pay you
which is nothing!
Phil, stop chopping trees
and go build a farm or something.
I’m going to go get a sandwich
and when i come bac I expect a decent town.
Bah, you call that a town?
upgrade the shack
we’ve been passing as a town hall
then maybe some decent mercenaries
will join up with us.
What’s that ominous
marching and killing sound off in the distance?
Damn, you fog of war?
I am blind to more
than 10 feet in front of me.
Oh well, tis probably nothing
for no fool Orc would dare tangle
with my two footmen
and one unskilled marksman.
And lo, the drums sounded
as the army of Orcs
stormed the tiny outpost.
Only a precious few
could expel a faint cry of terror
as arrows and fire poured down upon them.
None were spared.
For when the allies
the ringing militia bell,
and hurried to their brothers aide
all they found was the severed hand
which first tugged the bell.