Warcraft 3 Warcraft 3
You there, peasant! grab your buddy and toil in the mine until she collapses. Bring me lots of shiny jewels to lure more unsuspecting... Warcraft 3

You there, peasant!

grab your buddy and toil in the mine

until she collapses.

Bring me lots of shiny jewels

to lure more unsuspecting dolts

and offer their flesh to crooked Orc blades.

Now for you,

the other uneducated twits

just loitering about in the open wilderness,

pick up those axes

and raze this vast forest of her wooden bounty!

Hey Sherman, or whatever

the fuck your name is,

go out and round up some more of your buddies.

Pay them what we pay you

which is nothing!

Phil, stop chopping trees

and go build a farm or something.

I’m going to go get a sandwich

and when i come bac I expect a decent town.

Bah, you call that a town?

upgrade the shack

we’ve been passing as a town hall

then maybe some decent mercenaries

will join up with us.

What’s that ominous

marching and killing sound off in the distance?

Damn, you fog of war?

I am blind to more

than 10 feet in front of me.

Oh well, tis probably nothing

for no fool Orc would dare tangle

with my two footmen

and one unskilled marksman.

And lo, the drums sounded

as the army of Orcs

stormed the tiny outpost.

Only a precious few

could expel a faint cry of terror

as arrows and fire poured down upon them.

None were spared.

For when the allies

finally heard 

the ringing militia bell,

and hurried to their brothers aide

all they found was the severed hand

which first tugged the bell.

Author Image

coolhandjuke

when not prowling the country backroads for fat chicks, coolhandjuke can be found wasting his life in an assortment of emasculating tasks.

  • how big are orc dicks

    its…for a paper im writing

  • CoolHandJuke

    Enough to break the ice…dammit, I fucked that up…