Sex and Nintendo Sex and Nintendo
A poem on how Nintendo's machine guided me to manhood... Sex and Nintendo

I lost my virginity
The day I learned Samus Aran
Was really a woman.
Her red chrome mask,
Protecting the face of an angelic prostitute,
Slipped off
And I nearly lost my load.
Justin Bailey sat in the corner,
As I mounted the bounty hunter
From a galaxy far far away.
He kept one hand on his cigarette,
The other wrapped around his cock—
Images of a pristine Princess Toadstool
Paraded through his memory.
The way she was before she lost her cherry
And became just another Peach.
And if the uptight bitch Zelda
Had hidden the tri-force
In the warm, moist crevices of her inner thigh
Ganondorf would never find it.

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when not prowling the country backroads for fat chicks, coolhandjuke can be found wasting his life in an assortment of emasculating tasks.