xXx The Return Of Xander Cage review xXx The Return Of Xander Cage review
Bop answers the burning question if XXX Part tres is any good. xXx The Return Of Xander Cage review

I love the Fast And The Furious Franchise. It seems to be the only franchise left in Hollywood that can give me my fix of action. The brains-on-zero kind of movies. And no, I don’t put Michael Bay movies in that category. Those are brains-on-sub-zero movie.

The first xXx was crap. The only thing interesting in it was the ridiculous over-the-top furcoat xXx was wearing. The second xXx had the lovable Ice Cube in it, because Diesel bailed out. I remember that movie as being even worse than xXx if that was ever possible, despite Ice Cube being in it. And now we have arrived at a third xXx. I  was hoping Diesel had some Fast And The Furious input in this movie. So what did we get as a result?

The movie opens with fucking Neymar. One of the most unlikeable football players in the world. It was cool when Vinnie Jones and Eric Cantona were in movies. It is definitely not cool when Neymar is in a movie. The only football player of today who deserves to be in Hollywood movies is Zlatan Ibrahimovic and I think he will end up there. Needless to say I almost quit watching, because of the utter insult of adding Neymar in a movie.

If you don’t count Neymar the movie was pretty enjoyable. What they did right in this movie was definitely the casting and especially adding the following 2 people in the movie:

 

Mr Ip-Man himself, Donnie Yen

Tony Jaa

Holy shit. It’s the Blonde Rooster, I mean badass Tony Jaa.

Donnie Yen totally steals the show. He must have been involved in developing the fight choreography. I loved the action scenes,because he was seriously kicking ass.

Tony Jaa looked ridiculous, but was a funny character. He kicked some serious ass too. I am glad both actors get a bit more Hollywood love.

Other people that were absolutely funny were UFC champ Michael Bisping and the bearded guy in Diesel’s team.

The addition of Deepika Padukone must have been some serious pandering to the Indian market. I am not complaining, but it is fucking obvious. I think Deepika is great. Just check out her movie Cocktail. No, not the Tom Cruise atrocity, but the Deepika version. Deepika was pretty ok in the movie and wasn’t too much fake-ass-girl-power the way Hollywood likes to show it.

Ruby Rose I didn’t know before and she was okay too  as a trigger happy tomboy. You see, when a woman likes guns in Hollywood that means she is automatically a tomboy. Fucking idiots.

Deepika and Ruby showing shades of John Woo

 

Rory McCann was another person I was not familiar with. He was pretty funny.

Nina Dobrev surprised the heck out of me. I loathe Twilight and I also loathe Vampire Diaries. When I heard she was gonna be in it I was not happy. She was supposed to be the funny geeky girl and she did surprisingly well.

So basically they did a good casting and most of the characters were likable. Quite a feat for a Hollywood movie considering Hollywood likes to push pussy lotion boys and girly women down our throats and often as characters you would like to point an uzi at.

Was there much of a story? No, there wasn’t. Was the action excellent? Yes, it was. Was it over the top? Yes, it was, but it is xXx were are talking about.  Was there a story? Not a big one but what do you expect in action movies? There was also a big surprise in the movie which I found really cool, but I am not gonna spoil it.

I expected little from xXx, but what I got was a very entertaining brains-on-zero popcorn movie. Diesel was just being Diesel and I have no problem with that. The supporting characters were great. The action was great. Even the soundtrack had its moments. Needless to say before this movie I wasn’t interested in xXx sequels, but after this movie they can’t make enough of them if they keep up the quality like in this movie. Well done, Diesel and co.

Co.

 

 

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Bop

Bop loves all things creative and inspirational. He is a producer in the making, an athlete, a language expert, an action movie aficionado, an advocate of real girl power, and definitely a snarky smark. He might even surprise you with a thing or 2 about movies and TV.