Suicide Squad? You mean Suicide Squat. Suicide Squad? You mean Suicide Squat.
Bop does not like Suicide Squad. At all. Suicide Squad? You mean Suicide Squat.

I accepted a long time ago, that Hollywood makes movies for an as large as possible audience as possible. I also accepted that the entertainment factor wouldn’t be optimal. Needless to say I also accepted I would be witnessing serious crap. And of course I accepted that comic movies will be different from the comics themselves so I shouldn’t judge them harshly. But sometimes there are exceptions.

The lowest point in comic movies was this year’s X-Men: Apocraplypse.I never expected a comic movie would make X-Men: The Last Stand look like a masterpiece. Just when you think you saw the worst comic movie along comes Suicide Squad.

WHERE DO I FUCKING START????????

I am a big Suicide Squad fan. The 66 issue Ostrander run is in my top 3 of comic book movies ever. When I heard they were making a movie about it I was curious. Would they make it rated-R? Would it be violent? Who would play Deadshot? Would Captain Boomerang be in it? Would they cast CCH Pounder for the Amanda Waller role, because she was born to play that role? Would it become a real Expendables movies, since Stallone dropped the ball on 3 of them?

What was so good about Suicide Squad was the fact that a big part of the group were villains. They were nasty, violent, sneak, crazy etc they were not always getting along. Every mission was suspensful, because you never knew who would survive. Translating something like that to the big screen should be awesome.

Then came the characters and the casting. Will Smith as Deadshot? Are you fucking kidding me? He could never pull off Deadshot. Harley Quinn would be Margot Robbie. Not whom I would choose. Captain Boomerang was a total miscast with everyone’s favorite actor Jai Courtney. There was no way Courtney could pull off Captain Boomerang, who is the most cowardish and sneaky character in comics if you ask me. Rick Flag was totally miscast. I don’t know whose cocks Joel Kinnaman sucked, but the guy is getting a lot of roles these days, while just being the Snabba Cash guy. And they didn’t choose CCH Pounder as Amanda Waller. That was not a good start. Then they put insult to injury when they decided to make it PG-13. Now that was utter piss with a capital P. A movie like that can’t be PG-13.

So let’s go to the movie. The movie is an insult to any moviegoer that expects at least a scintilla of quality. The P.R. machine worked overtime to sell this piece of shit as a great thing. They shat all over the concept of Suicide Squad. If it were Constantine, i.e. a movie that is supposed to be a comic movie, but turned out be only a movie with a character named John Constantine in it I could live with it. Constantine was a good movie, unlike Suicide Squad. If I had paid money for that Suicide Squad shit I would have gone ballistic. The movie was shit you eat, then shit out again, then eat again, then shit out again, then eat again etc. Hollywood must be laughing their ass off because they made millions with this shit. Ok, nothing new because movies like that are a trend now, but Suicide Squad brought crap to new heights. Hollywood got a new baseline for ‘quality’ and we are in big trouble now.

There was no fucking flow in the movie. It looked like a collection of autocue scenes. Will Smith totally sucked as Deadshot. Deadshot was not menacing and unpredictable at all and he was no lunatic. He was just Fresh Prince with a helmet and some guns trying to act tough. Margot Robbie had a good Harley Quinn look but was bloody boring. All her remarks fell flat and she was not funny at all. I didn’t see any ounce of crazy in her. She was just a dumb, annoying blonde saying dumb shit all the time.

crazy

Crazy my ass.

 

Boomerang was an utter joke. Diablo looked like a character with potential, but was totally wasted. Killer Croc was just there. Katana was totally out of place and looked like a running joke in the movie. Rick Flag was not convincing at all. The fucking flashbacks were all over the place and bored me to death.
The scenes with Deadshot and his daughter was utter Disney which I severely loathe. It’s bad enough Disney is always drilling that kiddie shit in, but now Warner Brothers does it too? That disease should stop. Deadshot never gave a fuck about his son in the comics and that is why his son got killed, but in the movie he suddenly has a daughter, just added in for the bloody disgusting sweet Disney moment. FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!

diemickeymousedisney

Need I say more?

I still don’t know what the fucking movie was about. I expected some badass mission and what I got was a lousy battle with a witch somewhere in the city. Definitely reminded me of X-Men: The Last Stand and served no purpose at all. AND SINCE FUCKING WHEN WAS THE FUCKING SUICIDE SQUAD ABOUT LOVE?????????????? Fucking Hollywood. Suicide Squad was about making the world safer by any means necessary. But no, here Rick Flag loves one of the ugliest women I ever saw and wants to sacrifice everything for her. Seldom did I see such crap.

As for the Joker…. Leto is complaining that they cut out a lot of his Joker scenes. That is the only right thing they did for the fucking movie. Leto brought absolutely nothing to the table. I still don’t know what the fuck the Joker was doing in the movie. He served no purpose at all.

joker

There is only so much crap you can keep in a movie.

 

David Ayer had the gall to put his name in the credits. Written and directed by David Ayer. He should have put Alan Smithee in the credits, because he made a Z-movie. I have no interest in a sequel and thanks to the money they earned there will probably be another one. One of the best scams Hollywood ever did. Motherfuckers. And to add, another action movie franchise gone down the toilet.

SONY DSC

 

I am glad I have tv shows that still deliver good entertainment. After this Suicide Squad,that should be called Suicide Squat because it delivered diddly squat, I hate Hollywood even more. Not because they screwed up Suicide Squad, but because they continue to deliver crap movie after crap movie. You are not getting my motherfucking money any time soon, bitches.

And geeez, is Cara Delevingne ugly. She makes Tori Spelling look like the most beautiful woman on earth. A starving actress could have used the money better than that talentless trust fund troll.

ugly

Just look at that mug.

 

Check out Dee’s review for a more favorable perspective on the movie.

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Bop

Bop loves all things creative and inspirational. He is a producer in the making, an athlete, a language expert, an action movie aficionado, an advocate of real girl power, and definitely a snarky smark. He might even surprise you with a thing or 2 about movies and TV.

  • Dee-abolik

    Well, I obviously disagree… some points of your criticism I cannot really fight though, as I don’t know the source material.
    But you are dead wrong about Delenvigne! She’s rough around the edges, but that’s the appeal.

  • Bop

    We agree to disagree. ๐Ÿ™‚ The movie sucked all energy out of me. ๐Ÿ™‚
    I wanted to love it with all its flaws, but that was an impossible task.

  • Toruk_Makto

    so you say they get it right in the comics. But it also sounds like they kill characters left and right.
    How do they make that work? Do they continually bring in new characters each issue?

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Yeah, I’m somewhere in the middle. The decision to use supernatural enemies was a mistake; Joker and his private army should’ve been the target of the SS’s mission. It would’ve made things more grounded and gritty. Having anonymous, possessed people as adversaries is a cop-out because it meant that the violence could be easily sanitized and it reminded me too much of the bland enemies in both Avengers movies (alien and robot armies).

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    She has a weird, pug-like face but I wouldn’t shun her advances. Not after a few drinks anyway. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • KilliK
  • KilliK

    they are playing it safe, just like Marvel. it’s a PG13 movie made to sell toys to kids. they are the bad guys but they wont kill people.

  • KilliK

    it’s those caterpillars on her forehead. I wonder if they are sentient.

  • Dee-abolik

    they want to be cuddled

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    You need alcohol-impaired vision to make her doggie face appear halfway-decent!

    http://animalia-life.com/data_images/pug/pug7.jpg

    Cara Delenvigne

    http://rise.gr/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Cara-Delevingne-tongue-.jpg

    A Pug

    …Nah, just kidding. ๐Ÿ˜‰ She’s an acquired taste, but when she’s not pulling those stupid faces she can be quite hot. Would bang.

  • KilliK

    LOL. at least she doesnt seem to take herself too seriously. that’s a good thing for a woman.

  • Well since I’m feeling up to it, I’ll be seeing this on Monday. At a matinee. No senior discount. Yet.

  • Jen ๐Ÿ’•

    I havn’t seen it, and definitely will – but I dont care about whether I agree or disagree afterwards – u have an exceptional way of expressing ur take in such a real way – dug it!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ x

  • Iv’e always said that CCH Pounder would’ve been great for a live action Waller. Anyone who has seen both The Shield or the Justice League series, would know exactly what the fuck I’m you and i are talking about.
    Nothing against Viola Davis, but the producers chose her because she was the “Flavor of the Month” sorta speak. Anyway, for your amusement..

  • From time to time, yes.

  • Fret “naught” Steffy, for I shall read your counterpoints as well.

  • I have no problem with a Chick having thick eyebrows (Emily Clarke, Game of Thrones) but she does look kinda busted. Props for the comparisons between her and the Pug. Pugs are ugly motherfuckers but cute at the same time like my ex girlfriend’s doggy, “Tilly”.

  • Cute ass at least.

  • Now that’s what I call, love! (;’

  • “And geeez, is Cara Delevingne ugly. She makes Tori Spelling look like the most beautiful woman on earth. A starving actress could have used the money better than that talentless trust fund troll.”
    LMMFAO
    https://courtingtheacademy.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/ryan.gif

  • Love the rant! Bop be like..

  • Bop

    Those ‘a few drinks’ must be at least 2 digits. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Bop

    Busted? LMMFAO.

  • Bop

    Watch at your own risk. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Bop

    Bummer about the no senior discount. The way I see it this movie should have been shown for free. Let us know what you think.

  • Bop

    What Stalkeye said. From time to time. Most missions or adventures take a few issues. Ostrander made it really work.

  • Bop

    Joker and a private army would have been a much better idea.

  • Bop

    Love for movies, yes.

  • Shouldve had Viva Blanca instead, she’s not doing anything as of recent.
    She’s way cuter and could bring it as a supervillian! Amirite?

  • Bop

    The thing is I was always a bigger DC fan than a Marvel fan and it pains me that DC and Warner dropped the ball on Suicide Squad.

  • Bop

    She definitely showed shades of the tough Amanda in The Shield.

    Viola Davis was awful. Nothing Amanda Waller about her.

  • <–Marvel fan here, but love some of the DC stuff and how could you fuck up an original concept like Suicide Squad? They should have hire Ostrander as a technical consultant.But "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” they wanted to ape Marvel’s shit. BvS, Killing Joke and now this?? It doesn’t bode well for the DCFU.

  • Toruk_Makto

    Interesting..and pretty ballsy for a comic series. Is there like a suicide squad death list online I could check out?

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    They’re definitely playing it safe. Did you hear about all the stuff they cut out of the movie to make it family-friendly? I think that info has been out there for a while but I didn’t read it until after I’d seen the film.

    * Harley and Joker’s abusive and one-sided relationship – including scenes of physical violence – cut down to make it appear as a typical love story between two twisted but devoted romantic partners.

    * References to Slipknot being a serial rapist cut out.

    * Capt. Boomerang’s racist and sexist attitudes, especially towards Katana, completely removed.

    * Scenes which depicted Killer Croc as more disgusting and bestial, such as vomiting up half-digested goat carcasses.

    And a lot of other things besides. Basically, the original cut showed the characters as true villains who didn’t like each other, but the re-edits conspired to shave off all the rough edges and make them appear simply as “sympathetic” anti-heroes. The studio made sure that the audience wouldn’t be troubled by any ambivalent feelings toward these nasty characters, and that in the story itself, the members of the Squad wouldn’t bear similar mixed emotions toward each other, either.

    Damn cowards.

  • KilliK

    wow, it’s even worse than what they did to Warcraft. apparently, the studio wanted to make the movie less dark and the villainous characters more sympathetic. and I knew they were too chickenshit to show Joker raping/torturing Dr Harleen as it was hinted in the first trailer. fucking cowards.

    I wonder if they will allow for a full R cut when the BR comes out, like they did with BVS.

  • KilliK

    mmm, noice.

  • I have mixed feelings. I didn’t hate, but I didn’t really like it either. Mostly I see it as a wasted opportunity. Deadpool is still the top comic book movie for me this year.

  • <–working on his take of the film at the moment.
    BTW whatever happeend to your Imaginarium Podcast?
    Are you taking a long sabbatical or somethin'?

  • I’m convinced that she’s not so bad after all.
    But the Movie Fuglied her ass up! Ah, the wonders of makeup.

  • Recording a new show on September 1st. Took an extended hiatus for health and burnout,

  • Bop

    I agree it was a wasted opportunity. DP is probably my fave comic book movie of the year too.

  • Bop

    Looking forward to your article.

  • Bop

    Viva Bianca should have been Ms Marvel. She would be a great Ig’nea too. Maybe even a good Outlaw.

  • Bop

    Bloody hell. That list shows they neutered the whole spirit of the Suicide Squad. Cowards indeed. That fucking Disneyfication should stop.

  • Bop

    Ostrander should have written the whole script and not some Hollywood hack.

  • Ayer did a fantastic job with both Training Day and Sabotage. That’s why I was a bit disappointed in his treatment of Suicide Squad.

  • It’s still in the works and it’s a BEAST!