Star Wars: The Force Awakens (From My POV) Star Wars: The Force Awakens (From My POV)
Stalkeye takes a look at the Good, the Mediocre and the Bad of the new "Star Wars" movie in his spoiler-heavy review. Star Wars: The Force Awakens (From My POV)


After the much anticipated follow up to George Lucas’ greatest opus, now owned by the folks of Disney, Star Wars: The Force Awakens is the 7th chapter of the highly successful series that coined the term “Space Opera”. However, was The Force Awakens, a force to be reckoned with or like an alarm clock that should awaken those who may fall asleep on this JJ Abrams- directed sequel (or more like “sequoot”)?

you better recognize!!

Before delving into this “Fair and Balanced” review, I have to let you know upfront that there are spoilers! So if you haven’t seen Episode 7 as of yet, turn away or as Obi one would say- “Run Luke run!”

At the start of the film we are treated to a very familiar theme as well as the infamous text crawl which covers a new resurgence of the Sith but this time they are known as the 1st order lead by a dark cloaked Sith-esque warrior called Kylo Ren played by Adam Driver of HBO’s Girls. Yeah, that series…


Their sole purpose is to bring order to the galaxy but first, they must locate and kill Luke Skywalker who has gone missing after a certain student from his “Jedi Academy” had destroyed his foundation. But who dares to stand in the Order’s path of destruction and tyranny, why, it’s the Resistance of course! (Many will compare as the new Rebel Alliance since it’s actually the goddamn same thing!)


Anyways, while on the planet Jakku, Poe Dameron (Played by Oscar Issac) the pilot of the resistance has retrieved a totem-like device that will give details of Luke’s whereabouts however, the order’s newly outfitted Stormtroopers have captured the pilot and massacred the nearby inhabitants.

the gang

Now everything was going great until the plot had taken a sudden nosedive when one of the Stormtroopers, FN-2187…


… or as Poe would refer to him as “Finn”,  becomes this sort of conscientious objector and refuses to fire upon the citizens of Jakku. However, this noble act does not go unnoticed as Kylo Ren gives Finn that “Oh no he didn’t” look.


Normally for failing to comply with a superiors orders, one would be court martialed but in the Empire’s… I mean, First Order’s case, he was summoned to have his weapon checked and resume his duties as a hardened Stormtrooper. Big mistake!

Finn decides to free the captured Poe and informs the Resistance pilot that he’s going to help him escape. Instead of questioning the Stormtrooper’s motives, Poe is more than happy and embraces Finn like some fucking college fraternity brother.

"Its a trap" or just crap?

“Its a trap” or just crap?


Although many would justify the familiar scenarios based from A New Hope as a means of introducing the up and coming generation to Star Wars, there’s still enough potential left in my opinion that would make TFA stand apart as its own film when it comes to originality just like the forgettable Phantom Menace. That being said, its not my kind of Star Wars and feels more commercialized and lacking the magic from the original trilogy.


TFA’s saving grace besides the fantastic aerial combat sequences would be newcomer actress Daisy Ridley who plays the semi-stoic scavenger Rey who is revealed to have certain “traits” that can help turn the tide in the Resistance’s favor.


Jon Boyega comes off a bit too much like Will Smith’s Captain Steven Hiller from 1996’s Independence Day, thanks to the silly bravado and banter. I for one don’t mind a black character as a co-lead in a Star Wars film but you got to at least make him as cool as Lando Calrissian or the enigmatic as Mace Windu, Finn comes off like some buffoon in certain ways. “Whoooo”? Fuck you!

Affirmative Action Lightsaber for Newbs!

Affirmative Action Lightsaber for Newbs!


There’s actually a scene in which he tells Poe that he’s really a sanitation guy but sometime afterwards, Finn holds his own against Kylo Ren (A former student of Luke Skywalker !!) via a grueling saber battle. Finn is a garbage man yet he nearly wiped the floor with Kylo’s ass?!?

Now unless Luke’s lightsaber is akin to Mjolnir, Thor’s hammer, I’m calling bullshit on that scene. It was more feasible for Rey to overcome Ren since she was not only savvy with her spear, but of course later on during the film, she discovers that the Force is strong with her.

There are many of us, who are left wondering if she’s an offspring of the great Skywalker who she actually found at the end of the film. What is the correlation?

I found Rey’s long overdrawn pause with her handing the saber over to Luke unintentionally comical  if not pretentious and it’s funny how Luke just happens to stand there atop a mountain while starring in the sky all this time.

Kylo Ren’s arc was more focused on “family squabbles” as opposed to his explanation of how he joined the First Order and his master Snoke is a third rate Palpatine. Nothing really menacing about him. Also Han being killed off in such a melodramatic fashion seemed as if it was thrown in for shock value, but it was handled somewhat efficiently, especially compared to Captain Kirk’s demise from that wretched Star Trek: Generations movie.

What’s sad is how Poe has taken a backseat to the other protagonists-Finn and Rey. I thought Isaac would share a considerate amount of screen time and despite that silly escape scene, he was likable and could’ve easily led alongside the aforementioned protagonists. It should have been a trio instead of what was presented here.


“Holy Backseat Pilot, Batman”!


Speaking of wasted characters, I really had high hopes for Captain Phasma, the Stormtrooper’s field commander. I dig the actress Gwendoline Christie who played her (“Brienne” in Game of Thrones) and I love the chrome armor. Phasma looks totally badass just like Boba Fett. And like Fett, she was much underused and came off like some flunky for the first order.


I was hoping she would put up a fight when confronted by the Resistance group, but instead she “helps” Solo and the group via lowering the Starkiller shield and in doing so thwarts the Order’s grand scheme. What good is the First Order if your subordinates can’t follow direct orders? Even the major villains’ from G.I.Joe: Rise of Cobra were more established via back stories and that movie sucked ass as big as Kim K’s!



"They see me rollin, and they be hatin.."

“They see me rollin, and they be hatin..”


Aside from these gripes, I was impressed with the special effects and action cinematography.

The Tie fighters with the sunset as a backdrop stands out and especially the dogfight inside Starkiller base is one of the film’s greatest assets.


“Starkiller base” looks awfully familiar, hmmm now where have I seen that before?


Overall, The Force Awakens is a decent effort that with enough adjustments could’ve been worthy of all the hyperbole it has received. It’s heavily flawed due to its paint-by-the numbers method as in “been there, seen that” and lack of story depth and character development regarding “Captain Phasma”. However, there may still be enough left to enjoy.


The hardcore fans will eat it up and in my opinion, it’s somewhat superior to Lucas’ first two prequels which ain’t really saying much.

Disney Studio Exec: "There's something missing here.."

Disney Studio Exec: “There’s something missing here..”

"Ah, that's more like it"!

“Ah, that’s more like it”!


Stalks, out!

Author Image


. Satirist, Gamer, Artist and Pop Culture commentator- Stalks offers his outspoken views on on most things Geek related as well as WTF is wrong with the world today!

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Spot-on, Stalks. While I kind of enjoyed myself, it was a hollow and frustrating experience. It’s a decent little “pew pew” movie, but a sorry continuation of the Star Wars story.

  • Agree so much about Boyega. A step down from Lando and even Windu.

  • Toruk_Makto

    Solid Review.
    When this first came out and everyone was fellating the film I really thought I was in bizarro world for a minute there.
    Then the JJ effect started to wear off and the universe began to balance itself out again.
    One rotten tomatoes critic who initially gave the film a positive review posted an article basically reversing his opinion. Too funny.

  • CoolHandJuke

    “From my point of view the Jedi are evil!” – a better Star Wars movie

  • Kirk died by having a bridge fall on him. Han Solo was dropped from a bridge. Lesson to be learned: if you are a galactic hero, avoid bridges!

  • It depends where you are looking for the reviews. Yeah, RT does give the movie a high ranking, and so does IMDB. But if you read the comments sections, you realize the opinions are split exactly in half and right from the beginning. There are as many negatives as positives. And i suspect some of the positives will be reserved sometime soon. Also, if we read many of the positives, they are very appologetic and full of “buts” and “despites”, as if they were trying to convince themselves to like the movie, which is a peculiar thing.

  • Rose-Rey

    Good to get your opinion, Stalks. Phasma was wasted, which was a shame. I am sure she’ll get to be a badass next time out though!

  • I like me some Daisy Ridley

  • Since Jar Jar is not involved in writing and directing the next movie, chances are good.

  • Rose-Rey

    Happy New Year, Asi!

  • Rose-Rey

    She’s pretty darn amazing.

  • Toruk_Makto

    Oh I know. I’ve been slugging it out for days (imdb, youtube). But I was fighting alone. Then suddenly I turned around and people were there swinging with me yelling ‘This movie is bullshit!’. It was touch and for awhile there.

  • Toruk_Makto

    It’s funny that people who have never posted a review before said they felt they had to post a review (negative) because of the massive fawning that was going on. Almost like the world had been inhabited by pod people and they felt they had to fight for their individuality. Quite the crazy social event this has been.

  • Scopedog

    We may disagree on some things Asi…but I’m in complete agreement with you on this! May she have a long and productive career.

  • Scopedog

    Good review, Stalkeye. While I ended up liking the film quite a bit…I don’t think it’s perfect. There are flaws (and dammit, I wish Poe was in it longer), but…I enjoyed it. You are right about Daisy Ridley–she’s damned good in this. I liked John Boyega–sure, Finn isn’t Mace or Lando, but he sure as s*@! isn’t Jar Jar Binks!

    Very interested to see what comes next with Rian Johnson on Episode VIII–if he’s got a character saying, “I wanna see the Pin” that will be sooo worth it.

  • Happy New Year for you too, Rose.

  • Oh you know, first it’s the fawning boys, and then the cooler heads arrive later.

  • Orcus

    She is pretty awesome

  • Orcus

    Orcus can’t call it a reboot since it continues the story and Orcus can’t call it a remake since the motives of the character are different that from their OT analogs. What drove Vader, are not the same motives of Kylo Ren. In Ep IV, the Empire pretty much wrote off the Jedi and was not a consideration for Vader until Obi Wan popped up. Until then, he just wanted to bring order to the Galaxy. For Kylo Ren, the hunt for Skywalker and continuing Vaders work (which was never really explained) was his. Luke in the OT just wanted something more out of life than the drudgery of a moisture farm, Rey was basically dumped there and is waiting for her family to show up. Poe gets compared to Han due his brashness and piloting and nothing else, Finn really does not have an OT counterpart that Orcus can think of.

    Is it a recycle of ANH tropes? Yep. Just when it starts getting a bit to familiar it takes a left turn, like when Indiana Jones reaches for his gun in ToD and the gun isn’t there, but a whole movie of that. The character archetypes seemed to be transposed onto other characters, in an ironic twist Han has attributes of ANH Obi Wan, imparting wisdom, giving Rey a weapon and his death at the hands of the baddie.

    It’s Nu Star Wars and it works.This movie is the SW equivalent of sex, even when it’s bad, it’s good, but when it hits the right spots, ohhhh myyy.

    As far as Finn holding his own with a lightsaber, remember even in the opening crawl, the First Order is gunning for Luke, that hand to hand combat against a lightsaber might be part of their training. This was evidenced by the riot trooper (or whatever) that had the lightsaber resistant weapon.

  • Milk is for Closers

    The acting was all great. No argument there.

  • Milk is for Closers


  • Toruk_Makto
  • Toruk_Makto
  • Stalkeye

    As far as Finn holding his own with a lightsaber, remember even in the opening crawl, the First Order is gunning for Luke, that hand to hand combat against a lightsaber might be part of their training. This was evidenced by the riot trooper (or whatever) that had the lightsaber resistant weapon.”

    Yeah, but Finn was just a Garbage Man.

    It’s a “sequoot” as in a sequel rebooting SW for a up and coming generation with familiar tropes and scenarios.

    Ol Georgie critiqued the film for being “retro” as in bringing nothing really new to the table.

  • Stalkeye

    Thanks, Scopo. Happy New Year BTW!
    And yes, nothing is as bad as Jar-Jar Binks, ergo I did mention that TFA was better than both Phantom Menace and The Clone Wars in certain ways.

  • Stalkeye

    To be honest Ro, I really wanted to like this film but unfortunately, the regurgitated scenarios and potentially great characters poorly utilized couldn’t convince me to appreciate Abrams’ effort. There were some things I liked about TFA and had the story been further tweaked, yes you can count me in as a fan.

    We’ll see what happens in the sequel and whether or not the new trilogy will sway my opinion. (0;’

  • Stalkeye

    Ah Asi, “that train is never late”. (;’

  • Stalkeye

    Damn, The big “G” put Disney on blast.

    “White Slavers”? WTF

  • Stalkeye

    “It’s a decent little “pew pew” movie, but a sorry continuation of the Star Wars story.”

    I couldn’t have said it better myself, Nikolai.

    My Friends and I were left very disappointed but TFA had its share of good moments.

  • Rose-Rey

    Lots more to come! I just want the DVD in my greedy mitts!

  • Connienallen3

    ❝my neighbor’s stride mother is making 98$ HOURLY on the internet❞….

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  • Err… Carrie Fisher’s animatronic wasn’t all that believable, if you ask me.

  • CoolHandJuke

    I could force choke her for hours…

  • Orcus

    But if you suck cock hard enough, you can beat your moms record

  • Orcus

    You can be in the US Army and still peel potatoes, basic training is still basic training no matter what you wind up doing.

    Looking at the larger picture, this movie might be the Goodwill Ambassador to get folks back into the SW fold, playing all the greatest hits as it were, just to get everyone jazzed up for the upcoming movies.

  • Toruk_Makto

    Yeah, I remember awhile back when they were posting articles trying to get everyone to think he was ‘Happy’ about all this. Nope!

    George was like I’m not into this Retro bullshit. I may not make ‘great’ shit but at least I make new shit.

  • Kylo Ronin

    Pretty good review, mang.

  • That and he was the “garbage man” on Starkiller base in which there seems to be some passage of time since he was there. If he’s on Jakku gunning down villagers (or hesitating to do so), he’s obviously been assigned different duties since then and trained in combat situations even outside any basic ‘trooper training.

  • Scopedog

    Happy New Year to you, buddy! All the best for 2016 and keep cranking out these great posts.

    Me, I started the year off with a bang: (yeah, it’s got nothing to do with Episode VII, but I’ve always gotta plug my own artwork!)

  • I don’t think being retro and having callbacks in story or theme means it’s any more or less a reboot. It’s similarities with ANH simply defined what the DNA of a Star Wars movie is going forward; a familiarity in themes, style, and characterizations. It’s what Star Wars really needed in terms of a point for future creatives to build onto it in episode 8 and 9, and equally important if future trilogies are being considered (of course they are). If Episode 7 was outlandish from everything that came before it, it would put Rian and Collin at a disadvantage. They’d no longer be building on Star Wars’ vision, but an original vision from JJ Abrams and Kasden. TFA was masterful in inoculating the franchise from a lot of future missteps by clearly defining Star Wars’ tropes and making them essential to the franchise. TFA wasn’t a copy of ANH, it was an acknowledgement that ANH is the original blueprint for the Star Wars universe.

  • I don’t want to wait!

  • Bull. There are enough SW- tropes outside the Death Star and a freaking whole storyline to convey the SW- feeling. Funnily enough, the movie has almost zero SW- feeling if you subtract the plump showing off of corner posts like the old actors and the old ships. Also, Lucas already tried to emulate ANH with Episode 1 and went painfully wrong.
    And, even if there really was a justifiable reason why one should imitate Ep IV to a T (and there is none), one could still ask why it was done so shoddily.

  • Orcus

    If he messed up in the past and then was put on garbage duty for a while and then got put back in the field this would make sense. But it was mentioned that he messed up for his first time on Jakku. Orcus must be missing something…

    Orcus will be getting the novelization and one of the newer SW titles that covers the characters histories so hopefully that might shed some light

  • You drew that?

  • Jasminecgivens4

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    A few days ago new McLaren F1 subsequent after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a day ..with extra open doors & weekly paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn More right Here
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  • Stalkeye

    Fuck yea!

  • Stalkeye

    Thanks, Roni!

  • Stalkeye

    That still doesn’t explain why he was able to hold his own against a top ranking leader who was trained by Luke Skywalker and is mentored by this new “Galactic Emperor”, Snoke.

    Also, one would think that the First Order would be very unforgiving if a soldier as in Finn’s case, would not comply with Kylo’s directives. WTF, they needed a Token Black Stormtrooper in order to promote equality while meeting their quota?

    Fuck that Shit!

  • Stalkeye

    That’s why Darth is so badass, you fuck up and there’s no margin for error or compromise whatsoever!
    Just ask this guy…

  • Stalkeye

    Dayum!! Excellent handiwork as always, Scopo!

  • Stalkeye

    That’s me Boyo, Scope!

    I knew him since the good ol days of AICN and not only is he a damn good artist but is a fellow expert of Anime.

    Here’s just a sample of his amazing portfolio!

  • Stalkeye

    One of the few saving graces of TFA IMO. (;’

  • Stalkeye

    No doubt I will watch it again (Blu Ray or streaming release) to see if I overlooked anything that may have made a impact on my judgement call but the way it stands now, it “Coulda been a contender”.

  • Stalkeye
  • Great stuff!

  • Orcus

    If there was one lesson to be taken away from SW:TFA it is that just because your wife wants you to do something, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea

    #Handiedfirst, #Bitchdoyourowndirtywork #Ihadeverythingundercontroluntilyouledmedownhere

  • KilliK

    Fisher was a zombie in the movie. btw, did they CGI her face to look a bit younger and prettier? it was too smooth for a makeup and its motion was awkward while she was talking.

    Ford was also half-sleepwalking in the entire movie, he was a lot livelier in KOTCS. and his character being more of a spoof this time, didnt make things better.

  • KilliK

    well said.

  • KilliK

    actually, Darth Vader is a pussy. A cyborg with super-powers, killing defenseless mortal humans doesnt make him badass, but rather a coward bully.

  • KilliK

    I hope we see her in a nicer outfit which empasizes better her beauty, and not in those ugly rags. Uncle George gave us Fisher in a bikini and Portman in tight leggings, I dont want the new heroine of the SW to look like a beggar for the rest of the trilogy.

  • KilliK

    dont bet on that.

  • KilliK

    heh, my first comment to my friend when I saw the scene.
    “It’s Kirk, all over again” but while the ST fans hated Kirk’s death scene, the SW celebrate Ford’s similar scene as heroic. what the fuck?

  • KilliK

    nice review, Stalk, I agree with most of your points.

    now we wait for Turd to upload his own, he has finished it but the site’s downtime happened.

  • KilliK

    sorry, Uncle George, I love ya and you are right about everything, but: (DeNiro voice)

    you bleeeewww it, you blew it.

  • It should be all fixed now, I hope he notices

  • KilliK

    but werent IJ and SW, retro movies with better production values and a script which took its material and pulp genre more seriously?

  • KilliK


  • KilliK

    well, his sex orgy marathon with teenage babysitters ends tomorrow, so he should.

  • livin’ the life

  • I thought it might be a soft focus filter

  • Toruk_Makto

    Soft focus filter…that’s what that was. I knew something was a little ‘off’ about her face.

  • Toruk_Makto

    I have to disagree with that…Darth Vader may be an asshole and a Bully…but not a pussy
    Anakin Skywalker never backed down from anybody (going strictly by the movies, haven’t watched all the clone wars).
    Unless there’s a story somewhere indicating differently he didn’t give a shit whether you had force powers or not. It was his world, you were just living in it.

  • Toruk_Makto

    I believe in the context he uses it he meant he didn’t want to retread on old stomping grounds. Or more specifically they wanted to do reboot/remake which probably blew George away (and made him throw up in mouth a bit).

    It’s a situation where you have someone (A Hack) who doesn’t know how to create something new vs someone (A creator) who does.

    George was probably flabbergasted. “I can create new ships, new characters, new worlds, new weapons just sitting on the toilet and you Jabroni’s want to do a reboot??…no thanks”.

    When a creative person creates something new they aren’t just pulling stuff out of thin air they’re pulling it from all over the place. Ancient history, modern events, friends, neighbors, dreams (TV Shows, Movies, Books…most of us try to consciously avoid this but the subconscious is a real bitch )…everywhere. You pull from things that exist to create things that don’t exist.

    For instance: I’ve had this idea for a quirky, autistic-like general floating around in my mind for awhile now. But I’ve been piecing him together from different sources My Father, Genghis khan…Theodore Roosevelt…and an old neighbor of mine.
    That’s right.

    This middle-aged Indian woman used to stand outside of her apartment door staring at it for hours. Fucking creepy. She always seemed to do it when I needed to got out. Anyway, I figured it would be a unique character attribute to have my general do something similar…only he would be formulating these amazing battle strategies when he was in this state.
    Creating new stories is a lot like creating children…yeah they are a combination of their parents. But that combination creates a new unique human being.
    One of the many problems with what they did with the Force Awakens is that they didn’t pull from a diverse enough gene-pool. They basically performed incest. As a result they created this mongoloid child.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    The site/submission process still appears to be quite bug prone and often isn’t connecting. Where has the publish option on the dashboard disappeared to?

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Don’t worry, I’ve delayed my orgiastic pleasures to bring you my review – if I can get the damn thing working!

  • Zed

    It was handled better than Kirk’s demise, but yeah, it’s the same in principle. “Highest paid cast member? No plot armor for you!”

  • Right at the moment, Puck is fixing some things…

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Sadly, it won’t happen. Any tight outfit will automatically be deemed sexist by the SJWs, and these movies are all about appeasing that crowd.

    Apparently, notorious Gamergate feminist, Anita Sarkeesian, recently watched her very first Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens, and praised it lavishly. I wonder why?

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Okay, thanks. Hope the kinks get worked out soon.

  • Zed

    This is why people don’t take the critics seriously anymore. They used to either hate everything (Siskel) or love everything (Ebert). Now they have to see which way the wind is blowing before daring to publish an opinion.

  • Puck was unavailable during the holidays, I hope he does his magic now.

  • Toruk_Makto

    Yeah, and you just know he wasn’t the only one. The whole situation really ticks me off. You have people basically giving the movie a pass because it’s called Star Wars…and that’s just dishonest.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    What would we do without him? 🙂

  • Zed

    I seriously do wonder why. Doesn’t she know that featuring a thin and attractive woman is now sexist and fat shaming? Disney better cut out the flirting with Finn in the next movie. That is way too heteronormative. And why are all the main characters humans? Totally insensitive to trans-species viewers. There should be a warning on the poster.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    LOL. Obviously, the fact that Rey was depicted as a flawless and capable “Mary Sue” met with her approval, but one could easily take another stance and argue that the “Mary Sue” archetype is extremely patronizing, one-dimensional and sexist to women in and of itself.

    It all goes to show how self-serving, inconsistent and contradictory these agenda-pushers’ positions are. No sane, rational person would accept them.

  • Zed

    Sarkeesian is a grifter and professional victim. I wouldn’t expect her position or views to ever be consistent.

    The thing with Rey is a bummer. She doesn’t really become a Mary Sue until the second half of the movie. My friends and I actually groaned at the mind trick scene.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    I’m really disappointed that George felt the need to apologize for his comments. You really can’t say anything at all in today’s kid gloves-culture. The PC fascists rule the world now.

    It’s also pathetic that the media picks out and blows up what was obviously intended to be a throwaway, tongue-in-cheek remark from a near hour long interview where Lucas says some very insightful and interesting things. Sick of their superficial bullshit. It’s no wonder JJ Abrams is the perfect director for these shallow times.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    “She doesn’t really become a Mary Sue until the second half of the movie.”

    I wouldn’t say so: she was super-powered from the very start. She beat the shit out of groups of attackers with her staff like a Bojutsu master and expertly piloted the Falcon on her first try despite never having flown a ship before (presumably), deftly outmaneuvering trained pilots.

  • Darth Doomcock

    I haven’t seen (and won’t see) the movie, but wasn’t there some moment where she schools Han Solo on the Falcon? If that’s so, how can anyone stomach it? Kind of like the reason I had to stop watching Doctor Who, I couldn’t stand how it became the Jenna Coleman show…she was everywhere, she was under the child Doctor’s bed, on and on and fucking on…Mary Sue x 10!

  • Zed

    Lucas will pay the price for his lack of vision.

  • Zed

    I wouldn’t say she schools him. More like finishes some of his sentences about engine components, like maybe she had been helping her boss restore it or something. I’d give Jar Jar the benefit of the doubt and suggest there’s a deleted scene which explains her impressive and detailed knowledge of how the Falcon works, but deep down we know there isn’t.

  • Toruk_Makto

    I think there is some book are comic or lost scene that says she worked/works for the junkyard guy. I’m fine with people being good at stuff. They screwed up with Rey by not knowing when to stop.

    Okay she is a skilled mechanic.
    Okay she is an awesome pilot that can fly the falcon better than anyone we’ve seen yet.

    But like some socially awkward coworker at an office party the fuckers didn’t know when to quit and kept piling new shit on.
    Oh and she can do this too! And this! And this! And don’t forget about…

  • KilliK

    also she could effortlessly climb and explore the gigantic interior of the SD derelict, had engineering skills and knew how to fix MF’s broken engine and she was very efficient with her blaster shooting despite being a novice with guns.

    Also, the leaked script had a chase with speeders throughout the desert, obviously a ripoff of the similar sequence in ROTJ, in which she manages to escape her pursuers by throwing their vehicles into rocks thanks to her driving skills. that scene didnt play in the movie, but I am pretty sure it is indeed in the original script and we ll finally get it in the next movies.

  • Dennis O’Keefe

    So? Luke had never flown an X-Wing before, yet blows up the Death Star. Became a crack shot with blasters as evidence by him expertly shooting the door panel to bar Vader, and taking out storm troopers in the Death Star. Isn’t he a Marty Sue?

    Or maybe it’s just that Rey is strong with the Force like Luke was? Nah, that can’t be it.

  • Zed

    In the next movie, she is confronted in an alley by new elite stormtroopers with slightly different armor (availiable now at the Disney Store). She flippantly tries a mass Jedi mind trick, but it doesn’t work on them. She smiles. “Hmm… upgrades.”

  • KilliK

    yeah, when Neo uttered that, it was that moment when I realized the sequels wouldnt be as good as the original. the W threw out of the window all the rules they established in their first movie.

  • KilliK

    yes, there is that scene in the movie. in fact Solo was so impressed with her, that she invited her to become their new crew member. after knowing her for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES.

    and the best thing? after his death, she takes the MF and flies it like it was her own from the beginning, while Chewie becomes her co-pilot. uh-huh.

    This is both awful storytelling and fanfiction, but cleverly calculated to sell the movie better. It reminds me of a similar situation in POTC3, where you have super badass Tequila, only to see him getting wasted 10m later but before he dies he gives the command of his whole armada of pirates to a fucking female WASP because she is “the chosen one”.


  • Zed

    They kept having to trap him somewhere so the other characters could be in actual danger. It was even worse than most Superman comics. By the third movie it had become unintentional comedy.

  • It’s all a question of the type of bridge, really. The longer it is, the more good will it causes.

  • Did you noticed where she ended up in the movie? I doubt there’s a boutique somewhere nearby. Unless he also has mad sewing skills, together with all the other Mary Sue powers she already shown in the film.

  • I could say it was LOTS of make up, but i still stand by it was an animatronic puppet. Sadly, despite how convincing it was, it still created an uncanny valley effect, hehe!

  • Frimmel

    Do all the starfighter sequences have that shaky-cam like in the gif?

  • KilliK

    and the worse the movie. BTW, Asi, are you gonna a review about the film? And how did you find it? did you like it?

  • KilliK

    Didnt she have new clothes in the end of the movie? I think they looked the same but they were slightly different and more polished. But there must be a beauty shop somewhere in that Irish island, Luke’s beard was too neat for a secluded guy living in the middle of nowhere.

  • KilliK

    she was the worst part in the movie. as someone said, maybe it was better if they didnt bring Leia back and had killed her off screen. Have the big reveal that it was her son Kylo who killed her, and Han is conflicted between avenging her and his love for his lost son. And have a resolution to that conflict in the next movie, after the relationship of those two characters has been established and explored deeper.

    The drama would have worked better, than the shitty, devoid of dramatic weight confrontation between those two and the final demise of Han in TFA. Awful, really awful storytelling, but like with NuTrek, Cocknose is getting praised for his garbage. sigh..

  • It’s all a huge comedia del arte, really.

  • I do plan reviewing that movie, yes. It might take some time, however, all this thing of my dad’s health’s problems has been too distracting for me, and he will go to surgery tomorrow. I just ask you guys a bit of patience, that’s all.

  • I_am_better


  • Not all, just half.

  • Stalkeye

    “Have the big reveal that it was her son Kylo who killed her, and Han is conflicted between avenging her and his love for his lost son. And have a resolution to that conflict in the next movie, after the relationship of those two characters has been established and explored deeper.”

    Now that, I strongly agree with!

  • Stalkeye

    Her being a scavenger obviously helped to explain some of the inner workings of a ship but outshining Solo is a no-no!

  • The only good will needed for a Star Wars movie is the title itself. All else are excuses of the insecure and the greedy.

  • “Orcus must be missing something…”

    A competent script by the screenwriters. Which is something everybody else also missed from the movie.

  • KilliK

    yeah, but his ass was handed to him, every time he went against someone who was at least equal to his skills. Luke in ROTJ, Kenobi in ROTS, Dracula in AOTC. But I guess, killing defenseless children makes him a badass.

  • KilliK

    Solo was acting like a retard in the movie. After so many years with Chewie, he didnt even know how powerful his laser-bow was. but how we laughed with his funny antics, right?

  • KilliK

    nicely said.

  • KilliK

    someone needs to make another one with JJ’s face under Vader’s mask.

  • KilliK

    I bet.

  • Toruk_Makto

    Sure…he’s all kinds of things…but not a pussy or more specifically a coward.
    Personally I was never a fan of the youngling killing thing, but what’s done is done.

  • Toruk_Makto

    They made him a senile old coot who couldn’t remember his last shipment. It was sad.

  • KilliK

    AICN is celebrating for TFA breaking the domestic record of Avatar. and they seem to be pretty sure that it will break the worldwide one too.

    I thought the SW fanboys didnt care about the movie’s BO performance, that all it matters is how good the movie itself is? that tickets numbers dont equate quality?
    oh well, I guess they need something to cling on and feel proud of, now that the film ended up being such a big disappointment.

    ps. ofc, nobody pointed out that according to BOmojo, TFA is 11m tickets sold behind Avatar, despite making more money that it.

  • KilliK

    by pussy, I mean a loser, pathetic, weak. not a coward.

  • Toruk_Makto

    Well, when you put it that way.

  • KilliK


  • Stalkeye

    I’m certain that was from JJ than Kasdan.

  • KilliK

    almost everything was from JJ.

  • Frimmel

    A lot of times when you read two reviews that have very opposite reactions to a film it can seem like the reviewers did not see the same film. You’re left wondering what film you’ll see.

    With TFA it is quite obvious that both the positive and negative reviews saw the same movie.

    I wonder how many times “better than the prequels” appears in the mass of reviews.

  • Bop

    Bro. Laughing my ass off with the Goofy troopers.

  • It appears in ALL OF THE POSITIVE reviews. By now anybody who uses this argument, their opinion becomes suspect.

  • Stalkeye

    “Goofy” is what I would refer to as JJ Abrams’ execution during most of the Sequoot.

  • Stalkeye

    ευχαριστώ, Killik!

  • Stalkeye

  • Scopedog

    Now, now, Killiik–I’m not responsible for cleaning up keyboards….:)

  • Scopedog

    Thanks, Dee!

  • KilliK


  • Stalkeye


  • Scott Carroll

    Because Rey has become the avatar for an entire generation of new wave feminists. Which is a shame because it severely limits what they can now do with Rey’s character without pissing a whole bunch of people off.

    They’ve painted themselves into quite the Social Justice corner. They can’t very well degrade her competence in the next one nor can they allow her to turn to the Dark Side because that would risk the ire of the folks who have turned Rey into some sort of pantheistic Goddess. Too bad really because Rey turning to the Dark Side would be a bold, brilliant choice.

  • Agree that they wasted Phasma. Almost positive she was a victim of cuts though. Definitely had more scenes filmed and they just never made it in. Not sure if the same can be said about Poe, but at least he was developed a little bit.