Fantastic Four: The Men with Knives Fantastic Four: The Men with Knives
20th Century Fox is up to its old tricks again and Josh Trank has been designated as its official fallguy. And yes, I genuinely... Fantastic Four: The Men with Knives

20th Century Fox is up to its old tricks again and Josh Trank has been designated as its official fallguy. And yes, I genuinely feel sorry for him. He’s under a demon’s banner in a house who has Bryan Singer permanently welded to a property he has no business being near, and a company that is forced to pump out land-filler regarding those very properties in order to retain the rights. They want to maintain some hostile leverage against the Marvel engine and see what they can get out of it in the long term, I think, because as of now they’ve produced not one comicbook movie worth seeing.

It’s not that I like all of what Marvel has released. Age of Ultron for one thing or Thor’s sequel and any of those Iron Man ones for that matter. I won’t have any of those on repeat. They’re in a constant state of flux for me, always threatening to go Titanic on themselves as they implode on the horizon. It’s waiting around the corner, eyeing them with superhero fatigue as people like to call it. Everyone thought it was going to be Ant-Man. It wasn’t, according to many. But maybe the orbiting comicbook failures of other companies will help set all that into motion!?

SPOILERS

Reed Richards has built a tunnel to a dimension of which he knows not. How? Who cares? It’s Reed Richards so let’s give him the benefit of the doubt on this matter. Victor Von Doom is sitting in the dark brooding. He’s hopping mad that his computer has been hacked, indicated by his neutral face and tone. Sue Storm is possibly reading squint-inducing lines and doesn’t seem like she has much energy for even that. And Johnny Storm is the most lively, producing one of the lesser profanities while street racing to give us our modern James Dean. Here is our Fantastic Four. Oh, Ben Grimm is a tag along, basically a dog.

There is no real character development in this film. Ben Grimm arrives late in the game and rarely interacts with the rest of the group even after he’s changed. They look mostly uninterested, though I can’t say I dislike Miles Teller (Reed Richards) or Michael B. Jordan (Johnny Storm) even if the dialog and direction they’re forced to digest was Gerber. The team has been weaponized and used for military purposes. But we don’t really get a taste of what exactly. It’s top secret and classified even to the audience.

They dump the idea of cosmic rays being the sole reason for the groups transformation and rightfully so. If it was hinged on that the military could just produce endless amounts of superheroes via shuttle. And so could many other nations. The inter-dimensional planet was a preferable idea but I wouldn’t call it an exotic design. In fact, they probably would have gotten better footage somewhere in the four corners of the American Southwest. We don’t even get an attempt at Forbidden Planet in design. Just some green lava that might be sentient and sticky.

Reed Richards does his best Dalsim impressions and it might be funny depending on who you ask. They could have done more with that but I guess they thought it was too ridiculous. The Thing doesn’t wear clothes but his rock hard genitalia is covered in the poster with the smoke of rubble. If you thought it was a problem for the public, you would have thought it was a problem in the film as well. This guy has no dick, but other appendages, nature is stupid and crazy…that or the studio is. Looking back for the brief moment Johnny was flying I don’t think they produced a close-up shot of his face, only while he was standing on the ground. Jesus did I forget already? Sue also seems to only be an invisible flying bus of some sort, carrying the team from one destination to another, well at least in the only scene she does anything.

Dr. Doom might be the biggest abomination of the film in all. His costume is fused to his body as he’s joined forces with his only friend, a dead planet in another dimension. Dude you’re an A-hole of course you would be left with something like that. He’s meant to be a genius. Doom even gets one scene where he erases something of Richards on the big chalkboard. Don’t know what it was. But again, who cares? That’s the writers telling us they’re geniuses. Accept it and move on. On top of Doom’s other impressive new abilities is his fusion to Magneto and Professor X, as he’s now a telekinetic with a screaming whine sound to his blasts. He doesn’t fly but walks and his mouth doesn’t move either. It’s a face or a mask? A mask-face? A lava carved mask on a human face with green valleys.

So is there anything in the Fantastic Four that is salvageable? No, not really. Is Trank to bare the full blame for this mess? Well he did co-write it, though his input is in dispute and at barely an hour and a half most of it is on the cutting room floor anyway. Both Blomkamp’s films Elysium and Chappie suffered under the studio’s knife with the magic cut being at about an hour and a half for all of them, a time which shows no confidence in their own film and want people in and out of the theatre to recoup whatever they can get. The film cost a paltry hundred and twenty million as well. Big for T2’s era, not in this one. And not for a power-fueled idea like FF. The number should have already inspired worry in a concept they thought sucked from the first time around. Something most won’t challenge.

You can see how hacked to death this film is. How much missing time is gone. That no one even cared. If there is a longer film out there we’ll probably never see it in all likelihood. What we will get is a reboot and not a sequel, and soon. Green Lantern is on the way again after all.

Do I really feel sorry for him? Them? Both Trank and Blomkamp. Yes. These studios don’t want directors with vision, not really. They want new directors with some brand and their initial success. A name they can attach to a studio film. A dog on a leash they can pull on and then paste a Scarlet Letter to when things go bad. With the money they have invested in these projects there is no real room for innovation. Honestly, if I had my way I would make it a law that people stop being excited about anything, that way no expectations lost.

Author Image

Sagamanus

Damn Dirty Daggit Machine

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    “Both Blomkamp’s films Elysium and Chappie suffered under the studio’s knife with the magic cut being at about an hour and a half for all of them”

    Eh? Never heard that. I think that must be an unfounded rumor.

  • I also cannot imagine that Chappie would have been any better if it was uncut (if the story is true).

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Neither Chappie or Elysium would have been any better if “un-cut”.

  • No, it would have been just more of the same crap.

  • Irrational Zissou
  • Irrational Zissou

    Would you say Sagamanus is especially not a genius?

  • Irrational Zissou

    He writes in kind of an obsolete vernacular.

  • Irrational Zissou

    Nazgul please

  • Irrational Zissou

  • Irrational Zissou

    Meanwhile all the good movies get released in 5 theaters.

  • Irrational Zissou

    The End of the Tour this weekend.

  • Irrational Zissou

    All the cool kids just want to see Mistress America

  • jim83

    I don’t think the studio intervened with Blompkamp’s story in Elysium or Chappie(although in my opinion they should have) they just stopped him from casting Eminem as the lead role in Elysium and forced him to go with Damon,and they were right in that instance.After all, look at how Chappie turned out..

  • That sounds like a bad movie.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Exactly what I was getting at. I am not all that excited about his Alien movie either. Nothing he has shown me screams ALIEN to me.

  • Tarmac492.1

    This doesnt even sound like a cable watch. Nice write up, dude. Always enjoy your stuff.

  • Tarmac492.1

    If that.

  • Tarmac492.1

    maybe he needs to not write the Alien project. IMDB has it as an upcoming writing project but that isnt gospel at this point. However, does the studio even give a fuck at this point or is the Alien brand name enough for them to be happy with the potential opening day weekend. There hasnt been a good Alien movie in over 20 years. I liked Alien 3 although not the masterpiece the first two were. I even didnt hate requiem for some reason(maybe drunk maybe a nice hummer from someone)? but still.

  • Zed

    I expected the most irritating part of Elysium to be its political content, but I was wrong. The most irritating part is that the story makes absolutely no sense. Why don’t the Earth hospitals have those magical medpod contraptions? Even if the poor schmucks on Earth are basically slaves, the ruling class would want them to be healthy, skilled and efficient. Where is the scarcity principle here? Are the medpods powered by cosmic rays or something? Explain, movie! Explain!

    Not even going to bother with Chappie. I hear it makes even less sense.

  • Stalkeye

    “They dump the idea of cosmic rays being the sole reason for the groups transformation and rightfully so. If it was hinged on that the military could just produce endless amounts of superheroes via shuttle. And so could many other nations. The inter-dimensional planet was a preferable idea but I wouldn’t call it an exotic design. ”

    Point well taken!

  • Zed

    Title should be Alien: Fanfiction

  • “…He’s under a demon’s banner…a company that is forced to pump out land-filler regarding those very properties in order to retain the rights….”

    Amen, Sags. Amen.

  • ” if I had my way I would make it a law that people stop being excited about anything, that way no expectations lost.”

    coughStarAbramsWarscough

  • Stalkeye

    “Not even going to bother with Chappie. I hear it makes even less sense”

    And you heard correct. Very disappointing Movie to say in the least. One more strike Blomkempt and “Youuuuurrrrreeee out”!

  • ErnestRister

    Don’t want to lose control of your film? Then make a choice between drugs and doing your job. I have no sympathy for Trank. I’ve seen a close friend just destroy himself with cocaine and other drugs, and it ain’t pretty. Watch this space for the next shoe to drop…Trank trying to save his career by going to rehab. As sure as the sun rising.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Agreed, or, Alien vs. Chappie

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    I was hoping they gave a fuck and wanted to make a Alien film for those of us who remember how awesome the first two were. I know, utter bullshit on my part, but all I am asking is take the model set forth, and expand on the first two.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    The worst part about Chappie, it was boring! Sorta of like Elysium. Elysium had the elements in place to be a great sci-fi flick, but its lame ass political content, boring ass script, and head scratching script, was a sign for me Blomkamp might be a one trick poney, and with each film that followed, it is now apparent.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    He’s toast. May be he can direct the NEXT Fantastic Four film, give his “flare”!

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    I think Elysium and Chappie suffered from Blomkamp, period!

  • Tarmac492.1

    I guess we are out of the target demographic? Another sign of getting old.

  • Stalkeye
  • Frimmel

    I might have liked Elysium better if it had fewer cuts. There was a damn edit every second for long stretches. The climatic battle was an indecipherable shaky-cam fast edit mess.

    Then the social commentary portion chickened out.

  • Frimmel

    It isn’t being out of the target demographic. It is that movies are made to hit all the demographics. That’s why so many films don’t seem to hold together. They’re making stuff no one will hate but they get there by focus grouping the crap out of it.

    They don’t care if its good. They care that we pay to see it.

  • Frimmel

    I don’t have superhero fatigue. I have cynical cash grab fatigue.

  • Tarmac492.1

    That seems to make alot of sense. Like how they say if want to be liked by everyone, you usually wind up pissing everyone off.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Really? Trank was hitting the crank? Dont mean to make light of it and I am sorry about your friend. I hadnt heard that about JT. Yeah, drugs are a slippery slope man. Its a shame to see people throw their lives away with stuff like that. Yeah, I can see him hitting the rehab circuit.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    I know, right………….getting old sucks, but not as bad as long as you stay young inside!

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    I agree there

  • Tim R.R. Something

    Can you destroy the value of the franchise by making repeated, bad movies? I’d say yes. So why do they hold onto the rights? Are they planning a Billion dollar FF for sometime in 2024 to make up for twenty years of failure? How does that “strategy” make financial sense?
    Are they just holding onto it to spite Marvel/Disney?

  • Tim R.R. Something

    An FF movie should be fun, light, trippy. A lot like guardians of the galaxy in art design, like The Incredibles for character moments. Skip Doom, he’s too big to shoehorn into the first one, save him for a sequel.
    An expedition in the Negative zone with Annihilus would be a good plot. Come to think of it he was created by some techno mutate machine, he could capture them and experiment on them with it. There’s your origin.
    Family, adventure, purple space, wacky machines, you got it all.

  • ErnestRister

    I’m surprised more people don’t know about it, I thought it was widely known.

  • Stalkeye

    That’s news to me, Boyo.

  • Stalkeye

    LMMFAO The Actor in that Thing Makeup could barely move and I always get a chuckle out of Doom flinging his fingers when being over dramatic.
    The Actress who played Sue Storm looked Hawt.
    This Movie is gonna go down in History as being more ambitious than Trank’s version. Mark my words! XD

  • ErnestRister

    Louisiana crew members back in 2014 were talking about the guy being so high on set he couldn’t even speak, or he’d disappear, and sometimes wouldn’t show up at all. Said he was abusive to the crew, acted erratically. All of this was last November. That’s why I’m surprised to see articles talking about 20TH Century Fox taking the film out of his hands as if it was RKO ripping The Magnificent Ambersons out of the hands of Orson Welles. No, fellas.

    Look, drug use isn’t exactly a random uncommon occurrence on a film set. Cocaine expenditures on some sets were hidden as part of the craft service budget back in the 90’s. John Singleton was reportedly so stoned so frequently on the set of Shaft, Samuel Jackson wanted to punch his lights out. Rarely does this get too far out of control to the point where a director loses control of his film, to say nothing of losing a high-profile assignment like Star Wars.

    So I can only assume we don’t even know the half of what was going down, but I keep seeing these stories casting Fox in a bad light, when Trank took something ever college film student in the world dreams of and blew it…maybe he just wasn’t ready. Barry Sonnenfeld broke down in tears on his first studio directing assignment. Some people crack. And some people turn to bad decisions to cope with it. Trank wouldn’t be the first, but I’m not running to his defense.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I just read about his “erratic” behavior. Sounds about right.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    I’m not an Eminem fan, but he might have been an improvement; more believable and interesting in that role than the bland, preppy Damon, at any rate. In fact, someone was arguing this very point over in the talkbacks of that “other” site recently.

    Of course, Elysium’s script would still have been a non-starter no matter who’d been cast, but Eminem definitely would’ve been far more credible as a streetwise occupant of that blue-collar, dystopian world, surrounded by minorities. He would’ve had more intensity and edge to him, as well. Damon came off badly as a token, preppy “white savior” type. It wasn’t believable that he’d be forced to live in the ghetto, no matter his upbringing.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    http://cdn.bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Alien_3_Dutton_51412.jpg

    “Now, you don’t know that! He NEVER lied to me! He may be crazy, he may be a fool, but he’s not a liar!!”

  • Frimmel

    They can’t sell it back and admit they don’t know what they’re doing while giving Disney/Marvel more stuff to trounce them with. Making flops seems to be some sort of face saving device. The spite is just a bonus.

  • Tarmac492.1

    To say the least it is pretty unprofessional to get high or drink on a movie set. I dont do it at work and I am sure you dont, as well as most people. Nothing wrong with a cold one after the whistle blows because you have earned it. Wasnt it William S Gimore I think nixing the beer drinking the crew was doing on set of JAWS. Then there is Robert Shaw. Even being a “method” actor or somethinghe wasted an entire night shooting for Spielberg because he was so tanked. Not cool. Time and place my friends.

  • ErnestRister

    The Martini shot was named for a reason…end of the day, time to relax. But drugs and drinking are pervasive in the arts and entertainment industry. Sure, time and a place, but I’m not judgmental or a Puritan. It’s just annoying when people can’t keep that in check and screw up everyone else’s gig.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    I believe Fox will hand the rights back to Marvel very shortly (and I think they’ll do it in exchange for TV rights to X-Men, too). They’ve had three bites at the cherry and screwed up them all. Seven years won’t be enough to wash off that stink.

    Meanwhile, Marvel don’t have to use the central quartet right away if they feel the F4 brand’s going to be tarnished for a while. With the return of the rights, they get back control of characters like the Silver Surfer and the Skrulls, as well. Either of those could end up in one of their “cosmic” movies. The same goes for characters like Doom, Annihilus and Galactus, who could all justify supporting slots in many of their franchises and cross-overs. Personally, I’d like to see a solo Surfer movie slotted into Phase IV.

  • KilliK

    “Both Blomkamp’s films Elysium and Chappie suffered under the studio’s knife with the magic cut being at about an hour and a half for all of them”

    BULLSHIT!!

  • Sagamanus

    Don’t get me wrong, I have problems with those films. A lot of them in fact. I just think that they all seem compressed and any nuance they were going for is just not possible at that length.

  • Sagamanus

    Exactly.

  • Sagamanus

    I think there is an idea in Chappie. A lot of them. But the alieness of it being South Africa and not America will make it suffer in the North American market. District 9 was lucky as it was just one film like that. Two is too much for Western hearts. Although Chappie has a lot of other bad things going for it as well.

  • KilliK

    Apparently, Blomkamp was promoting Bill Gates’ solution for the 3rd world problem: provide better healthcare thus stabilizing the overpopulation in those regions, which will lead to the improvement of the economy and standard of living there.

    more info here:
    http://www.quora.com/What-does-Bill-Gates-mean-when-he-says-that-we-can-reduce-world-population-through-vaccines-healthcare-and-reproductive-health-services

    Gates’ speech about it:

    Blomkamp as a native citizen of South Africa who lives the problem there at first hand, probably shares the same position with Gates. It’s a shame that he fucked up delivering his message.

  • Sagamanus

    Lol. Chickles was only a slight improvement in the ‘could barely move’ department.

  • Sagamanus

    Thx Stalks.

  • Sagamanus
  • Sagamanus

    Man it’s just going to be hard to do something with the series now. After the first two it seemed almost exhausted and yeah even if they reached Earth which would put a cap on everything. Prometheus also undercut all the mysteries of the series which was somewhat infuriating.

  • Sagamanus

    Agreed.

  • Sagamanus

    Also expensive. You have to take into consideration what the studio who is handing out the money is thinking. And they no doubt thought the previous FF films were one up from B movies. The Negative Zone would be cool and the FF universe always has the Skrulls which I think would be good.

  • Sagamanus

    Sometimes. Lol.

  • Sagamanus

    I looked at Total Recall, the remake. It’s not a good film on any level. And I love the original as I’ve seen it over 100 times. But, when I watched the longer version of the new one it played infinitely better. Still not a good film as they excised all from the original that made it exotic, but nevertheless better in delivery. I hate when studios do that and they want compression to just fit people in the assembly line of watching morsels instead of meals.

  • KilliK

    hawt? she is the definition of cougar:

    http://rebeccastaab.com/images/gallery/gallery5_web.jpg

  • Tarmac492.1

    i still have hope.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    But there’s no proof that happened with Blomkamp’s movies. In fact, the guy came right out in defense of Elysium and said that, contrary to rumor, the movie was 100% his cut. I don’t know about Chappie.

    Yes, he could be lying and trying to save face, but I’ll take his word for it until we know different. The movie is so frenziedly edited that it’s impossible to tell, anyway.

  • Bop

    Did anyone check the Lucifer pilot? I don’t know the comic, but this pilot was funny. It looked like Castle but then with the devil playing Castle.

  • KilliK

    the studios are hoarders of properties. they accumulate as many as they can, under the notion that even if they dont have any worth now, they might have at some point in the future. So in the long term, they are potentially valuable assets.

    case in point: The Abandonware videogame scene.

  • Bop

    What I never understood is why lots of people in the movie business seem to be using drugs. Shouldn’t making movies be their drug?

  • Bop

    Trank needs his powder beaten out of him. What a complete piece of shit.

  • Sagamanus

    That may be true then. I agree that who really knows what’s going on between studio and creative team either. The film feels so compacted I just don’t see how most of it wasn’t on the cutting room floor. I remember all the objections it was receiving because of its politics too from the right, they must have excised more because of those fears in the pre-screenings. If we get a bigger cut of it sometime in the future we’ll know it was him giving into studio demands or his own fault completely.

  • KilliK

    not a bigger cut is gonna save that mess of a movie.

  • ErnestRister

    Live Theater and applause is a drug…filmmaking is a slog, man. You combine the drudgery of filmmaking, the realization most of the time you’re making crap, with the way out of scale adulation…yeah, it’s no surprise. Some people get into it for the wrong reasons. It’s no different than sports or politics or religion.

  • Zed

    $200,000 worth of damage to the house? What did he do, burn it down?

  • Looking for listening devices? I recall Van Damme destroying some hotel rooms while doing that in his “coked-up”-phase.

  • Tarmac492.1

    i tend to agree with what Rister said about filmmaking being a slog. I have watched a few sets live WOTW being one when I worked in Newark.,Seems like a ton of standing around in the cold. Maybe not for a director. That is why writing is cool. You are completely involved and in control at all times.

  • ErnestRister

    And Spielberg is famous for being one of the fastest directors out there…Sean Connery was amazed at the speed on Last Crusade. All of the motion capture for TinTin was shot in just a few weeks.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I think Eastwood has that rep, as well. Besides their artistic success, I would bet that shooting quick, on or even under budget, may give them extra leeway with the studio. Maybe a good lesson as well for young directors.

  • Stalkeye

    “Shouldn’t making movies be their drug?”

    Quote of the thread, Meng!

  • ErnestRister

    You earn right of final cut by not making something the producers need to mess with in the first place….or producing and financing your own work.

  • Stalkeye

    Wha…? You was in Newark and lived to tell the tale?
    God was watching over you, Boyo. (;’

  • Stalkeye

    If drugs aren’t the death knell of Trank’s career, then FF’s reception surely will be. [email protected] Jackson wanting to kick Singleton’s Ass. I can imagine that Shit, “get stoned again, I double dare you Motherfucker”!

    Priceless.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Just the Ironbound portion. The tripod that came out of the street was on Ferry Street, site of some great Portuguese Restaurants. I saw that church that got split in half many times. Really nice church from the outside. Never went inside. Cheap beers in the taverns and hot brazilian and portuguese barmaids spelled a good time for me an co-workers. Killer sangria, too. Kiss your memory goodbye!! The crew used one of our branches to store equipment. Some people got to meet Cruise apparently. I was not one of them. I worked a few blocks over in the main office.

  • Stalkeye

    Sounds like you had plenty of Fun. Hot Brazillian Chicks? Sadly i missed out on that one. I have a Portuguese coworker and fellow Geek that tells me that Women are Portugal are very Beautiful but all I get are these “assumptions” for the Webz.

    http://www.nationalstereotype.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Jokes-about-Portuguese-Stereotypes-2.jpg

    However….

    http://www.diariodigital.sapo.pt/images_content/2012/raqueljacobplayboy6.jpg

    *Books a flight to Portugal* (0:<

  • Stalkeye

    “Worse than Batman & Robin”?????
    Nick Nightly shall be vindicated. Damn him!! XD

  • Stalkeye

    I would go with Stuck on stoopid. At least SONY (Who I have less and less respect for nowadays.) knew when to throw in the Towel sorta speak and share the rights of Spider-Man with Marvel studios.

    These FUX at FOX, won’t ever learn nor will they move an inch in regards to compromise. let their Hubris get the best of them as their sequel will bleed more Money out their pockets. Can’t wait!!

  • Tim R.R. Something

    Heard about the merchandising of action figures? They don’t sell in the South because the Thing is naked, the Torch is Black, The woman is assertive and Mr. Fantastic sounds gay

  • Bop

    Mama mia.

  • Frimmel

    I don’t disagree. While I lean more to Killik’s point about studios hoarding properties Fox has pretty much burned any worth the FF have to them. Its value now would be as you suggest in selling it back to Marvel.

    I can get behind a solo Surfer movie.

  • Stalkeye

    More like-maldita , ela é gostosa!!

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Make sure to pay Asimov a visit while you’re there. :p

  • Stalkeye

    LMAO Couldn’t resist, could ya?
    Well, no offense to my Boy Asi, but if I were to hookup with that Hot Nekkid Portuguese Chick, I would never leave the hotel until it was time to head back to the states. (:’

  • Tarmac492.1

    Just go to the Newark Ironbound, or Toronto or Massachussetts. I worked with some stunners!! Mostly first generation Americans though.

  • KilliK

    nah, Greek chicks are prettier

    http://www.athenstimeout.gr/sites/default/files/images/stefanidi3.jpg

    ps. just doing my bit to promote our summer tourism. 🙂

  • Stalkeye

    Yep, that sounds like the Good ol Dirty South alright. (:’
    I’m sure some Independent Toy Manufacturer will start a Kickstarter fundraiser to make Klantastic Four Action Figures. Mark my worrrdddsss…!!

  • Stalkeye

    Portugals in Canada? That sounds like an concept for a Sitcom.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I would guess the excellent hockey player for the Islanders John Tavares may have some Portuguese blood in him.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Holy fuck!

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    If Portuguese chicks really are as hot as that girl with the delicious ass, I’m surprised Asi is always so miserable about life. If I was surrounded by women like that every day, even just to gaze at, I’d be jumping for joy. Beautiful women are the best natural anti-depressant there is.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Lots of cute Greek chicks on Long Island. Pretty approachable too, the ones I have met. Will always love the melting pot of the USA.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I miss working in NYC mainly because in the nice months you could stroll around the Seaport near where I worked and just lose your mind by the amount of beautiful women you would see.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Yep. I’d say Brazil, the Czech Republic and Sweden are probably, pound-for-pound, the top hot-spots for beauties, but they can be found in many different places.

  • KilliK

    that’s why he is so depressed. he cant get his hands on those booties.

  • KilliK

    and the script in a few minutes…

  • Zed

    Alien vs Blomkamp: Derivation

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Huh? A charming, loveable, easy-going guy with a great sense of humor like him? I thought he’d be swamped in booty!

  • KilliK

    who also knows how to cook. a trait which happens to be appealing to women.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    He only knows how to cook eel stew. That’s not the most romantic dish.

  • KilliK

    LOL!

  • Tim R.R. Something

    “Klantastic Four” OMG

  • Zed

    Fantfourstic. I love it.

  • Toruk_Makto

    “He’s under a demon’s banner in a house who has Bryan Singer permanently welded to a property he has no business being near, “

    Damn right about that.

  • Toruk_Makto

    “Still, who but I could construct a gauntlet capable of destroying a sentinel with such uncanny precision? There is more genius in the palm of my glove than in the entire scheme of onslaught…and that shall mark his downfall.

    Rise Magneto. Do not cower. You shame yourself.

    How dare two such as we succumb to the terror that has so paralyzed others?

    Fear is for lesser men.”

    http://i388.photobucket.com/albums/oo326/OneDumbG0/Doom%20Stats/DoomBlasts05Xmen56.jpg

    I don’t understand it. I just. Don’t. Understand. Quite possibly the biggest fumble in all of super-hero movie character history( Roque and Cyclops are close follow ups). The mishandling of Doom.

    How does one not take this character and make sweet fucking music with him!?! The ego. The braggadocio. The iron will of the man. This is the kind of character who when done right dwarfs any super-hero in his vicinity. Doom

    You don’t even need the fucking fantastic four. You can do a movie with just Doom.

    Inside Doom. Doom against the world. The life of Doom. I shake my head in bafflement…pure bafflement. I have not seen this movie. I can’t say I ever will but please. Please stop. No more of these sad attempts. It’s like being put on the shoulders of a seven foot man and you still can’t make a slam dunk.

    I am disgusted with you. Doom is disgusted with you. Bah, primrose popinjays.

  • KilliK

    the studio execs see the green cloak, plate armour and his slavic accent, and they are scared that he ll look too ridiculous to the average joe. his supervillain name doesnt help either, it’s not a coincidence that in the current movie disaster, he was originally supposed to be a hacker. They thought that this way his name would sound less ludicrous if it was an internet nick.

    OFC, this proves that the execs are clueless as always. Vader who was heavily influenced by Doom, is the most iconic movie villain. same for Jason and Myers who were behind a mask. You have the megahit GOTG, a movie with a talking racoon and a tree, you cant get more absurd than that in a superhero. And still those moron are going for the “realism” approach, otherwise the audience will be laughing instead of getting scared when they see him.

    Doom can work in the silver screen, and can become one of the best superhero villains ever.all you need is the right people with the right vision and the creativity freedom to do him justice. And no, I dont consider Marvel as the studio which will eventually give us the perfect cinematic Doom. They have done a lot worse job in the adaptation of their villains than the others. Ultron, Thanos, Mandarin and all the others I cant remember. fuck Marvel too.

    http://i.imgur.com/ThBC9FA.jpg

  • Toruk_Makto

    I think you’re right Fear is a big factor when it comes to the portrayal of Doom. He represents that fantastical boundary that makes accountants and studio suits quake in their boots.

    If Doom is to ever be done right and in all his glory it would have to be by someone with the testicular fortitude and iron-clad willpower tantamount to the character itself.

  • CreepyThinMan

    DOOM needs to be the dark side of Tony Stark. If Marvel got the FF rights back, the best way to do a reboot would be to do Dooms back story. I doubt that Marvel has the balls to do a movie about a villain but it would be refreshing and a good way to reintroduce the Fantastic Four without making yet another movie about them with another fucking origin story!!!FACT!!!

  • Toruk_Makto

    Yes, Mads would be perfect. And I agree putting Doom in the forefront,the primary character…would send a clear message to the public.
    We have faith in the real Doom.
    Doom. Is. Awesome.

  • Tim R.R. Something

    The new star wars has two armored bad guys, one in a cloak. Let doom be Doom

  • Toruk_Makto

    Yes! Everyone is allowed to be Doom but Doom. Madness.

  • franks_television

    I hear good things.

  • Until you are in a relationship with one. Then they become an active depressant. Or an insanifier.

  • “Hi, did you see the steaming turd that was the new Star Trek? Did you know JarJar Abrams is satan? Come, let’s date and I’ll tell you more.” 😉

  • “to say nothing of losing a high-profile assignment like Star Wars”

    Which sounds a lot like “jeeze, we don’t want a cokehead directing this movie”. I was dubious that he lost the gig just because Fox was unhappy with his cut of FF.

  • Makes seems to bring in Skrulls and/or Galactus first and have the FFs creation have something caused by Skrulls or Galactus in some form. Could be the same cosmic ray thing, just a now existing character, like Galactus, sets it all in motion. Anyhow, I’m cool with anything that brings the FF world back under Marvel’s direct control.

  • Stalkeye

    OUCH! XD

  • Concur on Elysium (haven’t seen Chappie). But Elysium just had deep conceptual problems that were never addressed, and I try to suspend disbelief but nothing about that movie made sense to me. The magical healing boxes can fly through space and land on the earth? Really, that’s a feature they put in them? Why?

    Not to mention, a society that could technologically pull off Elysium and have such a thing be sustainable would have had a much better class of poor people. I understand it was a metaphor and thus was more science fantasy but even so, the trials of the lower class should have been something else, not a Dickensian cliche.

    The movie was incoherent.

  • They can have a box capable of performing super advanced surgery than can cure EVERYTHING but don’t have the technology to monitor a room where dangerous stuff happens to make sure the room is clear. Apparently.

    “You have five days to live. So we won’t just shoot you like malfunctioning property, we’ll turn you loose to go out in an anger-filled revenge fantasy directed against us. That makes perfect sense!”

  • I’m looking forward to discovering how Alien is a metaphor for the class system in South Africa.

  • I am interested in Star Wars. Not excited about it. Just interested in seeing what they do. If it is great, I’ll be delighted, but I have no real expectations.

  • In Abrams i do not trust.

  • Really? I thought you loved the guy!

  • That would entail a whole complete redefinition of the word.

  • jim83

    I forgot her name.Damn it…