Fantastic 4 (2015) Movie Review Fantastic 4 (2015) Movie Review
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"Fantastic 4" is in every sense of the word a dreadful cinematic experience. The script is lazy, the structure is a mess, and the... Fantastic 4 (2015) Movie Review

In this golden age of superhero cinema, it was only a matter of time before business and art could no longer blossom side by side. It’s hard to imagine, considering how nearly every movie the studios churn out these days is either exceptional, really good, or at least serviceably entertaining. Marvel and Fox seem invincible at the moment, but we all knew it couldn’t last forever. Along comes “Fantastic 4”, a production where money eats the art. Where greed suppresses passion, leaving the body of work cold and empty like a drained soul. A reboot so haphazardly put together, and with so little respect for the audience and its characters, it sends the entire genre back to the stone age, buries it in corporate soil, and fertilises the ground with tasteless tragedy.

In the film we meet a young Reed Richards, who aspires to one day change the world for the better with teleportation; a passion that for some strange reason is never explained or justified in any way. He also befriends Ben Grimm, who comes from a dysfunctional, broken and abusive family; something which is likewise very lightly touched upon. Fast forward 8 years, and the two companions present their now fully functional teleportation device, which gets them an internship at a science-corporation known as Baxter. They build a life-size version of the machine, travel to another dimension, come back deformed in various ways, and have to fight evil and save our world. You know how it goes. The same old formula, mixed with a little bit of sci-fi and horror.

I’m not gonna lie. I was really excited to see this film. The cast is chock-full of young talent, the trailers are oddly intriguing, and despite a lot of negative buzz surrounding the production itself, things seemed to be going in the right direction. And for the first half of this movies, I was actually enjoying myself. I wasn’t blown away or anything, but what surprised me was how character-driven the story was. It did a quite commendable job setting up all the personalities and getting us hooked on the idea that these people will eventually become a team of extraordinary human beings. But just as we really start to feel the flow, the accident occurs and derails the train. The structure collapses faster than an overcooked cake, rapidly deflating until all the air is gone.

We first become aware of the impending doom (no pun intended) when the movie suddenly jumps 1 year forward in time, just after our heroes have awakened to the realisation of their horrifically altered appearances. The fundamental mistake here is expecting the audience to stay emotionally attached to these four individuals. Because while we clearly know that things have changed, we don’t get to relate to it or experience any of the impact. It’s almost like spending a day in the company of interesting people, and then being denied any contact with them for an extended period of time. And when you finally meet again, you naturally want to pick up where you left off.

But in this case, our relationship with the fantastic four never picks up. They won’t even talk to us. They’ve all become accustomed to their powers, and everyone has learned how to harness them. In fact, the entire second act is completely cut out of the equation. No one is mentally affected by seeing one of their own falling to his death. For god’s sake, they’re not even slightly troubled by the deformities that’s been inflicted upon them! Act one’s promise of a strong character-piece is dropped in favour of what I can only describe as one of the most detouring, lifeless and dull third acts in the history of third acts. I felt so emotionally betrayed, I seriously considered leaving the theatre, because nothing happens during the last 30 minutes. I’m serious. Absolutely nothing…

All we get is a series of incoherent and loosely strung together scenes, in which these “brilliant” young minds WILLINGLY comply to the military’s request of carrying out despicable actions. The Thing does nothing but whine and mope, not to mention kill countless people without feeling any remorse of doubt about the blatantly obvious fact that he’s being weaponised. What’s even worse is that we only see him do it on a tiny television screen! For all the money they pumped into this thing, you would think they would at least give us some visual eye candy to look at. But in the end, you only get one pathetic 3-minute fight scene with the main villain, who not only emerges way too late in the game, but also inexplicably decides that earth must be sucked into a vortex so that he can create a new world from this so-called negative zone. It’s so dumb and forced and idiotic, I began to miss Tim Story’s 2005 film. That’s not a good sign! Then everything wraps up so quickly, people at my screening literally stood up and proclaimed “that sucked!”. I couldn’t help but agree.

“Fantastic 4” is in every sense of the word a dreadful cinematic experience. The script is lazy, the structure is a mess, and the story is a paceless train wreck. It’s utterly forgettable trash, containing none of the fun and colourful excitement of a Marvel film, while also failing miserably to pull off the grimy look and dark feel of the pictures that inspired it. This is a perfect example of what happens when the studio is desperate to keep the rights to a property. Everything becomes a business. Art becomes reduced to sour, money-driven decision-making so fatal that even the low-minded fan of “Transformers: Age of Extinction” will leave in anger. I can’t possibly imagine anyone liking this film. When the second half is so bad, it completely ruins the otherwise interesting first half, you should seriously reconsider your priorities. This is just sloppy craftsmanship with no heart or soul. One of the worst superhero movies ever made, and a top-contender for the worst flick of 2015.

Author Image

Mathias Folsted Film/Music/TV critic, columnist, and news-writer

An aspiring filmmaker, film critic and YouTuber. Previous experience include extensive work for the largest danish film site, www.filmz.dk, where I served as junior editor, film critic, columnist, and news writer. Also a graduate from the European Film College, I've been a lover of motion pictures for as long as I can remember. My criticism is always honest, but above all emotional.

  • JUSTICE

  • Abe

    I’m sorry the movie sucks, but it is fun to watch you unload on it Mathias.

  • Zed

    We all knew it would be bad; the only question was how bad. Sort of the opposite of Fallout 4. I salute you for sitting all the way through this soulless travesty.

  • lol Josh Trank you whiny sack of shit, have fun directing that Star Wars spinoff sleeping in your own piss on Skid Row.

  • lol Josh Trank you whiny sack of shit, have fun directing that Star Wars spinoff sleeping in your own piss on Skid Row. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c69d9a1bb4b80c487eca53569931ef3bbf26dae60334417a592159e3f6f4760.png

  • Oh, and FOX is fucking terrible too, but at least they know it.

  • Abe

    They do?

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    I gotta say this does have an LXG vibe about it and it has me interested. Also an August release. 20 years later and LXG stands as a near masterpiece in my eyes. Not sure. I might have to see this one. Good review!

  • Zed

    Do you know what excuses are like, Mr. Trank? I bet you do.

  • KilliK

    I dont know, call me a sadist, but I love it when losers like the guy above, are getting mad and crybabies when they lose the american dream from the grasp of their hands.

    yes, Josh, life is not fair but at least you got the chance to make a blockbuster superhero movie. now face the consequences like a man, even if it’s not your fault, or whine about it and be the laughing stock for the rest of us. either way, in the end, we win.

  • KilliK

    nice. now we are waiting with bated breath, Harry’s review. who bets he is gonna love it?

  • KilliK
  • Awful news I was one of the few who expected this to turn out as a pleasant surprise. The trailers suggested a refreshing change of look and pace till the last ones gave us an impression of the dialogue. Still prefer Kate over Rooney

  • The gushing Harry review is here

  • Dr. Geiszler, Kaijuologist

    Well shit.

  • Oh, boo hoo

  • gorgarwilleatyou1

    but will it be better in Dobly…

  • Bop

    I am under the impression that you don’t like the guy that much.

  • Bop

    If there was court for television and movies Fox would be the multiple offender.

  • Mathias

    Can’t agree with that. The latest Wolverine film and the new X-Men are great superhero flicks.

  • CoolHandJuke

    still waiting for that Fantastic Floor movie to come out. stop teasing my cock you studio shitheads…

  • Tarmac492.1

    Ouch!!! Will avoid this one like a hooker with cold sores.Very entertaining first paragraph in this review. Nothing like a good hate write to let the words flow with ease.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Rooney scares me. Kate is girl next door cute.

  • Tarmac492.1

    That is what we used to call a CUNT back on the playground.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Completely agree. Maybe he can get a 9 to 5 like many of us have to and see how he likes that. Artists should be able to handle criticism. Yes, studios fuck shit up, but it is a business. Either live with it, rise above it, or super size my Big MAC order, bitch!!!

  • Tarmac492.1

    In my Retarded Opinion. best review he has done.

  • I meant as a studio in general. They’re all capable of some good I suppose.

  • Mathias

    Hate? I’m just evaluating the quality of the film with all the words in my arsenal. I was really optimistic about it. More so than anyone else around here, I think. I love superhero films. Most of them have been really great for the past 7 years or so. It kind of saddens me that you find hate so compelling xD haha. I would much rather have a movie be good. It always bums me when something turns out to be shit. Believe me, it wasn’t fun to write this review. But it had to be done, so other people can avoid the wreckage.

  • Mathias

    Ahh, I see. My mistake.

  • Mathias

    Haha, thanks man. You’re welcome.

  • Mathias

    Why do I get the feeling you were the bully back in school? haha.

  • Stalkeye

    ” It’s so dumb and forced and idiotic, I began to miss Tim Story’s 2005 film. That’s not a good sign! “

    Ouch!!

  • Stalkeye

    *BZZZZZT* Wrong!
    The Wolverine was just average and a shit load of cliches.
    X-Men DOFP was good but i prefer First Class over the ham fisted adaptation of the 1980’s classic story arc.

  • Ouch indeed.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Actually, I am against bullies unreservedly. I am not against calling people out on whiny behavior 🙂 especially when this guy was given a chance any one of us would kill for. I am really against artists whining about critics. Makes no sense. We all have critics in our lives and we have to learn to deal with them

  • Tarmac492.1

    I guess when I said hate I just meant that you didnt like it and that, maybe, writing about something in a negative fashion made the words come out better. I think you are a good writer,but this one seemed to crackle and pop more than usual. For me, writing is like pitching in baseball, sometime you really have i and every other word is golden, sometimes you dont have it and you hope you dont write like Harry(you have never been like this). This seemed to be one of the days you really had it. And yes, I believe you are more optimistic than most. I want to like every movie I see, as well. Who wants to waste that time and money?

  • Oh, he boasts about seeing it TWICE. Good grief.

  • House Password Zissou

    Sounds like a superhero movie alright.

  • Abe
  • House Password Zissou

    Flagged.

  • House Password Zissou

    Banned

  • House Password Zissou

    I’ll keep Rooney to myself then.

  • Abe

    Fidelio

  • House Password Zissou
  • Mathias

    Couldn’t disagree more. I love “The Wolverine” (the Mangold adaptation, obviously), and I think it’s better than any of the X-Men films. One of my all-time favorite comic book movies, to be honest. Maybe I’ll do a review of it soon.

  • Mathias

    First of all, who is Harry? Secondly, I put just as much effort into movies I love. Actually, I’m very proud of my “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation” review. I said everything I wanted to say in that review. But I do get that as a reader, sometimes you just click with a certain review. I felt the same way when I read a review for “Tomorrowland”, which I completely agreed with.

  • Mathias

    I see. Great to know you’re on my side, because I certainly was never popular in school.

  • House Password Zissou

    The Supernaughts has changed my memory so now I always want to think the pianist was Nick Nightly.

  • Neither was I

  • Stalkeye

    I would like to read your detailed defense of the Film. yeah, it’s better than the first which was easy, but fell within all too familiar territory.
    I already predicted who the main Baddie was and “Sayonara” was again, predictable. There was a good film waiting to get out, but this wasn’t it IMO. The Anime despite it’s flaws was much better.

  • House Password Zissou

    What are the grammar rules for internet writing? I notice everyone puts book and movie titles in quotes instead of italicizing like you’d do academically.

  • Abe

    That’s funny. I do the same thing.

  • Abe

    It’s the wild west baby.

  • House Password Zissou

    I guess everywhere is outside of academia isn’t it?

  • Tarmac492.1

    I defer to Puck. Puck italicized mine when he got here, so I italicize now.

  • House Password Zissou

    Professor Puck

  • Abe

    Let’s not start losing our heads here.

  • Tarmac492.1

    More of a reader thing than a writer thing in this case, obviously I can speak for both sides, however. I agree with your MI:RN review. Found it great fun and a golden ticket for McQuarrie.

  • I prefer italicizing, as Tar said below, but I don’t go out of my way to enforce it as both methods seem fairly common online.

  • Abe

    Tarmac is on everybody’s side. He loves you guys…a little too much if you ask me.

  • Don’t get it.

  • ooops, Rooney fan #1

  • House Password Zissou
  • You don’t want to know who Harry is. Consider yourself blessed lol.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Rooney is not Anna Kendrick Creepy but she is a little odd.

  • I don’t get it either.

  • House Password Zissou

    I know that one day Rooney and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there’s going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside and you won’t be invited.

  • Great review by the way, to the point and not just a knee jerk reaction.

  • Alba’s better than both.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Sounds very Wicker Man or at least Dugger Family. I will still send you a gift.

  • Great way to humblebrag that you are an academic.

  • House Password Zissou

    She’s such a super lady.

  • What’s means “italicizing movie titles”? “It’s a the Fantastic Four, eh”?

  • House Password Zissou

    Not currently.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I still lament zombies are popular now and not twenty years ago? I never understood why girls didnt want me talking about Dawn of the Dead to them after those five beer funnels and explosive vomiting. Why did they hate zombies so much?

  • I sense discrimination towards Canadians.

  • House Password Zissou

    And academia.

  • make it an “ey”

  • Tarmac492.1

    I have a special room with bunk beds and toys for all my special friends. Fiddle abut fiddle about!!!!

  • House Password Zissou

    This is why Kate Mara is more your speed.

  • Tarmac492.1

    She has just planned three murders in that dress.

  • House Password Zissou
  • Tarmac492.1

    Puck is just a little less stupid than the rest of us.

  • I’ll accept this.

  • Tarmac492.1

    You could one day be the GM for the NY Giants.

  • The Grotesque Four?

  • It’s just 12 years but okay.

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    I italicise, bold, quotation marks or use the odd dash depending on how stoned I am. It seems a good system.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I hooked up with the Grotesque Four my freshman year of college.

  • Tarmac492.1

    If Puck was in a SAW movie it would be Puck forced to edit a Knowle’s review. He would be in a locked room chained to a desk, a computer with the review and a saw. What would he do?

  • She is almost too polished.

  • Tarmac492.1

    The opening two paragraphs may have contained some of his worst writing. Everr

  • Tarmac492.1

    I like to get drunk on wine and vainglory.

  • Tell her to put on the lotion regularly

  • Tarmac492.1

    That was LOL!!!

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    There goes your X-Men/Fantastic Four crossover anytime soon! What are the odds that Marvel gets the rights back for this franchise? I really hope they do, if anything, Marvel will make a good Fantastic Four movie! Believe It

  • The maximum amount of polish without going over the edge.

  • gorgarwilleatyou1

    wow not that i am a fan but Quint just posted a bad review wonder if a facebook firing is coming…..

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    Yeah and another thing. Trank taking to Twitter was maybe the worst and most self-destructive career move I have ever seen. In 40 characters he just obliterated the credibility of his position vis a vis accusations of unprofessional conduct. See who will take a chance on him in future when he blows up the opening weekend of his own project. That is unfortunate business that. How is your novel coming Dee? The one about the detective in Japan?
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RUqOwWOBTOo

  • Still working on the details.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    I heard from reliable sources that it was approaching a thousand pages. Care to comment?

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    Homeownership is the American Dream and Trank – at age 31 – probably has that covered Killik. The guy has the total backing of the hipster critical elite. He is going to be just fine. Mark my words, Trank will prosper.

  • It’s the LOTR of noir-erotica.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    That tweet just lost people money. Objectively.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    If I was a theater owner? I mean . . . Just wow . . . Must be nice.

  • Zed

    Even Gore Verbinski publicly defended his stinkbomb in 2013. This guy just logs onto Twitter on opening night(!) and pretty much says “Yeah, it sucks.” I sure wouldn’t hire him.

  • Mathias

    Well, I could do that. But I honestly think my audience couldn’t care less. After all, this is not a school assignment. I want it to have a slightly personal feel to it. That’s also why I often use words such as “I feel” and so on, so it doesn’t become to high-brow or academic the average reader.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    It’s interesting. It’s smart on a hipster level because creatively he is pissed so he just burns the studio on Twitter. Makes him seem serious, but it’s the friggin’ opening weekend of a superhero franchise picture. That’s what e signed up for and now he’s looking for the exit. Lock all the doors and aim for the body.

  • Stalkeye

    FF can’t be as bad as Amazing Spider-Man 2 bad, right?

    …right??!!??

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    I knew this was going to suck from the beginning: casting choices, character back story changes, mediocre director, studio, etc. Why can’t someone come in, who KNOWS the Fantastic Four, is a fan boy, has read the comics (the older ones, not the newer Ultimate crap) and make a FF movie that harkens back to the Fantastic Four that all of us nerds grew up with? It does not seem that difficult, but I’ll be damned if they haven’t fucked it up fantastically FOUR times!

  • Orcus

    Maybe now the rights will revert to Marvel so the can do a proper job.

    Not seeing the movie as of yet, Orcus has the impression, that it would be a decent movie if it were not a FF movie.

    Times like this, Orcus pines for the Jessia Alba version. Or just Jessica Alba

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    Sold.

  • Maybe we should try and recruit him

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Yes! Karma has come back to bite this opportunistic piece of shit on the ass. And by opportunistic, I’m referring to both the movie and Trank. Or Fox. Or perhaps both.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Nah. Though it’s undoubtedly dreadful, it wasn’t penned by the Dynamic Duo.

  • Stalkeye

    *Sighs of relief*

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Exactly. If the rumors about this guy’s on-set behavior are to be believed, he deserves everything he gets. If you’re playing with billions of dollars of other people’s money – shit, even if you’re working for minimum wage – take pride in your work and act like a professional. Show up on time and communicate with your cast and crew like a human being. Don’t do a sloppy job. This guy blew an opportunity many enterprising young filmmakers would kill for. He’s an entitled uber-douche and deserves nothing but contempt for his actions.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Who is this shadowy cabal of “elite hipsters”?

    Stop paying to see any of this guy’s movies and he won’t prosper for shit, at least on a professional level.

  • Abe
  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    “First of all, who is Harry”

    LOL…really?

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    The trouble with Harry.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    I mean yeah you can say it, but we’ll see. I say he is still relevant in 2-3 years.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    Well I mean you can act how you act if you deliver the goods in reality. Wes Anderson alienated the crew on Fox, but the movie was excellent, a success. So….we can preach on this and that behavior…but if the work is high quality then the guy who made it can have some privileges. I guess.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    *cough* Bryan singer*cough*

  • Tarmac492.1

    no hacks

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Perhaps – he’s got Chronicle 2,3, 4 and 5 to fall back on, after all. And if those don’t work out, Chronicle 6, 7, and the Netflix spin-off series. This guy is the new Troy Duffy, as far as I’m concerned.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    I’m trying to explain this to you but the elite hipster critical community is in Trank’s corner. Watch how this plays out. I think he pulls through.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    There are many “asshole” directors, but they’re all professionals that can run a watertight set and eventually bring home the bacon, if not in a critical sense then at least in a financial one. Even Michael Bay is a professional in that sense, despite his brash on-set behavior and lack of artistry. Trank is none of these additional things.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    My point is if the movie was good and made money we wouldn’t be having this conversation. The movie is apparently bad and we don’t know the box office yet. Come Monday if it does great you think the sequel won’t be mooted?

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    It won’t do great, and even if a rushed, cheaper sequel is greenlit in a vain attempt to recoup expenses, it won’t be this clown directing it.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    Now you’re just moving the goalposts around.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Okay, I believe you. Do these hipsters meet up in a mansion like the one in Eyes Wide Shut, and wear Abercrombie and Fitch sweaters, pork pie hats and John Lennon glasses instead of grotesque masks and birthday suits, by any chance?

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    No, Trank did that all by himself.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    The point is this. Movie makes money/good Trank behavior excused. Movie bombs/critical failure onset shenanigans etc. Trank on Twitter says he’s reckless so maybe his behavior CAUSED the movie to be bad and not studio interference. Or maybe it did and this was just a poison dart from Trank given it was opening weekend. Whatever the case may be there is a lot of hate emanating off this project and that is unfortunate. I’d like to think the director would take the high road here. Again I would refer to the Anderson/Fox example. if it works it works if it doesn’t it doesn’t.

  • CoolHandJuke

    I just got back from starring in a bukaki film and had a better time than if I’d gone to see this…

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    Really happy to hear Josh Trank cares about the careers of his three young stars.

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    Lol is this guy’s wife hot or something?

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    You laugh!? Did you even see True Detective this season!!? The cleansing rain is upon us!!

  • Pie+coffee+movie

    I approve this message.

  • Toruk_Makto

    Yep, Wolverine was my favorite character and after all these years they still haven’t done the character justice. (no dis-respect to Hugh, it’s not his fault and he’s the only thing that saves the character).

    The Wolverine was generic and lame ( Not lamer than Origins, but how can you go lower than rock bottom?). Any 3 pages from Chris Claremont and Frank Millers limited series blows the whole film out of the water. They don’t get it…they just. don’t. get it.

    As for DOFP..as far as I’m concerned the only decent parts of that Singer snore-fest was when he was trying to ape moments from First Class…which was basically anytime Magneto was on screen.

  • A Finnish reviewer actually compared the movie to “something that comes from “The Asylum”-studios. ..” Daaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm.

  • ponyboy_360

    Left you a message in the
    hotbox.
    At 6:02 p.m.
    Hope you see it before it gets buried.
    Peace.

  • It’s “bukkake”

  • CoolHandJuke

    sorry, must have still had some splooge in my eye…

  • Sagamanus

    Dude I don’t know if FF is any good or not as I have not seen it. But if there is anyone out there attacking this but defending the X-Men films as any better they have lost all credibility.

  • Conspiracyin559

    Now ppl online are saying that the Studio pulled 3 big action scenes out of the film just days before shooting. I find it hard to believe Fox gutted the film a few days before the shoot began…and nothing came out till now. Also…Fox had already signed off on every last detail…someone didn’t just wake up and decide to reduce the run time or the CGI budget.

    This whole affair might make for a great documentary..Trank seems a little over his head.

  • Conspiracyin559

    Also…someone needs to tech this kid how the business works…you don’t fire off at the Studio over your second film if you wanna work again.

    He shoulda done what other directors do when the meddling gets to much…walk.

  • CreepyThinMan

    HERE’S HOW YOU DO A FUCKING FANTASTIC FOUR SEQUEL; NO ORIGIN STORY BULLSHIT!!!FACT!!!

    Open the movie with an action sequence with the team fully formed and working together.

    TITLE SEQUENCE WITH VOICE OVER….

    “My name is Reed Richards and some time ago my colleges Ben Grimm, Sue Storm, her brother Johnny Storm and I were working on a space station in Earths orbit when we were hit by cosmic radiation which gave us strange powers. We use these abilities to fight against evil while using our scientific knowledge for the benefit of humanity. We call ourselves, The Fantastic Four”

    END FUCKING TITLE SEQUENCE!!!

    Show Doom being a cunt in Latveria while talking about his evil scheme. Eventually it lands on the Fantastic four’s doorstep and they have to stop it. At the end of the movie they discover the plan originated in Latveria while Doom comments about he’ll have to deal with it personally!!!THE FUCKING END!!!

    I’m probably one of the few people who actually liked the original two movies. I think Tim Story’s Direction was excellent while his lightness of touch was perfect for Marvel and what the Spider-man movies should have been instead of being weighed down with over earnest sentimentality that made Rami’s films feel like episodes of the fucking Waltons. The only problem with those two FF flicks is that the scripts were weak, some of the casting sucked (Gruffudd and Alba when George Clooney and Joely Richardson were born to play Richards and Sue), Doctor Doom shouldn’t have known them personally, only seen them as a pest in the way of his plans, and they should have been building a trilogy leading to Galactus!!!FACT!!!

  • Phantomcreeps

    Hello, Brother.

  • Sagamanus

    I can definitely see Clooney as Reed Richards. In fact looks more like him than ever in Tomorrowland.

    Didn’t RR and Dr. Doom attend the same school in the comic?

  • jim83

    Tim Story is certainly laughing his ass off…

  • jim83

    Yes they did.

  • jim83

    I don’t think marvel will ever get the rights back,but yes the studio that made a billion dollars from a comic like Guardians Of The Galaxy can certainly turn the F4 into a big franchise.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I would like a snippet once ready please.

  • Tarmac492.1

    My American Dream involves legalized prostitution and a brothel on my block, but I agree with your point.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I would guess it would be in a coffee house or shop that sells used books or vinyl records somewhere. Or a store that doesnt sell razor blades.

  • gorgarwilleatyou1

    Creepy where did your FACT column go? Are you on the FBI watch list or perhaps you are going for the Guinness record for Disqus profiles… Hope it comes back.

  • resiliation

    Very very great movies!

  • Stalkeye

    Fuck yeah! Not too sure about Roger Corman.

  • Stalkeye

    Excellent premise, Creepy!

    You won me over with the title narrative and flashback sequence explaining their origins. I was on the phone with a friend of mine who had seen the 2015 Abomination and the only good thing he could say about it was the CGI effects (Thing and Human Torch specifically.) I am very uncomfortable with the FF being younger prodigies and Jordan’s casting sounds a bit pandering IMO. I always envisioned Clooney as Mr. Fantastic since the 90’s but instead, we got the lame batman & Robin. *Grits teeth*

    I just wished that marvel had the rights reverted back to them where they can actually do the FF justice. I liked rise of SS to an extent and didnt bitch because Galactus was a Cosmic Cloud fart, Evans and Chiklis carried BOTH Films as far as I’m concerned. Jack Kirby is rolling in his grave, still!

    And it’s a damn shame when some 20 Year old Cartoon series got it right unlike the live action films.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Evans and Chikliss were good. They actually cared. They are always good IMO. The other two were just lame as was the Nip Tuck pretty boy. Unless they throw boatloads of money at Clooney, he wouldnt go near FF with a ten meter cattleprod. I wasnt a fan or the comics, but wouldnt Jeri Ryan fill out a FF uniform and make a nice Mrs. Richards if they were going for older FF?

  • Stalkeye

    I don’t know who this Jeri Ryan is however back then, I pictured Sharon Stone as Sue Storm during the height of her fame.

    I was the same guy that said how Patrick Stewart of Star Trek TNG would be ideal for professor X had a movie been made. Fast forward well over a decade later and BOOM!

    http://download.gamezone.com/uploads/image/data/1121348/article_post_width_patrick_stewart_xmen.jpg

    I can see why Chris Evans got to play another Superhero and it’s my favorite Comic character at that. The guy has range as he can do both humor and drama so yeah, he’s a very underrated thespian.

    Same goes for Michael Chiklis. He was great as Ben Grimm but they should have gone the CGI route if you ask me.

  • I’m starting to wonder, is it even possible to make a good Fantastic Four movie? Or this comic only attracts the worst filmmakers/runners/executives for the cinematic adaptation job?

  • I don’t understand the complains against origin stories. Not everybody are as well versed in the minutiae of background of the characters as the comic nerds are. This movies with this big budgets, which they need to have to even get made, need the lay audiences to watch them, so they have to have that bone trow at them.

    Besides, origin stories are rife for good drama if handled well. Batman Begins is the patron saint of that.

    The problem is not the origin stories, the problem is who makes them and how well or not they make them. From the same material you can create a great or bad origin story, it all depends on the creatives.

  • KilliK

    yeah, I am sure you were the only one in the whole geekscape, who wanted Picard to play Xavier.

  • Stalkeye

    As far as I know, yes!

  • KilliK

    fallacy.

  • jim83

    The made a decent/good movie out of the guradians of the galaxy comic,they can certainly do one with the F4…

  • CoolHandJuke

    usually i can find something fuckable in any woman, but this invisible chick leaves me dead below the waist…

  • CreepyThinMan

    When I saw the Fantastic Four, I thought Evans was just another prettyboy douchebag ala Ryan Reynolds. But then I saw him in Sunshine and you could see that the guy had real acting chops, unlike Reynolds who plays the same smarmy wisecracking, unfunny fratboy cunt in everything he does. I was excited about Deadpool but after seeing the R-rated trailer, it just looks like Kick-ass 3. The R-rating, blood, gore, sex and swearing shouldn’t be the whole point of a Deadpool movie. It needs to be crazy and transgressive like Crank 2 or Head!!!FACT!!!
    https://youtu.be/mdd5xI9l7Ns

  • CreepyThinMan

    People do origin stories because they think it somehow makes these characters “deep”. You can tell a story and reveal characterization by other means such as flashbacks. Did we really need to see Bruce Wayne’s parents killed AGAIN? Do we need to know why James Bond is a cold blooded bastard? There’s something to be said of mystery and when you strip a character of mystery by exposing his background, you’re reducing that person to “well, they’re like this because of this or that event in their lives”. Like I said, you can do that with a flashback and not waste my time slogging through the same backstory for 45-60 minutes because some asswipe has no fucking clue who the Fantastic Four are. Get to the action, fill in the details later and don’t fucking bore me!!!FACT!!!

  • CreepyThinMan

    Her and her cunt sister bought their way into Hollywood using Daddy’s money, like that pug ugly skank Cara Delevingne whose family is also loaded and connected, which is why they NEVER smile because they’re used to having everyone kiss their ass!!!FACT!!!
    https://youtu.be/6w7rxKZxYjI

  • Batman Begins spent nearly 50 minutes with Bruce Wayne’s backstory until he became Batman and it was utterly thrilling cinema. Edward Norton’s Hulk reduced the backstory to a series of montages that left me completely cold to the character and the movie as a whole.

    Again, just like sex, it’s how you do it, not the thing itself.

    We can’t blame anybody who is less knowledgable of the comics than we are. That’s ridiculous. and unless you want all comic book movies to just cater to the fanboys, meaning, the kind of movie where a 5 million dollars budget would be considered epically colossal, it’s necessary to cater to the more layman audiences, to offer them at least that much.

    Orin stories are ripe for good drama in the right hands. Again, Batman Begins. That is not boring if done well. Again, Batman Begins. While a mere flashback can be alienating and leaves the character a mere cypher. Again, the later can be done well, but it’s the kind you would rather serve better for secondary or terciary characters.

    But both can be done well, the longer origin story or the flahsback/monologue telling of the origins. But the point is, it still needs to be done, one way or the other. And to presume that everybody knows is mere vanity. And worst, what most people might think they know about an origin story is often memetic memes from popular culture not from the works themselves, thus they are often mistaken. A movie can correct that and present a more accurate origin story or create a new one that could end being very influencial, like how the first Superman movie created an iconic imagery of Krypton that is now practically canon.

    The point is, the issue is NEVER, ever if a origin story is needed, it’s HOW WELL IT’S DONE. That is always the issue, not it’s existence. Also, if one previous movie did it wrong, isn’t it desirable that a new one would address the issue? Really, the origin stories is such a no-subject compared to more deeper issues a comic book movie can and have.

  • I don’t know about Guardians, i couldn’t watch that movie, fucking annoying irritating cunt-ass prancing shit Chris Pratt prevented me from being able to endure more than the initial 10 minutes of that movie, so i can’t judge this issue by that example.

  • KilliK

    jesus, now you’re hating on Chris mothafucka Pratt?? you’re unbelievable.

  • KilliK

    Stan Lee has said a similar thing about the comics, that you must write your superhero stories like they are being read by someone for the first time, because there are always newcomer readers who buy those comics for the first time.

    The same applies for the movies, so an origin story, even if it’s told through indirect exposition like flashbacks or tv news,etc, is always necessary, because they are always people from the audience who watch those superhero flicks for hte first time.

  • KilliK

    finally. someone who gets DP. there is more to him that blood and sex, but those assholes who call themselves fanboys get even that. they demand for an R-rating when ironically enough his comics were never R.

  • KilliK

    and fucked a drunk Sue Storm in a threesome, before their graduation day.

  • Stalkeye

    Evans is great no doubt (Have you seen Puncture, Snowpiercer or Iceman?) and although Ryan is not cut out for Comic films, he wasn’t that bad in “The Voices” I’m somewhat skeptical about his 4th attempt at starring in a Comic based Film. *Winces* That being said, Deadpool has potential to be something good. I just hope they don’t FUX (FOX) it up.

    http://www.looper.com/2150/deadpool-trailer-us-worried/?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_637604

  • Stalkeye

    I know you need to STFU.

  • KilliK

    you know wrong.

  • Bop

    Ha, ha.

  • Stalkeye

    LOL@”Old Man” . You’re probably some 14 Year old Shit because you act like one. It’s funny how often you keep changing your posts 12 Minutes after your original comments. Takes you that long for a creative comeback,eh?

    Pfft!

  • KilliK

    temper, temper, old man.

  • jim83

    Financially it was a big hit though,in terms of comic book quality between the f4 and gotg,there’s just no comparison.

  • jim83

    Well,Corman’s got a new documentary about the original F4 coming up so i guess he’s not that grumpy..

  • Stalkeye

    That should be interesting.

  • Tarmac492.1

    The Mara’s are set for life. Basically American royalty on par with Kennedy’s, especially to sports fans. They are ok in my book, though. An I am a dumb fuck Jets fan. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with me????

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Whats the beef with Singers X-Men films? I thought we liked them. You kids and your crazy opinions.

  • jim83

    I’d probably choose the F4,it’s tougher to do sci fi with a super small budget,the end result always looks bad.Cap i guess doesn’t look so dated.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Crank 2 sucked! FACT!

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Starting crap again? You are a one of a kind (besides being Turds bitch)

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Don’t argue with Turd’s bitch, all he does is Troll from site to site. Let him “pretend” to be relevant

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Hey, I like Reynolds…………….

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Not so much

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Did you just reference sex?

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    I would agree with that…….FACT! Believe It!

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Yawn…..whatever

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Chris Pratt is very good. You just have lost your taste!

  • jim83

    Singer’s X-men are pretty good movies,not perfect adaptations but when they were released they were like a breath of fresh air for comic book movies in general something that a lot of people seem to forget.

  • Stalkeye

    LMMFAO
    I have no problem with Turd, but I can only put up with this guy for too long. It’s best to avoid altogether. And yes, I concur. his 15 Minutes should have expired a lonnnggg time ago.

  • Stalkeye

    Agreed! You know you have a Shitty Budget, when you’re using stock footage during an opening scene.

  • I never had a taste… for utter crap.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    I have came to respect Turd’s opinions, even when we differ, but Killik, he’s a douche’

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Sure you do….you love Valhalla Rising! That is Utter Crap! The last half anyway……

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    That is your your loss! Great movie, too bad you go into things with a preconceived ideal on how it is going to be. GOTG was one of the great “finds” in a long time.

  • Bop

    That one wasn’t bad. 🙂

  • Stalkeye

    Agreed! And that will never change!

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    You know nothing of DP…FACT!

  • Scopedog

    It might be possible…but then again, as you allude to, it’s going to take better filmmakers to do it. If they can make a great Spider-Man film or a great Captain America film like The Winter Soldier. there is hope.

    I have no desire to see this new FF film–not at this point anyway–so that means I can’t comment on whether it was good or bad.

  • Scopedog

    Hmmm…not even Rocket Racoon or Groot could help?

  • Scopedog

    I dunno know which is worse, Corman’s FF or Pyun’s Captain America? Decisions, decisions.

    I’d say flip a coin, Stalkeye…:). Personally, I’ve seen both…and they’re both horrible, to say the least. I know many dislike the Tim Story films, but they are Oscar-worthy material compared to the Corman FF or Pyun’s CA.

  • Scopedog

    Not everybody are as well versed in the minutiae of background of the characters as the comic nerds are.

    I’ve tried to tell that to many of my friends who are into comics–when it comes to these films, the general audience only has a passing or casual knowledge of these characters, and one needs to show how these heroes started out. In subsequent films you don’t need to show the entire origin; it can be mentioned or be done with a flashback scene.

  • Scopedog

    That’s what I liked about Evans–the fact that he could play both the cocky, devil-may-care Johnny Storm and the serious, uber-heroic Steve Rogers (and do it so well) is fantastic.

    It doesn’t hurt that he was also great in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.

  • Scopedog

    Well, it can’t be worse that The Giant Spider Invasion, right?

    Right? 🙂

  • Stalkeye

    Are you referring to John Peters’ silly suggestion from the abandoned Death of Superman Movie starring Nicolas Cage? LMMFAO
    Best documentary i have seen all Year.
    Kevin Smith while watching The Wild, Wild West reboot: “Son of a Bitch! he finally got his Spider”! XD

  • Stalkeye

    That’s exactly what I’m saying, Scopo!
    The Man has range and although i was no fan of SPvTW, his cameo appearance as well as Routh’s made for cool Fan service.

  • Stalkeye

    Agreed, Old friend.
    I remember a Guy who worked for Marvel at the time, (Jesse Falcon) told me how bad Captain America was before it went straight to video.
    Corman’s Fantastic Four suffered not only from a Shitty Budget, but very bad story and dialogue:

    Sue Storm’s Mother: “Look at you, The Fantastic Four”.

    Reed Richards before punching Dr. Doom: “And this one’s for being a Jerk”!

    I met the Actor who played Mr. Fantastic (Alex Hyde White) at a signing in Jim Henley’s universe Comic shop. Very nice guy who gave me an autographed photo of him and Sue Storm signed-“Fantastically yours”
    To this very day, i don’t know what happened to that Photo or Stan Lee’s autograph as well. ):’

  • Stalkeye

    XD

  • Stalkeye

    BTW, Have you heard the news that Capcom is considering giving RE2 the reboot treatment?

    http://kotaku.com/the-resident-evil-2-remake-is-officially-happening-1723620466

    In the meantime, here’s this..!

  • Stalkeye

    Ouch! LOL

  • CreepyThinMan

    They should just do the first three RE games. I’d pay top dollar for that!!!FACT!!!

  • ErnestRister

    Trank looking to sue 20th CENTURY FOX…good luck with that, Trank, you idiot.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/fantastic-four-blame-game-fox-814764

  • Stalkeye

    So would I and Capcom needs the Money especially since they are doing really bad. http://www.gamespot.com/articles/as-capcom-plays-it-safe-sales-fall-and-profits-cli/1100-6425061/

  • Exactly. An origin story only needs to be told once, that’s it. Not too much to ask of an audience’s patient, if you ask me.

  • Sadly no, and i was loving those two.

  • I had no preconceived notion of what GOTG was “supposed” to be because until this movie was announced i didn’t even knew GOTG existed in the first place. I have zero preconceptions of GOTG, i know nothing about it. So, what ruined the movie for me was the incredible unfunny prancing shit that played lead. Fucking Chris Pratt is like a mutant mix of Ryan Reynolds and Chris Pine, two shits i find utterly infuriating. And now there’s three of them. Great!

  • How wrong you are.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    So right…………so VERY right! Believe It!

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    All three great actors; your just jealous!

  • Zed

    ..

  • CreepyThinMan

    I say great idea, that way he can bankrupt himself and be reduced to Directing gay porn!!!FACT!!!

  • CreepyThinMan

    As long as they make it photorealistic with the same locked camera angles, controls and the original soundtrack, I’ll be happy. But even if they do screw with it, I’d settle for the original version included on disc!!!FACT!!!

  • No. It’s strange the mind that automatically assumes jealousy on other’s motivations.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Dude, don’t up vote yourself, very odd, indeed……….

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    Your motivations are based on jealousy, and my mind didn’t automatically assume that, you have demonstrated that to be FACT over the years! Believe It!

  • Wrong. Deal with it.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Trank tells all the ladies he has the Fantastic Four Inches.

  • KilliK

    yeah, they were. that’s the problem.

  • KilliK

    judging by their crappy RE1 remake, keep waiting.. 😛

  • Bop

    Am I sadistic when I say that I enjoyed the negative reviews of the Fantastic 4 movie?

    I wonder how many times the movie has been called FantASStic 4.

  • Stalkeye
  • Keep giving me arguments.

  • Stalkeye

    I can’t disagree with you on that GIF there as that truly was the weakest link to a good marvel Movie. *Scoffs at “danceoff”
    If I were Ronan, I would’ve Smashed Starlord to a Bloody pulp with my Hammer and that would be a wrap.
    Despite it’s flaws, I still liked GOTG very much and hopefully, they’ll improve upon the sequel.

  • Stalkeye

    To me, Rocket made the Film out of all the protagonists.

    Jus sayin.

  • Stalkeye

    While I disagree with him being jealous, I think it’s Immature to thumb down an entire film because of one lead actor.

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    I use jealous because it always “gets” him. Just being an ass

  • Stalkeye

    XD

  • Killing off the Twat guy would be an immediate improvement.