The Black Cat (1981) The Black Cat (1981)
A review of Lucio Fulci's "The Black Cat" (1981)- from the perspective of a black cat! The Black Cat (1981)

The Black Cat (Written by Ollie the Cat)

Stock Photo©Stalkbacker Inc.

Stock Photo©Stalkbacker Inc.

 

Ollie: Hey there jerkoffs! I know plenty of you expected “Stalkereye” to show up and write his long winded articles with MTV Video clips and shit but not today! uh-uh, you fuckers are stuck with me for the time being and since I’m here, I thought I’d do my part and post a horror- themed review …since it’s almost Halloween n Shit.

Thats how I get when another British Actor is taking American Superhero roles!

That’s exactly how I am, when yet another British Actor is taking American Superhero roles!

 

And speaking of which, what often comes to mind when you think of Halloween? Ok, not just Candy and not that old tradition of fucktards pelting people with eggs. I’m talking about Black Cats of course!
Based on  an Edgar Allen Poe story and directed by that Guido Goremeister himself, Lucio Fulci, The Black Cat (Il Gatto Nero in Italian) is about a mysterious feline who goes around murdering the local villagers in England (…speaking of England, I wonder if he offed my brother Sky by any chance). However there’s a twist. Y’see, the cat’s owner is Robert Miles played by Patrick Magee who was previously, a college professor and get this…he’s some sort of medium that records “audio” from the graves of the deceased…with a microphone! Uh, yeah.

What the fuck is this, Brian DePalma’s Blowout?

"This will be the last time you piss on my Carper you little Shit"!

“This will be the last time you piss on my carpet you little Shit”!

 

Come to think of it, this is the perfect segue to point out that the composer of Black Cat is the same guy from that movie, Pino Donaggio, who in fact does a remarkable intro theme with a montage of the titular cat walking through the English village right after causing a fatal car crash of some poor dumb bastid.

As you can see from the thumbnail above, there’s the name of the actress Mimsy Farmer who serves as the female protagonist- Jill Trevers. (Sounds a bit too familiar like those characters from the Resident Evil- games if you ask me.)  Jill,  an American Tourist/Photographer discovers a microphone left on the floor nearby an open crypt while taking pictures for her Scrapbook.

blackcat (1)

Regardless of the warning from the local police Sergeant  (Al Cliver) who told her that the dead don’t like to be disturbed, this nosy bitch disregards the “Po-po’s” slice of advice and ventures further into unraveling the mystery of the mini-microphone which leads her into the path of the Professor. While lecturing her on the barriers of perception, Miles makes an attempt to hypnotize Jill but to no avail thanks to a certain furry fiend????

blackcats4big

Meanwhile, a horny-ass teenage couple, who locked themselves in some airtight room so they can fuck, only to get fucked!

After the unfortunate circumstances of the missing teens, and a few other “accidents”  fear and suspicion draws closer around the reclusive Professor and his “friend”. What is the bizarre connection between Miles and the Black Cat?

black_cat2

"Wasn't me."

“What?”

 

This here film is a standout from Lucio’s traditional Spaghetti sauce splatterfests because in spite of a few violent deaths, they weren’t over the top when compared to the likes of Zombi, New York Ripper, City of the Living Dead etc.

The Black Cat is more like a Supernatural mystery tale with the emphasis on what were the cat’s motives for killing the innocent villagers? I was impressed by some of the cinematic imagery and one in particular, would be the fog covered graveyard scene which gives off that common spooky element trope, but very effective nonetheless. That being said, “Il Lucio” should have shown more T&A but at least there was one scene involving a bare breasted Female….decomposed….*Runs to  Litter Box to puke Hairballs*

Poor Maureen. Ya got Fucked by a "Pussy"!

Poor Maureen. Ya got Fucked by a “Pussy”!

 

That being said, there were too many eye close ups of the main characters in this movie. It’s almost reminiscent of that tense standoff between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris in Way of the Dragon.

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“………..”

"Nigga, please".

“Nigga, please”.

 

In spite of any shortcomings, this here Cat, highly recommend that you give Il Gatto Nero a watch. Its not “Puuurrrrfect” (Bet you didnt see that one comin!) but its a worthy ol Fulci classic just for that Special spooky occasion .

Happy Halloween!

Author Image

Stalkeye

Stalkeye= anagram of Stalker and Snake Eyes. Satirist, Gamer, Artist and Pop Culture commentator- Stalks offers his outspoken views on on most things Geek related as well as WTF is wrong with the world today!

  • fangs_television

    Nice article, Ollie. Sounds like it’s pretty different from the story.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Nice article, Ollie. I am wondering of this article is biased considering you are of the feline persuasion yourself?

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    I’ve never seen this in its entirety as it’s one of Fulci’s lesser known movies, but it looks promising.

    For me, the problem would be that the cat’s obviously supposed to exude eerie menace – vis-a-vis the atmospheric title sequence – yet, being a cat lover and non-superstitious, the little fella just looks like a cute kitty out for a stroll through the village to my eyes. I fear I’d be on the side of the cat more than the “victims”. Perhaps that’s what it wants!

  • Bop

    Cans of catfood for ya, Ollie.

  • Ollie

    Wut happened to that Miserable fucker anyway?

    Oh, he got kicked out of SN.

    Sowwies, Mein Freund I just couldn’t resist.

  • Today is national day of the cat, by the way.

  • Ollie

    “the little fella just looks like a cute kitty out for a stroll through the village to my eyes.”

    And that’s how the Fulc fools ya. Looks can be deceiving, BUAHAHAHAH!

    But watch the rest of the movie for that somewhat predictable twist. *WINK*

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    What’s New Pussycat…WoooooooooooWoooooooooooooWooooooooooWoooooooooo

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    I like it! Nice job you puss

  • Ollie

    Thanks Me Boyo! And as for me being a Cat doing a review about a Cat themed film, sometimes ya just gotta represent! Its a no brainier!!

    I give The Black Cat 3 and a half Guinness stouts out of 5!

    https://www.missionliquor.com/images/products/14823_236f972ef69fc2663b82045b94f2cb19.jpg

  • Ollie

    Thanks, Fwank!

    There are a few similarities between Fulci’s adaptation and EAP’s original story.

    there definitely is a “motive” of why the cat had killed certain individuals and its possibly one of the oldest intentions in History. Heh-heh.

  • I gotta try and dig up some more Fulci. I have just a few titles

  • Ollie

    Dank je mijn broer!

    Bop voor het leven!

  • Ollie

    Just fillin in for the boss, tis all.

  • Ollie

    Its the not so popular stuff, that we tend to ignore only to find out that its actually good.

  • Ollie

    Mrrrooow!!

  • mean, lol

  • Ollie

    OK, Here’s proof that I actually watched this Movie!????????????

  • Ollie

    That’s for the Danzig fan in ya, Dee. Speaking of whom, the Poddy is still in the works. That Fucker is too lackadaisical when it comes to getting that project finished!

    Jus sayin.

  • 😀

  • Jen Hallowitched

    I dont think I will ever see a kitty kitty kitty the same way again ;)…..that was riveting……thanks…erm Ollie 😉

  • Ollie
  • Stalkeye

    Ollie expresses his gratitude by sending you his poser pic. XD

  • Jen Hallowitched

    aw love him already! 😉

  • Dr. Geiszler, Kaijuologist

    Daw.

  • Stalkeye