Trailer Analysis – Super Bowl 2015 Roundup Trailer Analysis – Super Bowl 2015 Roundup
This time, I will take a look at the most important (?) trailers that aired during the Super Bowl breaks. Trailers I ignored: Terminator:... Trailer Analysis – Super Bowl 2015 Roundup

This time, I will take a look at the most important (?) trailers that aired during the Super Bowl breaks.

Trailers I ignored: Terminator: Genisys and Kingsman: The Secret Service, as they are almost identical with the first trailers.
Pitch Perfect 2, Insurgent, Hot Tub Time Machine 2 and Unfinished Business, as I either refuse to watch them or don’t deem them to be worthy to write about them.

Furious 7

Thoughts: Suddenly “family values” and BBQ parties are a thing in the FF universe. I guess you cannot ride the “reckless grim outsider” wave forever, especially after you reached a certain age.
Thankfully, some things never change though: Diesel still has the voice of a redneck trucker and Jason Statham is still searching for charisma. Well, at least we have the magnificent presence of Dwayne Johnson (whom you could paint green at this point and cast for Avengers 3 to save some money), still in full action figure mode (with a mini-gun!) to compensate for those two chumps. Honestly the best moment of the trailer.
My personal problem with the franchise is, that despite it improving vastly after the first two (horrendous) instalments (I have not seen Part VI though), it is still just mildly amusing if well made at best and rarely hits that sweet spot of OTT action entertainment with almost transcendental qualities which the makers obviously aim for.
I think this can mostly led back to Vin Diesel’s self-important, “trying too hard” leading man persona that lacks the unique melange of effortless coolness combined with self-deprecating humour that distinguishes classic action heroes like Arnie or even to some lesser degree, Dwayne Johnson.
Furthermore I don’t dig the cheap video game aesthetic of the CGI in the skyscraper jump scene, which prevents it from being really involving, but there is still some time till release to brush it up.

Jurassic World

Thoughts: “It’s killing for sport.” As if that would make any difference for its prey! This trailer makes the film admittedly look much better and more fun than the last one. But still not “good”, mind you!
Many, many callbacks to Part1: a Gallimimus stampede, a dinosaur trying to crush a windshield to eat the delicious kids behind it, an almost identical shot of a helicopter approaching the island and so on…
Best scene: The pteranodons (?) picking up the park visitors. I doubt that a flying animal as lightweight as that could pick up a grown up human, but maybe someone of you can educate me on that.
Best reveal: The “raptor training” rumours are true, for better or for worse. Pratt is convincing as “straight” leading man, but just barely. Keep this man away from Fedoras and whips.
Fact: Maybe this trailer feels better than the preceding one, because they actually improved the scenes.

Ted 2

Thoughts: You know in what regard Jason Statham is ahead of Seth MacFarlane? He does not desperately try to disprove the fact that he has no sense of humour whatsoever.

Tomorrowland

Thoughts: This trailer has Damon Lindelof’s (writer) greasy fingerprints all over it and there is sadly no trace of Brad Bird’s (director) influence- yet.
I was surprised that this is apparently no “Bad Robot” production, because the trailer features all of the company’s trademarks: Bland TV-visuals, faux-Spielbergian “sense of wonder” including countless shots of kids staring open-mouthed at the camera in amazement and of course the dreaded “mystery box”- approach.
Clooney looks bored and does not even attempt to sell his ridiculous “Buckle up!” line. And the shiny design of the eponymous “Tomorrowland” is generic and boring. Pass.

Seventh Son

Thoughts: Too little, too late. I am not surprised this has been sitting on the shelf for a long time, as the Fantasy wave that was sparked by LOTR and Harry Potter has ended a few years ago. The genre grew up and went to TV in the shape of Game of Thrones and it will take some time till this naive kind of YA novel Fantasy feels fresh again. It does not help the cause that Bridges still sounds like the Dude in the voiceover.
PS: Isn’t the crappy song that is used in the trailer the same one as in the (equally awful) Terminator: Geriatris teaser? I cannot understand today’s kids and their music anymore.

Fifty Shades of Grey

Thoughts: Still looks bad. Who again wants to see a relentlessly passionate, boundary-pushing and in its excesses borderline dangerous affair between two very homely looking people?
The same target audience that prefers its BDSM- themed movie dramas filmed like a commercial of an insurance company, that’s who.
Trivia: Note the scene with the sailplane- the ’93 erotic thriller classic (haha) Sliver originally included a similar scene of the protagonists flying a helicopter into a volcano crater (!) for the purpose of sexy, oh so sexy thrill-seeking, but it was cut after the test audience found it to be too corny. Food for thoughts.

PS: Watch out for the upcoming BOPX episode about BDSM-themed movies, to be released on Feb, 10th!

Minions

Thoughts: Not really a trailer, but very funny. Funnier than Seth MacFarlane could ever hope to be.

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Thoughts: By far the best trailer on this list. Spongebob 4 life.

Now let’s all take a minute of silence to commemorate Bruce, the shark whose corpse is depicted in the header image. Friends described Bruce as “friendly, warmhearted and outgoing”. Everybody agrees that he was a loyal person you could always rely on.
Bruce loved cooking and travelling and he was an avid dancer. He was far too young to leave this world. RIP

shark

 

 

 

Author Image

DetectiveDee

Detective Dee reviews movies and sometimes TV-series. He likes to indulge in the Asian cinema, exploitation flicks and the horror genre but is no stranger to Blockbuster culture either. He writes whatever he wants, but always aims to entertain.

  • I_am_better

    Well, I guess I don’t have to cover the superbowl trailers in Fridays “Spinning Headlines” now…. It will be a single paragraph column, lol

  • Dee

    refresh, I added something

  • I_am_better

    Make that zero paragraphs. This weeks “Headlines” is cancelled…

  • CreepyThinMan

    I’m probably going to see SpongBob. And why does that dancing shark look soo sad?!?FACT!!!

  • Meh.

  • Dee

    Yeah, not my fault!

  • Can’t polish a turd.

  • Abe

    As opposed to all the happy back up dancers of the world.

  • Abe

    Headline: Det Dee Robs IAB of all news.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    I’m seeing Spongebob on Saturday.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Man, Jurassic World looks fucking stupid.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Seth Rogan did.

  • True, This Is the End rocks.

  • Abe

    Does “rocks” mean something different in Canada?

  • I believe the definition is “humorous in a side-splitting capacity that is incomprehensible to the typical uneducated and inbred American trough eating swine”

  • Dee

    No doubt about it.

  • Abe

    Noted!

  • I_am_better

    Maybe I’ll do Imaginary Headlines. News that everybody would like to read but have zero chance of ever coming through.

  • Abe

    Det Dee writes glowing review of Joss Whedon’s latest project!

  • I_am_better

    HBO and Frank Darabont begin production of Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower”

  • Abe

    Missing footage found of the The Magnificent Ambersons

  • I_am_better

    Dredd 2 gets a green light

  • Abe

    Seth Rogen to star in American Sniper 2

  • I_am_better

    No. That’s too disgusting even for an Imaginary headline

  • Abe

    Halle Berry to star in her own spy franchise called Jinx.

  • I_am_better

    See? Now you ruined it, lol

  • Abe

    Slate Fistcrunch ruins Spinning Headlines. IAB plans lawsuit.

  • I_am_better

    Nah, I’ll scrape the bottom of the interweb to find something….

  • Stalkeye

    Speaking of “Bruce” WTF ever happened to The Bruce Awards?!?

    Maybe Pucky can get this finally done, cause obviously, it seems that Finn is still occupied with his “Coke and Whores”© (0:’

  • Stalkeye

    We’ll be taking the Goddaughter to see it opening Weekend.
    Yes, she’s also a fan of that Yellow Crabby Patty making Fucker.

  • Stalkeye

    You ignored Pitch Perfect 2?

    No love for Rebel Wilson? Wassup with that? XD

  • Stalkeye

    Well, yes and no.
    Compared to 50 Shades of Grey, JP looks like Star Wars!

  • Dee

    Well, Brucebait looks like DOA.

  • Abe

    Dear God. I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life, but on my deathbed I will wish I had these 3 mins back.

  • Dee

    Yeah, but does it look like Star Trek?

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    At least it 50 Shades will have titties.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    PFFFFT.

    I was talking about how the Sony hack was used to sell The Interview to the public. No one gave a fuck until it became “forbidden.”

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Oh yeah, “This Is the End” was high art.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    I want to see it in 3-D but my little one will just fuck with her glasses and probably aggrivate me with them.

  • Stalkeye

    Call me ol skool, but I prefer 2-D Movies over 3-D, which can be a bit distracting at times. IMO it really doesn’t really add much to a Film besides the obvious aesthetic.
    You’ll enjoy the Movie regardless. (0=

  • Stalkeye

    Y’know, I can’t argue with you on that.
    ZIIIINNNNGGGGGG!

  • Stalkeye

    Y’know, I always liked “Evil Spock” from that episode. (Mirror, Mirror I think.) Time for a rewatch.

  • Kylo Ronin

    LMMFAO.

  • Kylo Ronin

    Boo.

  • Kylo Ronin

    BOO!

  • Kylo Ronin

    Not true. Was looking forward to watching it last year.

  • Kylo Ronin

    Jurassic World FOR THE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING WIN.

  • Conspiracyin559

    50 Shades is BDSM for stay at home Mormon moms poppin Xanax by the hand full as they wait for their nightly 5 minute missionary session to get the litter up to 12; and it eschews the chunky emotionally damaged female doms, paunchy middle aged men in the midst of a gender identity crisis, and shit covered strap-ons of the real thing.

    Still…it’ll have titties….to bad JP won’t.

  • Kylo Ronin

    Tomorrowland looks like it’s the bomb.

  • Dee

    A bomb? Absolutely, yes.

  • Kylo Ronin

    Lmao, gotta watch my wording.

  • CreepyThinMan

    Why is this fat fuck famous?!? Or is this a part of the “NEW NORMAL” where Sports Illustrated now has some land whale called Ashley Graham in their swimsuit edition!?! SJW’s and feminazi cunts are trying to say that this bitch is “healthy” and “full figured”…….NO! Monica Bellucci or Kelly Brook (ten years ago) were full figured. THIS CUNT IS FAT!!!FACT!!!

  • Stalkeye

    LMMFAO still doable!! (Not Rebel but this Chick on the Pic).. (Better her size than Obese/Morbidly Obese, if anything, I consider Lena Dunham, Fucking fat and don’t get me started on Rebel Wilson (cute face, but horrid body.) or Gabby Sidibue! I (BTW, I was looking forward to your contribution to Scott’s Cronenberg Book. WTF happened, Man?!?)

    There are more and more women that are Plus sized especially in America. ergo old Friend, certain Models are being Marketed as that “New normal”.
    Personally, I love Full Figured women. cause nothin is as sexy as grabbing a thick Ass, while pushing from behind. (0:’

    Not crazy about waifs especially If a woman’s ribs is exposed like some HR Geiger illustration.

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Seventh Son has 0% on Rotten tomatoes lol. Ooops.

    Jupiter Ascending is still languishing as well. I hope people give it the benefit of the doubt and watch it.

  • Kylo Ronin

    Upvote for the second paragraph.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    This needs to be posted everywhere.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    WINNER OF STUPID! NYAAAAAAAAA!

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    This is my kind of woman! Yup, I like the big ladies!

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    You also think Jurassic World looks good. 😉

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Oh yeah, either way is fine. I must admit, though, that I eat 3-D up. It’s a fascination that goes back to when I was a little kid. I just get a thrill out of that dumb gimmick.

    I saw “Life of Pi” in 3-D and it was fucking mesmerizing and was a perfect tool to tell the story.

  • Conspiracyin559

    Feel free to post away… I speak from experience. lol

  • Kylo Ronin

    Yeah. And Freddy Got Fingered still hasn’t gotten any laughs from me at all. 😛

  • Stalkeye

    Life of Pi showcased excellent use of 3D. However, I was more impressed with the CGI “Richard Parker”, Other than that, when watching 3D Movies especially superhero Movies, “Viewmaster” often comes to mind.

  • Stalkeye

    I banged like ’em from Medium to Voluptuous. I’m really don’t have a preference for Skinny Chicks especially beanpoles/waifs cause a brotha like me need a lil thick for my Kung fu grip®!!

  • Stalkeye

    Thanks, Roni!

    Do you at least agree that you would do Ashley?
    (0:<

  • Stalkeye

    Wats Bruce…oh, that site that I never bothered to sign up with. I noticed that some of you guys who did, got a big share of Downvotes. (WTF was that all about?!?)
    While i give Finn kudos Props for making a bridge between former Talkbackers, there are some that are still feeling the sting via fallout.

  • Abe

    This was the comment of the week on the Big Show.

    http://thesupernaughts.com/the-big-show/the-supernaughts-big-show-volume-4/

  • Abe

    Well done! You got the comment of the week on the Big Show!

    http://thesupernaughts.com/the-big-show/the-supernaughts-big-show-volume-4/

  • Kylo Ronin

    Probably.

  • Stalkeye

    I take it as a Yes. 😛

  • coolhandjuke

    I hope her pussy is as meaty as those thighs…

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Post-conversion 3-D definitely suffers from “viewmaster syndrome.” I saw Man of Steel in IMAX 3-D, and while I loved the whole experience, there were some moments where the 3-D did not work.

  • Champagne Disqus

    Oh thank god. Where would my life be without the existence of trained dinos.

  • Champagne Disqus

    50 Shades of Grey looks like a winner!

  • Dee

    Does it?