This time, I will take a look at the most important (?) trailers that aired during the Super Bowl breaks.
Trailers I ignored: Terminator: Genisys and Kingsman: The Secret Service, as they are almost identical with the first trailers.
Pitch Perfect 2, Insurgent, Hot Tub Time Machine 2 and Unfinished Business, as I either refuse to watch them or don’t deem them to be worthy to write about them.
Thoughts: Suddenly “family values” and BBQ parties are a thing in the FF universe. I guess you cannot ride the “reckless grim outsider” wave forever, especially after you reached a certain age.
Thankfully, some things never change though: Diesel still has the voice of a redneck trucker and Jason Statham is still searching for charisma. Well, at least we have the magnificent presence of Dwayne Johnson (whom you could paint green at this point and cast for Avengers 3 to save some money), still in full action figure mode (with a mini-gun!) to compensate for those two chumps. Honestly the best moment of the trailer.
My personal problem with the franchise is, that despite it improving vastly after the first two (horrendous) instalments (I have not seen Part VI though), it is still just mildly amusing if well made at best and rarely hits that sweet spot of OTT action entertainment with almost transcendental qualities which the makers obviously aim for.
I think this can mostly led back to Vin Diesel’s self-important, “trying too hard” leading man persona that lacks the unique melange of effortless coolness combined with self-deprecating humour that distinguishes classic action heroes like Arnie or even to some lesser degree, Dwayne Johnson.
Furthermore I don’t dig the cheap video game aesthetic of the CGI in the skyscraper jump scene, which prevents it from being really involving, but there is still some time till release to brush it up.
Thoughts: “It’s killing for sport.” As if that would make any difference for its prey! This trailer makes the film admittedly look much better and more fun than the last one. But still not “good”, mind you!
Many, many callbacks to Part1: a Gallimimus stampede, a dinosaur trying to crush a windshield to eat the delicious kids behind it, an almost identical shot of a helicopter approaching the island and so on…
Best scene: The pteranodons (?) picking up the park visitors. I doubt that a flying animal as lightweight as that could pick up a grown up human, but maybe someone of you can educate me on that.
Best reveal: The “raptor training” rumours are true, for better or for worse. Pratt is convincing as “straight” leading man, but just barely. Keep this man away from Fedoras and whips.
Fact: Maybe this trailer feels better than the preceding one, because they actually improved the scenes.
Thoughts: You know in what regard Jason Statham is ahead of Seth MacFarlane? He does not desperately try to disprove the fact that he has no sense of humour whatsoever.
Thoughts: This trailer has Damon Lindelof’s (writer) greasy fingerprints all over it and there is sadly no trace of Brad Bird’s (director) influence- yet.
I was surprised that this is apparently no “Bad Robot” production, because the trailer features all of the company’s trademarks: Bland TV-visuals, faux-Spielbergian “sense of wonder” including countless shots of kids staring open-mouthed at the camera in amazement and of course the dreaded “mystery box”- approach.
Clooney looks bored and does not even attempt to sell his ridiculous “Buckle up!” line. And the shiny design of the eponymous “Tomorrowland” is generic and boring. Pass.
Thoughts: Too little, too late. I am not surprised this has been sitting on the shelf for a long time, as the Fantasy wave that was sparked by LOTR and Harry Potter has ended a few years ago. The genre grew up and went to TV in the shape of Game of Thrones and it will take some time till this naive kind of YA novel Fantasy feels fresh again. It does not help the cause that Bridges still sounds like the Dude in the voiceover.
PS: Isn’t the crappy song that is used in the trailer the same one as in the (equally awful) Terminator: Geriatris teaser? I cannot understand today’s kids and their music anymore.
Fifty Shades of Grey
Thoughts: Still looks bad. Who again wants to see a relentlessly passionate, boundary-pushing and in its excesses borderline dangerous affair between two very homely looking people?
The same target audience that prefers its BDSM- themed movie dramas filmed like a commercial of an insurance company, that’s who.
Trivia: Note the scene with the sailplane- the ’93 erotic thriller classic (haha) Sliver originally included a similar scene of the protagonists flying a helicopter into a volcano crater (!) for the purpose of sexy, oh so sexy thrill-seeking, but it was cut after the test audience found it to be too corny. Food for thoughts.
PS: Watch out for the upcoming BOPX episode about BDSM-themed movies, to be released on Feb, 10th!
Thoughts: Not really a trailer, but very funny. Funnier than Seth MacFarlane could ever hope to be.
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water
Thoughts: By far the best trailer on this list. Spongebob 4 life.
Now let’s all take a minute of silence to commemorate Bruce, the shark whose corpse is depicted in the header image. Friends described Bruce as “friendly, warmhearted and outgoing”. Everybody agrees that he was a loyal person you could always rely on.
Bruce loved cooking and travelling and he was an avid dancer. He was far too young to leave this world. RIP