Dee’s Top 9 Guilty Pleasure movies from 2000-2015 Dee’s Top 9 Guilty Pleasure movies from 2000-2015
What defines a “Guilty Pleasure”? The notion that the concept of a “Guilty Pleasure” should be dropped altogether, has become popular lately, as it... Dee’s Top 9 Guilty Pleasure movies from 2000-2015

What defines a “Guilty Pleasure”?

The notion that the concept of a “Guilty Pleasure” should be dropped altogether, has become popular lately, as it indicates that one is supposed to feel shame about something he/she likes, which is hypocritical.

While I, as someone who is against the strict separation of how to perceive art in any shape (like the division of “popular” and “serious” art), do fully agree with this notion, I still think the term “Guilty Pleasure” has some validity to it and should not be dismissed completely. Because everybody still enjoys a certain number of movies, music etc. that goes against his/her personal tastes, world views, sensibilities, and so on, against his/her own expectations.

Using the term “Guilty Pleasures” loosely – the following choices are defined as such for very different reasons I will elaborate on*- I present you my personal Top 9 “Guilty Pleasure” movies from the time frame of 2000-2015.

*In any case, this list was mainly created for the purpose of entertainment.


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Why I should hate it:

  • It’s a rather unneeded revitalization of a franchise that has been relentlessly kiddified over the years.
  • It stars Megan Fox in a leading role, rarely a signifier for a good movie.
  • The humanoid redesigns of the Turtles are kind of jarring.
  • It is produced by Platinum Dunes, probably the worst film production company out there, founded by the cinematic Antichrist Michael Bay and specialized on putting out reaaaally crappy horror movie remakes.

But…

There is potential to make it a genuinely good and not merely enjoyable movie, but that was squandered by using a slightly confused “Frankenscript” that was spliced from 5 or more drafts, including tedious origin story conventions and the silliest reveal in recent film history. Yet simultaneously, said reveal is also a milestone of unintentional hilarity (hint: it concerns the origin of the Turtles) that will be hard to beat in the future. What’s pretty surprising though is the fact how accurately they nailed the personalities of the Turtles (whose new design works better in motion). Okay, Splinter getting his Martial Arts wisdom from a self-learning book is kind of lame, but let’s be honest, the original version was not really much better in that regard. The action is also  pretty fun and well-shot, not a given in a Bay-production. It also has Megan Fox jumping on a trampoline, for reasons.

foxturtles


Poseidon (2006)

Why I should hate it:

  • The disaster movie genre has never been exactly a favourite of mine. It never proved to be a paragon of quality movies either and looks to be almost unsalvageable after Roland Emmerich got it into his greedy clutch.
  • What was Wolfgang Petersen’s last good, or at least enjoyable movie?
  • Josh Lucas in the lead.
  • Nostalgia aside, the original wasn’t all that. Let’s be honest.

But…

Make no mistake, this movie is still a piece of shit, if a very well-made one. But, in an unexpected twist, it unintentionally is almost simultaneously an examination and spoof of all the genre tropes and conventions I hate about it. Like the simplistic characterization and the off-putting social-darwinist undertone with its self-righteous, half-true messages about how people show their “real” face in extreme situations and how nature judges us all equally, etc.
Poseidon takes those cliches to new extremes with a baffling earnestness and thereby accidentally reveals their reactionist underpinnings, but even more important, it crosses the line into delightful camp territory. Every convention is amped up to 11: Calling the characters woodcut-like is not an insult to woodcuts (*not sure if that analogy works, but you get the drift). You immediately know Kurt Russell must be the greatest of all heroes, as he is an ex-firefighter and former mayor of NYC (remember, that was post-9/11). Kevin Dillon is the sleazy opportunist, identifiable by the John Waters-moustache and the Hawaii shirt. The moment he says something particularly opportunistic and egotistical, an engine crashes through the ceiling and crushes him. Seriously.

Josh Lucas is just the main hero, with no personality at all, as always. Freddy Rodriguez is the hard-working Mexican immigrant, who finds a needlessly aggressive demise by getting tossed into an elevator shaft, only to be impaled by rusty spikes on the bottom and subsequently being crushed by a burning elevator, after Josh Lucas told Richard Dreyfuss to shake him off following a risky climb. Petersen sure loves to let things fall on actors! It’s not the only occasion where the “heroes” are revealed to be quite some assholes, which just adds to the fun for the discerning trash-connaisseur. It’s a little complicated to explain without delving into endless plot descriptions, but if you follow the dialogue and plot closely, you will notice that they are also dooming the other survivors at the bottom of the ship with their actions to get to the surface. If you are inclined, you will appreciate Poseidon as a treasure chest overflowing with gold/shit.

poseidon


I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

Why I should hate it:

  • The movie was a star-vehicle for Lindsay Lohan during her party animal prime, when she was still omnipresent in the tabloid headlines.
  • Everything about the production screams “crap”.
  • To add insult to injury, Lohan plays a stripper who went to the “Jessica Alba school for Exotic Dancing”, means she never sheds a piece of clothing. ‘Nuff said.

But…

Another underappreciated masterpiece of unintentional hilarity. The exact plot description might give you a headache, just let me say that it involves Lohan in her first double role since Parent Trap (1998), a flamboyant serial killer who mutilates female piano students and an artificial leg whose battery (!?) always runs low in the most unfortunate moments. Picture it as a Gaga- Giallo-homage that tries to appeal to horror hounds, underage Lohan-fans and amputee-porn fans at the same time. Solid. Gold.

Downloaded from www.sexydesktop.co.uk


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

Why I should hate it:

  • The terrible, terrible Stephen Sommers took place in the director’s chair.
  • It’s another thinly veiled excuse for pouring an avalanche of mediocre CGI over the screen, accompanied by LOUD NOISES.
  • The first major toy-based franchise, Transformers, felt like a bad omen for things to come.
  • It features the questionable ensemble of Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans and Sienna Miller, whose back-catalogues aren’t exactly instilling hope.

But…

My friend and appreciated co-Supernaught Stalkeye will vehemently disagree with this choice, as he is known as a diehard fan of the source material and from his perspective, I can fully understand that stance, as the film makers apparently took a lot of “creative freedoms”. But as someone who is not familiar with the mythology of G.I. Joe at all, I took the movie as it is and was surprised how much it entertained me. First, while it might not be a great adaptation of G.I. Joe, it is still pitch-perfect as a live-action adaptation of an action figure- based franchise in general, in terms of visuals, (silly) story and tone. What sets Rise of Cobra apart from other tedious, borderline unwatchable CGI spectacles like Transformers and Battleship is its oddly sincere and almost naive tone. The earnestness and focus with which this movie tries to tell its ludicrous story is nothing short of impressive, a welcome change of pace from the cynicism and disjointedness of the aforementioned “Bayformers”. In supporting roles shine a hammy Christopher Eccleston, the underrated Rachel Nicols and, the secret star of the movie, Dennis Quaid, who chews the (CGI-) scenery with his incredibly straight-faced performance as General Hawk.

cobra


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DetectiveDee

Detective Dee reviews movies and sometimes TV-series. He likes to indulge in the Asian cinema, exploitation flicks and the horror genre but is no stranger to Blockbuster culture either. He writes whatever he wants, but always aims to entertain.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Good stuff. I agree with TMNT, Freddy vs Jason, Hot Tub Time Machine, and Jason X.

  • Dee-abolik

    I think you could dig “I know who killed me”.

  • Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Scorpion King? Wut? Lol No taking piss out of my taste in films anymore 😉

    Got a soft spot for Posidon as well.

  • Dee-abolik

    Scorpion King is life.

  • I_am_better

    Agree about “Poseidon” and “GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra”
    On to the next page….

  • I_am_better

    “Freddy vs. Jason” – oh yeah. I’d almost bundle it up with “Jason X”

  • I_am_better
  • Dee-abolik

    that’s a different time frame

  • I_am_better

    Goddammit. Some day I need to learn how to read. What can I say? I only live in the 90’s…
    XD

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    I think Jason X should’ve made the cut. I always liked that movie and found it well-paced and entertaining; I’ve no idea why the majority of F13 fans seem to hate it. Perhaps it’s because it was clearly intended as a parody. The series had long descended into farce by that point, so why the hell not mock its tropes (Jason wracks up a death count of a billion at a single stroke; attacks a holographic representation of libidinous teenagers) and do it in a fun way? Also, it featured Jason killing David Cronenberg, which was borderline surreal.

    I found Freddy Vs Jason to be rather boring in comparison.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Poseidon wasn’t that bad, stock characters aside. Petersen can at least milk tension out of boats and water.

  • Dee-abolik

    It’s among the runner ups.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    I know – it should have made the top nine, IMO.

  • Dee-abolik

    thinking about it, it might be the more entertaining movie, yes. oh well

  • ‍‍ ‍‍

    Not a fan of the “guilty pleasure” tag, so thanks for the clarification and I suppose it’s a blanket term that makes it easy for people to know what you’re talking about.
    Good list. I’ve been meaning to watch Turtles.

  • CoolHandJuke

    Scorpion King is a fine movie. i remember going to see it when everyone was lined up for Episode 2…

  • Bop

    I found the concept of Jason X pretty cool, i.e. Jason wakes up in space years later.
    There were so many possibilities. The problem I had with it is that it looked too slick and clean in comparison to my faves 6,7 and 8. I also had the feeling I was not watching a Jason movie but a movie with Jason as the special guest.

    As for Freddy vs Jason. Apart from the end battle I found it a total stinker of a movie. So much more could have been done with it. How difficult is it to make a good story involving 2 horror icons?

  • Bop

    You mean Kelly Hu. 😉

  • Bop

    I seem to be stuck in the 80s.

  • Dee-abolik

    good choice

  • Dee-abolik

    Thank you! Check out TMNT, you will be entertained.

  • Dee-abolik

    oh lord

  • I_am_better

    There too

  • Stalkeye

    After reading Dee’s number four choice, Stalks be like…

    http://brainfag.com/journal/taxtime.jpg

  • Stalkeye

    Actually, I like Blood and Freddy vs Jason and don’t feel any “guilt” whatsoever. (0=

  • Stalkeye

    What better decade to be stuck in?

  • Stalkeye

    So that makes Bop, Dee and now you in favor of Rise of Cobra?
    Perhaps I should mail one of you my Blu Ray copy which was given to me as a Christmas present.
    Actually, I would have preferred a lump of coal instead.

  • Dee-abolik

    I knew…

  • Dee-abolik

    No need to!

  • Bop

    I don’t know. Midnight Run, American Ninja, Robocop, Lethal Weapon. Cobra, Nico, The Wraith, Tango & Cash, Commando, Predator, First Blood, Three O’Clock High. They don’t make movies like that anymore.

  • Dee-abolik

    Ask Asi…

  • Stalkeye

    Are you thinkin’ what I’m thinking?
    😎

  • Sagamanus

    Scorpion King? Hmh.

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    I’ve been meaning to watch that.

  • Captain Genius

    i fucking hated tmnt. however, i loved the fuck out of the second one that just came out. i can’t wait for the blu ray. and as much as i hate the first gi joe movie it’s a damn masterpiece compared to the second one.

  • Stalkeye

    “as i hate the first gi joe movie it’s a damn masterpiece compared to the second one.”
    Aw, Hell naw! Rise of Cobra was bad on so many levels. The second one at least got a few things right like Cobra Commander and the film was more akin to Larry Hama’s vision than Rise of Cobra.
    So tempted to do a rebuttal opinion piece….

  • Stalkeye

    On the contrary, i loathed “Jasonator” and liked Freddy vs Jason even if it didn’t meet my expectations. Jason in “Spaaaaaccccccee” was too far fetched. That’s as bad as having a geriatric Terminator….oh wait..!
    http://static5.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11111/111114711/4966366-arnold-smile.jpg

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    “Jason in “Spaaaaaccccccee” was too far fetched.”

    I think that was the point. They were just following the ludicrous nineties trend of horror franchises going into space (Hellraiser, Leprechaun, Critters, etc.), so I saw it as a deliberate joke on the filmmakers’ part.

    As for T-Gen, that’s another guilty pleasure! Well, for me, anyway. XD

  • Dee-abolik

    better than riddick

  • Stalkeye

    I was equally facepalming at Hellraiser: Bloodlines. However, the backstories which focused on the mythology was the saving grace sorta speak.I didn’t bother to watch Leprechaun in the hood. Maybe I should let the Boyos have at it and post a review. *Evil grin*
    Genesys was the last attempt at resurrecting the ailing Termy franchise and it failed.Now that its available on Amazon Prime, perhaps I may rewatch it to see if it’s better second time around.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Great stuff. I find the lack of Piscopo disturbing.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I thought Sommers had a oromising career. Deep Rising was fun with 3rd rate Harrison Ford replacement Treat Williams and an almost impossibly beautiful Famke Janssen. The first Mummy was the best Raiders Rip off ever and better than KOTCS. He has sucked since then. Havent seen the GI Joe.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I was underwhelmed in Freddy vs Jason.

  • Tarmac492.1

    love Freejack. saw it in theaters

  • Tarmac492.1

    Hot Tub Time Machine had some good bits

  • Captain Genius

    and then i would do a rebuttal piece on that article. the circle of hate never ends. yo joe!

  • And then I’ll do an opinionated piece on why Robotech is better than Macross. 😛

  • Here ya go!

  • As for GP’s I would have to go with..

  • Also Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth. That was a effing classic!

  • Dee-abolik

    I know! But that is due to a disturbing lack of Piscopo on the cast lists!

  • Dee-abolik

    Deep Rising is fun, so is the first Mummy. Then he went overboard.

  • Dee-abolik

    Surprisingly it had.

  • Dee-abolik

    that’s far outside my chosen timeframe though

  • Tarmac492.1

    a vast hollywood conspiracy to keep piscopo down.

  • Dee-abolik

    the German title of Deep Rising is “Octalus”, lol

  • Oops! 😆

  • Tarmac492.1

    that is actually very cool sounding. Much better than the generic Deep Rising. Octalus gives it a cool Toho or Amicus International feel.

  • Bop

    I was wondering. Do you also do podcasts in German/Austrian?

  • Dee-abolik

    No. My only geek community is here.

  • Dee-abolik

    The way you put it, yes.

  • Sagamanus

    Lol. Crazytalk.

  • Dee-abolik

    truth is hard to accept, eh

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Yes, like that chick’s rack in the bathtub scene.

  • Zed

    Deep Rising is an accidental masterpiece. Gets better every time I watch it.

  • Captain Genius

    that would be a fucking act of war

  • Captain Genius

    didn’t care for that one. loved the tag line though. “everyone fights” i really liked this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZfstcLwSXI

  • Captain Genius
  • Captain Genius

    as did i. i don’t know if i love it, but i love the james brown guns

  • Captain Genius

    go for it. i’d like to hear your thoughts.

  • KilliK
  • KilliK

    entertaining but it was the moment when they turned Pinhead into a pulpy HW monster and moving aways from the themes of the two previous films.

  • Are you kidding? JUNK was fun although silly, but if you like the campiness of House of the Dead, (Not the shitty Uwe Boll Movie but the game itself) you can’t really go wrong with this movie that paid some homage to Lucio Fulci.

    http://thesupernaughts.com/movies/horror/osaka-punch-dead-reckoning-round-0-battle-girl-vs-junk/

    Never heard of BioZombie, but I shall look into it.

  • Captain Genius

    well the whole thing is right there. it’s basically asian abbot and costello meet the zombies.

  • Bro, I’ll check it out on my Smart TV’s Youtube app. I can’t watch a damn thing while at work. ):

  • Bop

    Bummer, would have loved to do one in German.

  • Dee-abolik

    hm we still could… but where?

  • Bop

    I have no clue.

  • Toruk_Makto

    Fergie really is a bit of a freak isn’t she?

  • Toruk_Makto

    I like to collect movies with unsimulated sex….and watch them for the stories.

  • Dee-abolik

    “Pirates”?

  • KilliK

    what do you mean?

  • Toruk_Makto

    She loves to show off the goods. Milk baby!

  • Toruk_Makto

    more like Romance (1999)…I know…I watch them with deep guilt.

  • KilliK

    god bless her for that.

  • Yeah, but that still didnt stop her hubby fromn cheating on her and with a stripper no less!

  • Toruk_Makto

    I’m not up on the Fergie gossip…Josh Duhamel cheated on her?

  • Toruk_Makto

    Ah, well…you know the old adage:

    “Show me a beautiful woman…”

  • Yeah, but she’s the bread winner! Plus, I would do things to her, that Joshy would never think of! Dat Hispanic ass, yo!