Buzz off, Sam Smith! …who should really sing the next Bond title song ? Buzz off, Sam Smith! …who should really sing the next Bond title song ?
Are there better choices than Sam Smith as performer for the James Bond title song? Buzz off, Sam Smith! …who should really sing the next Bond title song ?

With the recent announcement that a certain Sam Smith is singing the title song for the upcoming Bond movie Spectre, called “Writing’s on the Wall”, I start to wonder if he was the right choice. In an interview with Radio 1, Smith stated that he wrote it in “a few minutes”. Now I haven’t been familiar with Smith’s work before, but his breakthrough song “Stay With Me” (which got him into some copyright-related trouble with Tom Petty) is like a TV-dinner for the ears: Boring and not worth to pay undivided attention to it.

In my ears, there has not been a great Bond song since…. License to Kill (1989)? I think that even Tina Turner’s “Goldeneye” is a rather mediocre affair.

So who should really sing the title song for the next 007 outing? Here are some of my suggestions, in no particular order.

 

Jarvis Cocker

What can I say, I always loved this guy’s work. And he brings all the qualities that are necessary:

  • He is a brilliant songwriter, who can effortlessly conjure that certain Sixtyish- glam vibe with his work.
  • He is very good at injecting a subtle, almost gentle irony into his lyrics and vocals, something the 007-series is in dire need of nowadays.
  • He sounds as British as a lower jaw filled with a set of jumbled teeth.

 

Nick Cave

There is no need to introduce this legend. Like Cocker, he can masterfully blend mystery, drama and irony without those elements contradicting or hampering each other. Does that mix sound like “Bond” for you or what? Not to speak of his ominous, idiosyncratic vocals that can make us believe in the sexiness of danger again. Why did none of the producers ever think of him before?

 

Alison Goldfrapp

Another voice that is pure eroticism distilled into soundwaves. Does that make any sense to you? I don’t know, who cares. Alison is one half of the electronic music duo Goldfrapp and a good third of all songs in their back catalogue already sounds like out of a 007 movie already. So why did nobody ask them yet?

 

Robyn

This choice is a little different from the other ones, but I can imagine the Swedish pop artist with the distinctive voice singing a more modern, pumping piece in the tradition of Duran Duran’s “View to a Kill”.

 

Chris Corner

Corner started his singing career with the “Sneaker Pimps” in the mid 90s and is fronting his solo-project “IAMX” since 2004. His trademarks are his slightly androgynous, fragile voice and his talent for writing simple, but haunting pop tunes with a darkly glamorous vibe. Again, doesn’t that scream “Bond” for you?

 

Siouxsie Sioux

Yet another legend that never got a stab at performing a Bond song. Her return with the song “Love Crime” for the finale of Hannibal almost sounds like the perfect application letter for that job.


 

Runners-up:

David Bowie: That would be epic. And every British pop legend should have a Bond song on the resume, dammit, that’s much better than getting knighted by the Queen!

Chris Isaak: Would be ideal for a smooth Bond song in the tradition of “From Russia with Love” or “We have all the Time in the World” ( from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service).

Lady Gaga: Not a big fan of her body of work, but she can definitely has the voice and is talented.

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No thanks:

No more goddamn Rock ballads! James Bond does a lot of things, but he does not rock. “You know my name” (Casino Royale) by Chris Cornell channeling Jon Bon Jovi was embarrassing enough. The same goes for the ear-splitting Jack Whyte/Alicia Keys duet “Another Way to Die” with its misguided mix of screeching guitars and polished orchestra parts.

No casting show winners. Make a name for yourself before you apply for that job, you noobs.

No more song titles containing the word “Die” in all its variations. Come on.

None of the following artists should be ever considered: Olly Murs, Bruno Mars, Taylor Swift, Lorde, Robbie Williams.

No vocoder bullshit. You know why.

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What do you think? With which choices do you agree and with which ones do you disagree? Who else could do a Bond title song?

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DetectiveDee

Detective Dee reviews movies and sometimes TV-series. He likes to indulge in the Asian cinema, exploitation flicks and the horror genre but is no stranger to Blockbuster culture either. He writes whatever he wants, but always aims to entertain.

  • Nick Cave, Siouxie Soux……loving your choices, mang

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    My vote goes to Kira Piru and the Bruise.

  • “Piru” is slang for “The Devil” in Finnish, you know.

  • This lady here, bring some mother fucking depression to Bond.

  • I’d like to nominate our own Amorphis for this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqvz-tqCEyg

  • Orcus

    Fuck this, let’s go old school and class up the joint…

    Either bring back Shirley Basset or get the 60’s vibe going with Tony Bennett

    So sayeth Orcus

  • What about Tony Christie?

  • Orcus

    Great vocals, no recognition with today’s audience. At least Shirley has Bond cred and Tony eased himself into today’s gen with Lady Gaga

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Fitting! She’s quite ferocious.

  • Stalkeye

    I don’t know any of these Fuckers aside from David Bowie who sounds like the best choice. Although not a fan of Cornell, but I can stomach “You know my name” much easier than “Nobody does it better”.

    Bah, Bassey kicks all their Asses when it comes to Bond songs!!

  • Stalkeye

    *Slicing wrists as I hear this*
    But seriously, it’s an interesting choice albiet way outta left field.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Prince!

    The best of the listed choices is Bowie. Surprised he was never offered a crack at it already. Cave is great, but far too dark and melancholy for even the grittiest Bond.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    And I also strongly disagree that Bond “does not rock”. “Live and Let Die” and Duran Duran’s “Dance Into the Fire” were two of the very best themes from the series. Bond movies don’t jive well with straight-ahead rock, but rock songs with operatic flourishes and an epic, grandiose feel are an excellent fit for the movies/character.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Two great Bond themes that aren’t:

    Wilson and Broccoli need to think outside the box for once. We don’t need any more dinner party music designed to appeal to middle-class housewives – which is exactly what Sam Smith’s “neo-soul” warblings will inevitably end up being.

  • CreepyThinMan

    I’m fucking sick of the tie-in songs. How about just using a GREAT piece of music as the theme? Here’s two themes that have the sort of feel that I want from a Bond movie….
    https://youtu.be/DwgkHn_PixA
    https://youtu.be/W2ksIfv8QCg

  • CoolHandJuke

    no Raffi? fuck this shit…

  • CoolHandJuke

    is it just me or is the version of her who sang at the Oscars a few years ago much hotter?

  • The lady below is Finnish too. =)

  • CoolHandJuke

    shit gives me chills. slap Daniel Craig’s face on it and call it a day…

  • Oh, great. This once again proves my knowledge of even Finnish music is exactly fuck shit.

  • Tarmac492.1

    i like the siouxie and goldfapp i mean frapp i one time fapped to her.

  • Tarmac492.1

    bowie/reznor team up again

  • Tarmac492.1

    has annie lennox ever sang one?

  • Tarmac492.1

    michael bolton

  • Tarmac492.1

    everyone hate that mofo robbie williams,

  • Tarmac492.1

    no skrillex. i dont get it. get off my lawn u whipper snappers!!!

  • Okay, I was thinking more of typical guitar and drum-driven Rock.

  • JAGUART

    This has been my vote for over a decade;

  • Supported.

  • I think Cave could do it. Maybe in a collab.

  • Stalkeye

    Pop Rock.

  • Man, the things that qualified as “Rock” in the 80s…

  • Bop

    Did Tina Turner ever do a Bond song? I don’t remember.

    Tina
    Anastasia
    Gaga

    One of those would be fine.

  • Tina Turner sang “Goldeneye”!

  • Tarmac492.1

    I remember once my friend came into the apartment and showed us a suit he had purchased for an upcoming wedding.
    ‘ i got this for $150,” he said proudly.
    “It looks it,” my other friend said and chugged his Budweiser can.

  • Tarmac492.1

    New Wave??

  • Tarmac492.1

    Depeche Mode would have been a good choice in the 80’s or 90’s. What about a dark New Order?

  • Tarmac492.1

    What about P. Diddy and Jimmy Page?

  • CreepyThinMan

    I put out $1000 for the tux I got married in. I’ve put it in my will that I’m to be cremated in it. Preferably when I’m dead!!!FACT!!!

  • CreepyThinMan

    HERE’S WHY GOLDFRAPP SHOULD DO A BOND SONG!!!FACT!!!
    https://youtu.be/PHnYe5Nj0F0

  • Stalkeye
  • Stalkeye

    I remember you posting that Pic. 0069 Agent, Thinman!

    Represent!

  • Tarmac492.1

    I remember being excited to hear this because Jimmy and Diddy were blowing smoke up each other’s ass in interviews and I really like Zeppelin and Diddy had some decent shit and he was just Diddy. Kashmir is my favorite Zep song that is overplayed and then I heard it and was like umm this is garbage. Especially Diddy’s attempted Robert Plant howl. Then I saw the movie………

  • Stalkeye

    Bro, it didn’t need to be hardcore to be considered Rock all the time.

    The song had a driving force that is more uptempo than what was considered “Soft Rock” (I.E. Air supply) which i loathe.

    Duran’s song was Kick ass and had that sense of action, intrigue and danger. That is what describes the World of Bond.

    I’ll go to my Grave (Actually, I prefer to be cremated ergo, I meant Urn.) defending that song as it was a fitting theme for Moore’s swan song.

    Octopussy’s “All time high”? Fuck no!

  • Tarmac492.1

    Plus the way he sings “face to face” he sounds like a Bond villain.Don’t love Duran Duran, but they had some decent shit in my book.

  • Tarmac492.1

    I think Prince would purposely make something so outlandish and inaccessible just to make a point. Saw him on the Sign of the Times Tour and wasnt a huge fan, but man am I glad I saw him live. Dude can wail on the guitar when he wants.

  • Stalkeye

    I’m not that much of a Fan either but dammit if they didn’t have great songs like “Ordinary World” as well as “A View to a Kill”.

    It was because of that trailer from Layer cake (also starring Craig.) that got me buying that song.

  • Stalkeye

    Personally,I think Diddy ruined that song and it was the most lamest use of Kashmir since The Bad Lieutenant . Diddy can’t rap for Shit and him sampling David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” had me grit my teeth while clenching my fist.
    Yes, as you can tell, I’m not a Fan of “Puffy”.

  • It’s not a bad song at all, but I would have never considered it as “Rock”.

  • Stalkeye

    Great choice!

  • Stalkeye

    Well B, if Gaga performed a theme for Bond, it cant be as bad as ..

    ..https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfvD_brrrTc

  • Stalkeye

    Hah-hah. Close enuff. (;’

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Perhaps the rest of their catalogue doesn’t qualify (pop or New Wave would probably be more accurate), but that song certainly does. The construction and feel of it are pure arena rock. I’m not sure if it was performed entirely on synths but it could easily be translated to a live guitar/bass/drums arrangement.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    “Rock” is a pretty broad category.

  • Turd Has Escaped The Gravy

    Prince would do great as that guy can do anything, but yes, you’d never know what you were going to get with him.

    The producers would expect a soulful, Purple Rain-type ballad with soaring strings; instead, they’d be rewarded with a ten minute psychedelic, electro-funk jam with a country fiddle played over the top of it, and the little fella singing about getting his “muffin” buttered while praising the Lord!

    “This is supposed to be the Bond theme for ‘Spectre’, Prince? O-kay…”

  • Tarmac492.1

    nice

  • Tarmac492.1

    He hangs with Martha Stewart. I guess that should make you lose street cred auotmatically.

  • Bop

    That is just funny, mang. The only thing I remember from Goldenye is Famke Janssen.

  • Bop

    Madonna does not exist in this dojo.

  • Stalkeye

    LOL that overrated skeeze never did.

  • Stalkeye

    If he had actually got busy with Ol’ Marth, then he may get some cred back. XD
    She being all Gilfy and such.

  • Stalkeye

    “instead, they’d be rewarded with a ten minute psychedelic, electro-funk jam with a country fiddle played over the top of it, and the little fella singing about buttering the Bond girl’s “muffin” while praising the Lord!”

    XD OMMFG, my Ribs ache!!

  • Kyle Fulton

    Your dislike of You Know My Name – the best Bond theme ever done – completely obliterates your entire opinion for me. Sorry, man.

  • Okay.

  • franks_television

    The White Stripes song was almost good but the way it kept switching up was jarring. There was a good rock song in there, though. Maybe not great for a Bond theme. Not sure who should do the new one.

  • franks_television

    A Radiohead Bond theme would probably not work, but it would be interesting.

  • The song has an awful production. It kind of sounds tinny.

  • Stalkeye
  • Stalkeye

    To be fair, that’s Dee’s personal opinion just as we all are entitled to ours.