5 Potential Hannibal Spin-offs 5 Potential Hannibal Spin-offs
Okay, we maybe have to accept that NBC's "Hannibal" gets cancelled soon. But what about spinoffs with the show's most popular characters? I thought... 5 Potential Hannibal Spin-offs

Bad times for Hannibal fans, the chances that the show around the smoothest cannibal of pop culture is renewed, are dwindling.

But to be fair, maybe it’s not only NBC’s fault alone (although it tried its best to bury it) that there will possibly no fourth season. The target audience of this series has always been rather small: It was aimed solely at mature viewers and even among those, understandably not everybody is into the gore, the bleakness and the general weirdness the fans learned to love.

That’s why I had the idea to suggest 5 potential spinoff series with more accessible, tested and mass-compatible concepts, so we at least don’t have to miss our favourite characters on screen as some sort of compromise if we cannot get our weekly dose of bizarreness. Each of those shows follows chronologically the current third season, with Dr. Lecter still incarcerated.

chilton

Chilton aka Chilton PhD

Genre: Medical dramedy

Now that House M.D. has finished its run, there is a void on TV left for asshole doctors who are walking on a cane, and Dr. Chilton is here to fill it.

Each episode of this spin-off deals with a different patient that is institutionalized in Chilton’s sanitarium. The doctor discusses the psychological symptoms with his colleagues over the course of the episode, but in the end, Chilton always brushes the final diagnosis away and the subject usually winds up being drugged and incarcerated and sometimes lobotomized. And of course the episode is capped off by a few smug words by Chilton. That’s how the doctor rolls!

In between we witness his private life shenanigans, like his autograph hour for the book he wrote about Hannibal, or him listening to the surveillance tapes from Hannibal’s cell while playing Wii Golf in his office. A recurring scene shows him calling Dr. Alana Bloom on the phone at nights and trying to get her to co-write another book about the infamous cannibal. Episode 4, featuring Miggs, was already considered as the early comedic highlight of the first season by the test audience!

***

alanabloom

Dr. Alana Bloom, Maneater

Genre: Comedy

What scores better among the female audience than a quirky show filled with pseudo-witty dialogue, awkward moments and half-assed slapstick, rounded out with yesteryear cliches about single career women? Nothing, that’s why David E. Kelley is already planning this comedy show about Alana Bloom, who moves into the big city after Lecter got caught to start a new life. But not only her attempts at making career in a new surrounding reveal to be a bumpy ride, also her love life is rather impeded due to her notorious and well publicized past as the lover of Hannibal. The men she wants are deterred by that back story, while the ones that she can get also reveal to be -hilarity ensues- serial killers themselves on the next morning!

Why does she always fall for the same men? Will she find Mr. Perfect and happiness one day? We will know after 7 seasons if it does not get cancelled before!

***

redshoe

The New Red Shoe Diaries aka The Blood Red Shoe Diaries

Genre: Soft erotic, anthology, drama

Remember The Red Shoe Diaries ? If so, congrats, then you are probably in your mid 30s.

The show was about a guy who finds out that his fiancee, who committed suicide, was cheating on him, which makes him ponder about the nature of female sexuality. He reacts in the only reasonable way and runs an advert under the pen name “Red Shoes” encouraging readers to write him letters about their experiences with “love, betrayal and forbidden passion”. Each episode was dedicated to a different story, presented by ole horndog David Duchovny in the wraparound segment, who read the first lines (always starting with “Dear Red Shoes…”) of the letter out aloud to his canine with his monotone, bored voice.

Reviving shows from the early 90s are all the rage now (X-Files, Twin Peaks), so why not this soft erotica anthology series?

Remodelled as a Hannibal spin-off with Hugh Dancy as the presenter of the wraparound segment instead of Duchovny -both played famous fictional FBI agents after all, so it’s not a big leap- he stays in role as Will Graham, who became even more of an recluse after he got scorned by the now imprisoned Hannibal. Trying to fully understand what happened, Graham runs an advertisement in the newspaper seeking for people who mail him their stories about, you guessed it, “love, betrayal or forbidden passion” which he then reads out loud to his dogs.

His infamous name attracts a “different” kind of people though and so he gets letters by questionable dudes with weird pen names like a “Buffalo Bill” who tells him how he wants to fuck himself or “The Red Dragon” who just wishes that women would see him as what he is.

***

verger

Mason Verger, Camp Counselor

Genre: Comedy, Coming-of-age

After Hannibal is locked away in the asylum, Mason Verger not only loses his nemesis, but without the quest for revenge, also his purpose in life.

In the middle of this life crisis, he has an epiphany: The only way out is to completely turn away from the decadence and luxurious lifestyle and a return to the roots. His roots as counselor in the Christian summer camps that were founded by his dad, to be precise!

Partly a hilarious romp in the vein of 80s teen movies, partly a touching coming-of-age story*, this series shows what Verger and the kids of the summer camp learn from each other in their sometimes side-splitting, other times heart-breaking adventures and when the summer is over, everybody has grown a little as a human. Several tie-in options for chocolate and candy bar brands.

*emphasis on “touching”

***

joy

 The New Joy of Painting with Dr. Hannibal Lecter

Genre: Educational

He can draw, he can lull you in with his words and he has now a lot of time at his hands.

Think about it.

***

What are your ideas? Mr. Fuller, if you are reading this, please tell me your opinion!

Also: Check out my article about 4 Things we will surprisingly be missing if Hannibal gets cancelled
Or the 8 cannibalistic movie alternatives to Hannibal
You prefer listening over reading? Then check out my Hannibal podcasts Part 1 (movies) and Part 2 (TV show)!

 

Author Image

DetectiveDee

Detective Dee reviews movies and sometimes TV-series. He likes to indulge in the Asian cinema, exploitation flicks and the horror genre but is no stranger to Blockbuster culture either. He writes whatever he wants, but always aims to entertain.

  • LMAO at the last one. I’d watch that

  • What about the Mason Verger show?

  • Mr Nick Nightly

    Mason Verger looks like Fire Marshall Bill.

  • Perhaps. Or maybe a Mason Verger hosted “The Apprentice”

  • Love the “Chilton” idea too

  • How about Jack Crawford taking over a police procedural?

    Oh, wait…

  • Of course a new season of “In Treatment”, with Gillian Anderson as Dr. Du Maurier

  • Stalkeye

    LMMFAO@The New Joy of Painting.
    This is brilliant Satire! Also you have excelled in your PS skills.
    (“Most impressive”) Reminds me that I have to watch at least the first episode of Hannibal to see if tis a good fit for me. *Catching up with the recent season of Power*

  • Thank you! I hope you dig it! “Power” does not sound too bad.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Nice one Dee!!! Funny stuff!!!! Red Shoe Diaries??? Blast from the mofo past.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Mads should play Bob Ross in the biopic. Refn needs to direct.

  • Thanks! Red Shoe Diaries was our sex education!

  • Tarmac492.1

    Do you remember Dream On? I am guessing you were born early 80’s?? Maybe a bit too before your time? I think it was late 80s?

  • I was born 1980. I had to google it, it tells me nothing.

  • Tarmac492.1

    Cool year to be born. I always thought 1979 sounded cool, also. I got stuck with 1972. Dream On was an early HBO series. Lots of good nudity.

  • Tarmac492.1

    How about Gillian Anderson in I Dream of Tarmac? In it, she walks around my apartment in conservative yet sexy clothing, picking up all of my empty bottles, cooking for me, giving me sex and just telling me how I am such a swell guy.

  • Tarmac492.1

    LEMME SHOW YA SOMETHING!!!!

  • That’s stretching the credibility. One can suspend disbelief only so far.

  • Tarmac492.1

    bah!!!

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    He does

  • Full Frontal Throttle

    That would be a true fantasy show!

  • CoolHandJuke

    I’d watch it…

  • CoolHandJuke

    Dream on was awesome. How’s that nerd get so many fine pieces of ace?

  • KilliK

    plot magic.

  • Throfew
  • Contrarian

    Excellent!